OH, IT'S HATE WEEK

Excellent. Reptile wins, indeed.

http://www.playworksonline.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/mk_fatality.png

This just in: Jonathan Crompton said he was really going to improve this year since he’d been watching lots of Jake Delhomme video.

I was hoping this theme was coming back. Still haet Miami more, though.

Clubber Lang has a prediction for this game.

“Mark Richt is a saint walking among us, and Urban Meyer dropped a motherfucking safe on him and Georgia for dancing.”

that’s a helluva line right there

If it weren’t for that atrocious day-glo orange and the stupidest-fucking-moronic-whore-cock of a fight song, I wouldn’t hate UT that much. But I do.

I will always save my most hateful feelings for FSU, but still: standing ovation.

Also, it wouldn’t be hate week without: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mor3ZBsKINI

Dude. You’re on fire. Hillarious.

Only thing that would’ve made it perfect— tied in Cracker Barrel again to your Knoxville analysis.

I will be DAMNED DISAPPOINTED if one of you doesn’t get a giant “Hello Kiffin” onto the GameDay broadcast!

I hate dogs too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aptl4jXYIIs

You know, I looked up “somnolent” and I have to call bullshit. I’ve tailgated and been to games in Gainesville, and fail to see how having some geriatric on Death’s door lead a 2-bits cheer from before Rocky Top was even composed is any better.

Also, it was nice of Urban to wait 365 days to drop the safe on UGA for dancing.

This creamsicle doesn’t run.

A delicious conflation of lyrical and hateful. I give it 3.5 stars out of 4.

Why not 4? Because only cartoons drop safes…

I conceived a burning hatred of Tennessee after Spurrier’s first season. They gave us a serious beatdown, which is bad enough, but they took it to a new level when their students celebrated by chanting “our students don’t get killed” For those who don’t get the meaning of that, this was a wittly little reference to five UF students butchered by a serial killer in the weeks before the game. Anyone who was there will tell you It was a seriously shitty time to live in Gainesville, so you can imagine how well that went over.

The next time we played them was a night game in the swamp, and was one of the most intense game day atmospheres I’ve ever been a part of. The student section at that time sat right behind the visitor’s bench and sent a non stop barrage of cups and other detritus down on their heads. Good times. Ended up getting the student sectionn moved around though.

Now I just hope the cameras catch the exact moment Kiffykin’s bowels turn to water under the basilisk stare of Urban.

I’ve never been overwhelmed by Florida’s pre-game either, but for some reason I always get a kick out of that little video they play with “The Swamp: only Gators get out alive.”

Maybe I just like watching videos of alligators.

I don’t like Auburn, but I hate Tennessee. They low down, they dirty, they snitches.

Roll Tide. I hope ya’ll run them out of the stadium.

after OM eked out a win at FL last year and prompted The Tebow to deliever his ghettysburg, I wonder how crompton reacted? I suspect he just got dranked and took the S10 muddin and threw shit

I don’t expect it to be close (regardless of how good our D is). I’m guessing UF 63 UT 10 and I’m expecting that Urban will use his full complement of time outs in the 4th quarter in his attempt to get it to 70.

But I also remember that in SOS first year, he came to Knoxville and Majors and the Vols put it on him more than was required. We know how that story ran for the next 10 years as the tables turned in an unseemly way (from a Vol perspective).

So enjoy the moment (or two or three). Drop your damn safe. Drop it more than once if you like. Drop it on the band. Drop it on Smokey. God knows enough gator s—t has been dropped (and thrown and excreted) on Vol fans over the years. We expect nothing less and many frankly are refreshed that someone from our side decided to dish some s—t back for once. (oh and before someone comments, yes we know, Lane said a bunch of s—t before he’s done anything on the field. Yes he has to back it up. Maybe he won’t. But it was fun watching the reaction from people, if classy, would’ve stayed above the fray. You’re on top of the college football world. why be so offended.)

While the above is true, but that aquarium in Chattanooga is simply to die for. GO VOLS!!

Sun Sports replayed the 2006 game a few weeks back and when Tenn scored a touchdown (in a game we won 3 years ago) I got completely fucking furious and called my television a series of names that would make Andrew Dice Clay embarrassed.

I hate Tennessee. I hate that stupid fucking song. I hate their stupid fucking hillbilly fans. I hate that fucking dog. I hate their fucking stadium. I hate that fucking orange. And I hate their fucking coach.

I love the fact that Urban is an icy cold son of a bitch on game day, and I hope he drops Cleveland on them. THE WHOLE FUCKING CITY.

Meyer’s rushing 11 (twice) on a back-up punter in a blow-out at Colorado State showed me he was just the kind of cold blodded killer UF was looking for after Zook’s firing earlier that season. Sonny Lubbick (the “Bobby Bowden of the West”) didn’t ask for much of anything either (other than some offense he must have given to a young Urban Meyer while on his staff), and he had the safe dropped on him.

