GREAT MOMENTS IN FLORIDA/TENNESSEE: ARIAN FOSTER IS HIMSELF

Arian Foster is sorry he dropped your baby on his head. He would have held onto it, but it flew out of his hands while he was busy trying to catch the coffee he'd just dropped, which he paid for with money that slipped out of his hand while attempting to pay, which came from a wallet he also fumbled onto the pavement, which he dropped while thinking about the other cup of coffee he'd just dropped on a woman, staining her dress permanently, something he'd done while trying to hold a door for her, which he'd let slip and crash into her forehead, knocking her onto the pavement, where he'd dropped the coffee on her while simultaneously trying to catch her baby, who she had dropped because Arian Foster cannot hold onto things for longer than a second before his hands repel matter and send it crashing to the ground, because he is Arian Foster and has powers like that.

Fortunately, Dallas Baker came in, caught everything before it hit the ground, and saved the day.

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