HOTTY TODDY DWARF ALMIGHTY

I’m speachless. My first inclination is the "I am looking to hire a professional Dwarf " post is itself a joke, but on reflection I think it’ sprobably real.

Seems a bit of a stretch to use this listing to reach Ole Miss football in an effort to mock its heightened rankings. Must be findng yourself short on material today.

Mark, no! It’s meant completely literally! YOU BUSTED US!!!

“short on material” HA HA! I get it!

That Mark is clever…veeerrry clever.

Will Kenny Irons be there? If so they may need a dwarf with a very liberal “comfort zone”.

Oh wait, Kenny actually likes Midgets… you know what they say about the difference between the two? You don’t? Neither do I.

Schlabach, is that you?

Isn’t it nice, luring disco dollys to a life of vice?

I’d like to see Peter Dinklage take the job. The night would end with the frathouse in flames, the chapter president rolling on the ground in severe pain, and Dinklage strolling back to his limo with 3 cheerleaders.

I have GOT to go to this party.

Gotta admit, Peter Dinklage is one handsome dwarf. If he was 6 ft tall, he would be the George Clooney of the non-dwarf people.

Write a post on Ole Miss, throw in race. Who saw that one coming? Real original there, Orson.

@ 11…perhaps your nom de plume should be changed to ""Mr. Carter Goes to Washington".

@12, Hey, I’m not the one that played le card….

Buddy from work has tried to hire a dwarf for his St Patty’s day party 3 years in a row and always strikes out. It’s a shame he doesn’t have Terry Bowden’s number.

Hello single issue voter!

Did you miss me?

“…the Easter Bunny. The fraternity assumes no responsibility for your being shot by overly zealous local hunters…”

Good thing deer aren’t a traditional Easter animal…it’s open season in Oxpatch now—IN THE CITY LIMITS. http://www.oxfordeagle.com/news1.html No word yet on the bag limit for dwarves.

Glad to hear. Now, I need to make travel arrangements for Oxford for this weekend. I want to be at a fraternity party where the guys are so organized as to take out an ad to hire a dwarf. These cats are serious. I can imagine this conversation taking place a lot at fraternity houses across the country (I know my fraternity did once or twice), but these guys actually followed through with it. Color me impressed, albeit a little dumbfounded.

Do we know what Cody Hawkins or Mike Henig have planned for Friday night?

I would have been more impressed had they not ripped off the idea from the guys who went out to Vegas for a FF draft party and were looking to hire two female midgets for, well whatever they were hiring them for.

Still, a good idea is a good idea.

Hell, Alabama already has a dwarf at practice. Bunch of copycats. Of course, he is around to make Nick Saban feel like Shaq, and I am sure not at $150 an hour, or maybe so, since Nick is big bank Hank nowadays.

Nothing tops this:
http://markramsey.com/?p=314

But reading Gibbon’s prose is another matter entirely! And, yeah, I’m pretty sure he covered dwarfs when discussing the worst excesses of the Byzantine Empire in Volume IV (somewhere amidst the eunuchs, concubines, and monks).

@23

Not just at practice – he sprinted across the field several times last weekend. of course, it could be the fever talking; the flu is a bitch that way. Or maybe the three Sam Adams Imperial Whites I consumed in the last hour before kickoff, we’re still new to this high-gravity phenomenon around here.

At any rate, there sure as hell looked like a little person on the sidelines. One of Dr. Mrs. Poobie’s cow-orkers is doing a sports medecine rotation and he swears the guy is real, but could just be farkin’ with me.

If Orson is right, the future of Ole Miss’s pre-game motivational speeches could be interesting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsUThgpC_rg&feature=PlayList&p=6158C433F3D4F77A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2

Who gives a shit, honestly? We – Ole Miss – bring most of it on ourselves, believe it or not, but most of us are fine with. I’m all for being the bad guys. Is it cliche? Sure, but it’s hard to keep a healthy daily diet of content without low hanging fruit.

Well, really now – what do you expect? Going from Orgeron to Nutt seems the very definition of passing from barbarism to decadence.

Fraternity parties with professional midget talent is so Emory-circa-late-1990s.

Of course, access to that sort of thing is a lot more common in Atlanta than… say… Jackson.

Godfrey, shut the fuck up.

There’s a guy in town who has been hired to do Hal & Mal’s St Paddy’s Parade for years. Dyes his hair and beard orange and wears the shoes and everything. He is also the best little person bartender at one of the best dives east of the MS. I bet he’d do it for $150 and a shot at some sororo tail.