Meyer doesn’t generate the warm and fuzzies like Spurrier, but his taste for vegance makes him the kind of northerner who can be embraced by Gator fans. Just hope the Gators don’t hyperventilate, as they did in the unfortunate 2007 “revenge game of the century” against Auburn.

“That orange color is like the inside of a pumpkin and I hate pumpkins.”

Beautiful

Tough, tough week for a Tide fan. Obviously, we’re all in agreement that Kiffeykins is a silver spoon fed, born on 3rd base thinking he hit a triple, way too hot wife, never accomplished a damn thing sunnavabitch and I want him to fail so spectacularly that he sets Tennessee back 10 years ala Mike Dubose ruining nearly an entire decade for Bama fans.

That being said, as we are running in the proverbial 2nd seat in the conference, trying to take the crown from the apparently never going to run out of 5’9" 180 4.1 running quarkbacks, Jesus 2.0 (now taller and with wind-up baby rhino action), and the Voldemort to our Darth Vader at coach, I need Florida to lose.

For this weekend, I’m willing to bide my time on Florida and enjoy an absolute Evan Stoning of Lane Kiffins whilst I count the days till Atlanta.

@ 23

Well, I have no sympathy for you because even if LSU should get it’s shit together and beat Florida (If we can beat Florida, we’ll beat y’all) then our prize for that, is inevitably play Florida again in Atlanta. And of course, if Florida has a loss, you know Tebow will make some magnificent promise in one of his post-loss sermons that will fire up the beast even more.

Yeah Tennessee has “fucking hillbilly fans.” Have you even been to Gainesville, dude?

Why would you need Florida to lose? That would just make the SEC Championship Game less exciting.

I am most curious if Charlie Strong will pull out all the defensive schemes this week to try to keep Tennessee from scoring a touchdown or continue to keep most of it close to his chest for an important game like at LSU. Probably depends on how much the fumbly offense is shooting itself in the foot that day.

Careful there, UF fans.

If Urban has a weak spot – it is when he faces non-spectacular QBs.

See: Brandon Cox.

I hate to judge a coach entirely on one decision, but keeping Crompton has dropped his stock to mere coinage.

Urban is not a hitman, he’s a damned T-888.

Revenge is over-rated…its great to win the game and to do so with an exclamation point is fine, but light orange will never convince me they don’t suck and I’ll never convince them the Orange and Blue doesn’t suck…we’ll have to agree to disagree…although I’ll have the preponderance of the evidence on my side with a large disparity between our respective scores. Beyond that I’ll enjoy the increasing current record of wins over a rival…

I think this could very well happen, and it would give UT a better chance to win:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVrsGHs2MCk

PS: Check out how young Uncle Verne looks

Final Score:
UF-56
UT-10

#27, Auburn is one of the group of decent SEC West teams that Florida struggles with in goofy/random games, not an Urban Meyer weakness for bad quarterbacks.

When I came to Florida, I did not have any feeling towards Tennessee. Then I attended that fateful game in 2001, delayed after 9/11 and moved to the last game of the year. All UF needed was a win and we were smelling roses. That little UT bastard running back ran for 800 yards, and UF’s last second 2-pt conversion failed. The sight and sound of Clausen leading the UT band playing Rocky Top was seared into my memory. Now, whenever I hear Rocky Top, I want to punch a baby. Preferably a baby wearing creamsicle orange who already has more teeth than both his parents combined.

I hate Tennessee and I hate Lane Kiffin. And I love thinking about the ways in which Urban Meyer will make sure that Kiffikins never crosses him again. You ask why, when on top of the world, you would care about Kiffin’s comments. Well, Urban knows that getting to the top isn’t the goal, it’s staying on top. And the only way to stay on top is to never let the fire die. Thank you, Lane Kiffin, for pouring kerosene on that Gator flame. May god have mercy on your soul.

@25

Gainesville has rednecks not hillbillies. They’re like hillbillies but wear shoes, usually have all of their teeth and drive bigger trucks. Though, they’re more likely to attempt to brew their own version of Busch Light instead of setting up a moonshine still on the back corner of their “property”.

Is there any way we can get some footage from James Bates’ old TV show impersonating a Tennesse fan at some point during the week?

I am a gator transplant living in knoxville. I am in the heart of enemy territory. I hate the vols, I hate their stupid vol
walk, I hate the goddamn creamsicle/buccaneer throwback orange jerseys, I want to bludgeon Lane Kiffin with
a gator helmet while porking Layla. My wife bleeds orange and white, so I am spending the week in the guest bed.
It will be a long week, and I will relish in the complete and total annihilation of the Vols and the exposure of the
farce that is Lane Kiffin coaching.

ahh the famed 2001 game where wavy chavy pulled out the famed “prowler” defense.. at least the game gave merit to the argument that if we played UF later in the year we would win at least 1/5th of the time..

