GREAT MOMENTS IN FLORIDA/TENNESSEE: ARIAN FOSTER IS HIMSELF
Arian Foster is sorry he dropped your baby on his head. He would have held onto it, but it flew out of his hands while he was busy trying to catch the coffee he’d just dropped, which he paid for with money that slipped out of his hand while attempting to pay, which came from a wallet he also fumbled onto the pavement, which he dropped while thinking about the other cup of coffee he’d just dropped on a woman, staining her dress permanently, something he’d done while trying to hold a door for her, which he’d let slip and crash into her forehead, knocking her onto the pavement, where he’d dropped the coffee on her while simultaneously trying to catch her baby, who she had dropped because Arian Foster cannot hold onto things for longer than a second before his hands repel matter and send it crashing to the ground, because he is Arian Foster and has powers like that.
Fortunately, Dallas Baker came in, caught everything before it hit the ground, and saved the day.









1
zzgator says:
I love HATE WEEK…went out walking last night, passed a woman walking her dog and wearing a UF shirt…I gave her a “Go Gators” as she walked by…she responded “Beat Tennessee”…and we both kept right on walking.
September 16th, 2009 at 10:33 am
2
wfguiteau says:
I’m trying to imagine a Hate Week at Stony Brook University. I guess there’s a rivalry with Colgate, but nobody gives a fuck. Too busy with fake tans and excessively gaudy displays of immaculate mansculpting.
September 16th, 2009 at 10:38 am
3
hobeg8r says:
Jay Graham apparently had the same unique power in 1995.
September 16th, 2009 at 10:47 am
4
Ramblin Dreck says:
@ 1
She didn’t reply “Go start a Fortune 500 company” like in the commercial?
September 16th, 2009 at 10:51 am
5
Grady says:
Walking out of the Raleigh Y this morning (wearing a Florida shirt) and the guy behind the desk: “Give Lane my regards and condolences this weekend.” Yes, hate week is upon us and lovin’ it.
September 16th, 2009 at 10:52 am
6
Vol says:
I prefer to remember happier times. Like our final farewell to Spurrier in Hogtown for example!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7okfJnYeD-g
(No one thought we could win that one either, boys and girls).
September 16th, 2009 at 11:08 am
7
Orson Swindle says:
Fucking Jon Hoke.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:24 am
8
Vol says:
You lost me. Who is Jon Hoke?
September 16th, 2009 at 11:28 am
9
derby says:
ah yes. the ‘01 tenn/fla game. rescheduled. after the fsu victory i was already inviting friends to stay with me in la for the title game against miami. tough loss.
not sure if florida would have beaten miami, but lord knows it would have been a much better match-up then nebraska. awful.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:32 am
10
etsuVol says:
Poor Erik, 2nd best QB to play at UT.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:44 am
11
hobeg8r says:
Vol – unlike O, Jon Hoke had fond memories of his time at UF:
Hoke had 18 years of college coaching experience, including three seasons with the Florida Gators, before getting his first pro job. He was assistant head coach/defensive coordinator in his final season of 2001 at Florida. He calls his college days good training for pro coaching.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:47 am
12
hobeg8r says:
That didn’t come out right. I’m sure O has fond memories of UF – not fond memories of Coach Hoke. I think he must rank slightly behind Name [Redacted].
September 16th, 2009 at 11:51 am
13
ALGator says:
@6 – Vol:
So, by your logic, you’re saying Tennessee is going to win?
September 16th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
14
Vol says:
ALGator, let’s not get carried away. I’m still trying to decide if I might just go play golf Saturday afternoon instead. I’d hate to pull a “Ricky” in front of my wife and daughter (minus the racial epithets, mind you). Of course, with my luck if I DID go play golf instead, we’d probably win and I’d miss it. Conversely, when I drive nine hours to Knoxville, we lose to UCLA. Again.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
15
MaconDawg says:
Funnier image: watching Foster randomly drop anything and everything, or Wondy Pierre-Louis standing around watching Arian Foster (and every one else) drop stuff without moving in to catch it? Ok, go!
September 16th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
16
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
I hear Urbs is planning a Blue Out. Great. 100,000 screaming fans wearing Tebow jerseys, painted up like the Blue Man Group-that would be impressive.
Lane better coach ‘em up. Quick. Godspeed Lane, Godspeed……
This is a diff LK than at the beginning of the season. He starts a fire with a flame thrower, and now is trying to put it out by complementing the Gators??? I hope the Gators just pound the rock and run the score up without having to throw one pass. Im thinking Tebow runs 2 TD’s, Brandon Spikes and the Florida D get 2 TD’s, each Quarkback gets a TD….Did I miss anybody? How many turnovers does Crompton get before Coach O suits up?
September 16th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
17
zzgator says:
@ 4…we reserve those responses for the offseason.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
18
TJ says:
@9:
I thought I grew up a Florida fan. Then I started at UF in 2002 and kept hearing “Fucking Osama Bin Laden. We win the national championship if not for that bastard.” I realized then that I had a long way to go to be that fucking crazy.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
19
zzgator says:
@ 18…color me crazy then.
September 16th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
20
Bearcrawls says:
That’s not bullshit. Osama blows goats. I’ve never forgiven Bin Laden for fucking up Florida’s 2001 season. Travis Stephens ran for 200+ yards that night, but he was hurt and would not have played back in September. Final score was 32-34, and we couldn’t convert 2 pointer with about a minute left.
Grossman would have won the Heisman (came in 2nd in 4th closest vote ever), UF would have played LSU in the SEC title game who we had already beaten 44-15 earlier that season. Spurrier would have wept for having no more worlds left to conquer as HBC in college with 2 Heisman trophy QB’s and 3 National title game appearances on his resume. Fucker.
September 16th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
21
g8rslm says:
@ 19 & 20 – exactly. Let’s not forget Dockett’s twisting of Earnest Graham’s knee the week before so he was injured and didn’t play (dirtbag DD also tried to stomp on Rex’s hand!) – I too thought we would have been headed to Pasadena if the game had been played in September…
September 16th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
22
zzgator says:
@ 20…not just Stephens,… John Henderson was also out with an injury in September.
and @ 21…Dockett still gets the finger every time he shows up on my TV screen…jackass (To borrow a term from our esteemed president.)
September 16th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
23
Vol says:
Gentlemen, Gentlemen…but aren’t you glad you got the opportunity to play a healthy Vol team, rather than finding those elusive three points solely because Big John and Little Travis were ailin’???
September 16th, 2009 at 8:44 pm