Incidentally, I’ve always held the opinion that it was not decadence, but the loaning of massive amounts of credit to patrician families to finance their lifestyles and the ensuing cash crunch brought about by disruption of trade in the eastern part of the Empire that ultimately brought about the fall of Rome (YAY GRAD SKOOL!).

For once, I’m on their bandwagon, they beat us to it. Pretty cool idea, hopefully done by my old frat.

Of course, this will never happen now that it’s hit the airwaves.

If Cody Hawkins signed up today to work this gig on Saturday, he’d be 6’10" by Friday.

Colorado is wearing 1937 throwback unis this week. Randomly selected players from that team – without discriminating against the deceased – could beat this year’s Buffs.

Orgeron to the Flatirons!

I believe the Claremont Lounge will arrange for its talent to travel as needed. They’ve gotta have a lillun’ in the trunk somewhere.

Maybe it’s only hearing Gibbon in the voice of an 8-year-old girl causes strokes. Iggy Pop loves Gibbon, and he doesn’t know anything about decadence.

As someone who has been to a party where a dwarf suddenly appeared, it is much more awkward than it sounds.

When the dwarf starts crying and telling everyone about his multiple DUI arrests (I know, a dwarf driving) the party goes downhill quickly—and this guy came from a Los Angeles “talent” agency and was an “actor.”

“Party dwarves” are nothing new. What about the supposed Freddie Mercury / Queen party featuring dwarves w/ bowls full of blow strapped to their heads?

stretch….reach….heightened….short….

See what I did there O? Some caught on.

Dear Orson,

I’m really sorry we beat you at football last October. I really am. Though I jubilantly celebrated, offering high-fives to every Rebel fan in the vicinity, I didn’t realize how heavily I’d contributed to the decline of civilized society as we know it. In the face of your recent, merit-less shit-talking directed at my beloved Ole Miss football team, Oxford, Houston Nutt, etc., I now realize the error of my ways. Shay Hodge should have considered the weight of his actions when he pancake blocked UF’s designated trash-talker, Major Wright, while Dexter McCluster roguishly raped sweet Urban Meyer’s endzone. Mr. Hodge went on to further blaspheme the college football world by torching Mr. Wright on the way to an 86 yard touchdown that ended up sealing the wretched Rebel victory. So sorry; I know your Death Star was expensive, but we blew it up anyways; that was irresponsible, and I apologize. But seeing as how we return a good quarterback, a stable of running backs and receivers, a great defensive line, and enough playmakers sprinkled in at various other positions, and seeing as how several other top 10 teams have looked like garbage so far this season, cut us some fucking slack until we lose a game, how’bout it? It may be against South Carolina, it may be in the SEC Championship game, it may be in 2010, but for now, just let… it… go… The Gators will be alright.

@23 & 25
Here is your answer regarding Mini Saban. If you back up to the OP of thread there is a picture of him. In addition,
he runs out after Tiffin nails the kickoff down to the 20 to retrieve the tee. Enjoy your cocktails.
http://forums.tidesports.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/3631098265/m/9961014919/p/4

ooh. me thinks Orson has hit a nerve. well done.

Don’t y’all play Tennessee this week?

We do play the vols this week, just nice to pick on two at once occasionally.

Too bad that safety Colby Arceneaux transferred. Assuming him taking the job wouldn’t have been an NCAA violation.

@31, the guy in Hal & Mal’s parade is a bartender at Under the Hill Saloon in Natchez. He’s definitely an entertaining dwarf.

 http://www.underthehillsaloon.com/custom/webpage.cfm?content=Gallery&id=131

You will never see a Midget Troupe perform as hard as we will the rest of this season. God Bless

39:

You’re accusing OTHER TOP TEN TEAMS of looking like garbage? Look in the mirror you floppy haired jackass, your team played to the level of MEMPHIS for 3+ quarters, and probably would have lost if the Tigers had a living, breathing QB under center and not Shaquille O’Neal’s bastard child. You guys are in for a rude awakening behind a sorry offensive line and sloppy thirds at the quarterback position. Y’all hit a fluke on a flat Florida squad last year, beat the Black Pearl and Texas Tech in Dallas when Crabtree was playing at 70%, and now you want some respect? Let the Sabanator take care of my light work. Keep doing your thing, Orson.