My guess is Kiffin full on scratches his balls and gets some good swamp stank on his adolescent fingers before shaking Meyers hand at the end of the game..

a calling card if you will..

@24, I have to point out that Ole Miss beat Florida last year and didn’t manage to beat Alabama, so the definitive “If LSU beats Florida, they’ll beat Alabama” logic may not hold up. Not saying it can’t happen, but it wasn’t borne out by history last year.

Joe Kines, Norm Chow, Bill Oliver, Charlie Strong, John Chavis, Ken Donahue, the cast of THOUSANDS of Joe Pa’s assistants…none of these folks were or are head coaches (I do not count Brother Oliver’s brief interim gig at Auburn ditto Kines’ at Arkansas or Bama).

And Kiffin is now making millions at Tennessee while starting a giant catfish at QB.

I hated Tennessee with the intensity of a billion suns while Jabba the Pumpkin was in charge. Now my feeling more resembles contempt. And if you think I’m contemptuous, just wait until Meyer and Saban, the other capo regime in the conference, get done with him.

relevant to this discussion:

http://deadspin.com/5359047/dude-youre-making-out-with-a-dude

I’m waiting for that moment when Kiffykins throws Orgeron or another coach under the bus. Oh god, I do love trailer park drama!

@etsuVol – Don’t go ruining my hatred with “facts” and “logic”.

;)

You hate us because of our fight song…sounds like a great argument. And who is calling who a hillbilly? Has anyone here ever been to Alabama? or hell Mississippi? And not to mention a large percent of Florida fans, all those from the middle of the state are up there in terms of complete toothless wonderpups who can’t count past 22 (thank the Lord…or maybe inbreeding…for those extra toes).

Sure Kiffin said some s*it but people are talking about the Vols, better than being completely forgotten. And of course the Gators are going to sh*tkick us, we have no quarterback. The defense should make it at least respectable in the first half but it’ll end up ugly. But I think in the end, Kiffin will make the Vols a factor in the SEC in the coming seasons. You can’t expect a program with the economic power that UT has to just sit around and become content with mediocrity.

Hate the colors, hate the fight song, we don’t really care. At least we aren’t cousin lovers a la ’Bama.

@12

etsuVOL had to look up ‘somnolent,’ lol. Guess the UT education doesn’t expand the vocabulary much. Small words please Orson, for the UT readers.

Watchmen wasn’t that good. I know it’s not really about the movie, but I just felt it had to be said.

Florida 32 – Tennessee 6

The score will be 17 to 6 at the half then Florida blows it wide open!

@32. Even after 2001, I never hated Tennessee too much until my freshman year (2002) when the marching band made the brilliant decision to march back to our buses from Neyland past a parking garage. Having a full beer can explode at your feet from 3 stories up is an experience.

And then of course in 2004 only about 2/3 of the crowd was still around to watch Dallas Baker get his personal foul, the refs fuck up the clock, and Ron Zook position himself in front of the firing squad.

Now that hate week is kicking in—and with all due disrespect to FSU—fuck Tennesse. Fuck them right in the ear.

Did anyone notice how UCLA neutralized Eric Berry? If Ricky can do it, what about Urb?

My guess is that Monte & Lil Kiffy feel this is their BOWL GAME. It will be tougher than anticipated. Urb will, a la Bear, stick it right in Eric’s face and see what he’s made of.

Halftime, UF by 7-13 ponts. Win by 24 or so. Of course, I’d like to see a 63-17 game (hey, USChix – ever seen that score before???)

#45
 Well then, based on the history, albeit small one, between Kiffy and Urbs, looks like
Kiffy tooks some bad advice and decided to snitch on Urban. So in honor of that
I dub this the “Snitches Get Stitches Bowl”.

I am sure he will send a message, the same one Georgia got, except this one has more ill will behind it. Even Tebow will play the role of Archangel of Death…..

Actually I didn’t see the UCLA game and would like to know what they did about Eric Berry.

Berry led the team in tackles and had a TFL. Don’t know if that counts as neutralizing him, but Monte said he wanted to move EB around and so far he’s done that. I don’t remember UCLA throwing a pass more than 5 yards downfield either. Their longest scoring drive was 51 yards, their only TD drive was 35 yards. It was basically the same as the UF game last year: the offense turned it over repeatedly putting the defense in bad situations.

I think the easy correction to this is Cromps throwing the bomb often, because when it gets intercepted it’s like a punt. Otherwise I don’t see how UT can win, although we were 27 point ’dogs in 2001 also……

I own a little piece of Atlanta. It is not a safe place. I have orange cats trained to kill. There is only one way out. If you come here, I will eventually turn your flesh to vapor.

/hate.

You know, I could never but my finger on Urban Meyer….. until now….. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT…… and let me see… spit beer up once laughing…… check…… then came “mother fucking safe”….. spit beer out freaking again…. check…… this is why you guys are the best….

Wanna have some fun? Walk up behind Peyton Manning and yell, “ALEX BROWN!!”

I don’t even have a dog in this fight and I want Kiffykins to get the safe dropped on him. He murdered my favorite pro team by running to daddy in the middle of a playoff drive because he knew he was in trouble and needed his pop-pop to make it all better. I can’t get mad at his daddy because it’s a natural reaction to want to help your son, so fuck Kiffykins right in his little Kiffy hole. Please score 100 points on his stupid ass. kthanks.

Masterful analogy right here folks, that’s why Orson is the best college football writer out there right now.

“Don’t look at us: there’s little deep emotional bonding with Urban Meyer, since his relationship with the Florida fanbase is like that of a mob boss with his prize assassin. We pay him to eliminate people in cold cash. He does that. We exchange Christmas cards and formal handshakes. Urban Meyer is not a cuddler with anyone, as far as we know, and only prizes the sweet embrace of victory and cold vengeance.”

To be honest with you, as a Georgia fan, I was pissed that the team played so poorly last year, especially the offense, but the timeouts really didn’t bother me. After the endzone party, they just seemed so cliched and unimaginative. Or maybe they just didn’t fit into such a cute little jingle as much.

Sure, make fun of moonshine until it shows up at your tailgate,
and you have to explain that you prefer Disaronno on ice
like that dude made on the tv and some Tennesseans get you
drunk under the folding chair and pwned in front of your wife’s
misfit fake boobs. It’s all good then.

Also, I agree with etsuVol, Hardesty may go Travis Stephens
on y’all with 226 on 19 – although certainly Crompton is no
Casey “one-handed-UGA-slayer” Clausen. We don’t even
have “play-the-best-when-double-digit-dogs” Fulmer anymore!

Moonshine, bitches.

In my experience, anyone who says “to be honest with you”…isn’t.

Luckily, I am not a part of your experience.

It’s kinda funny to think of Urban Meyer – who probably still has searing memories of untold high school wedgies – as a, ahem “cold-blooded assasin.” Oh, he’d punch his grandma to win a football game alright, but he’s about as cold-blooded as John fucking Starks.

Enjoy your mythology, Gator fans – you have a rare troubador in Orson here. But where you see a cold-blooded capo, the rest of the country sees the neurotic fucker that hides books in the library and studies by himself all weekend to be the top student in his law class.

“Dropped a motherfucking safe” has been added to my vernacular. Oh, for you Vol fans reading, “vernacular” means “the plain variety of language in everyday use by ordinary people.” Your welcome, and pass that moonshine on down heeyah!

That would be “YOU’RE welcome” and I’m gonna go stick my little ole foot in my big ole mouth now.

1. - Can you see the two giant shiny crystal balls that he has? Because they are giant and shiny.
2. - Alex Brown never played vs. Peyton in college. His sack party was his sophomore year in ’99, vs. Tee Martin.

#25….there is no poor like mountain poor……..nothing even close….

1. - no one ever said that the pricks in law school didn’t end up on top.

To put it another way – you’re acting like Urban is Brother Mouzone, which he is not. He’s not Stringer Bell, either: lop 27 inches or so off of String and you have his Croatian doppleganger over there at ’Bama.

What you have, with Urban, is Maurice Levy. Cunning, brilliantly calculating, despicable. Perhaps feared, but respected little. His victories are all the more galling because you know deep down he’s a whiny little fuck.

(By the way, endless fun can be had using The Wire to peg SEC coaches. Les Miles as Hauck; Mark Richt as Daniels; Hello Kiffin as Pryzbylewski (or Ziggy, if you’re feeling especially cruel); Houston Nutt as McNulty (in general train wreck terms); Petrino as The Greek (cold-hearted, amoral, ruthless capitalist, ‘the funny thing is I’m not even Southern’).

Bonus: Pete Carroll as Sen. Clay Matthews; Charlie Weis as Jay Landsman without the funny; and, because I’m a blatant Michigan homer, Rich Rod as Omar (‘unorthodox,’ to put it mildly, and an incongruous shock to the system, but sleep on him and you’re hearing The Farmer in the Dell right before that sawed-off is up under your chin, lawya. Also, because I’m a fanboy, I’ll throw Omar’s Every Man Needs a Code into the mix, because Rod might not be Lloyd Carr, but he still knows from integrity.)

People around here need to lighten the f up.

Geeze.

And someone needs to go to Austin and hold up a “Hello Kiffin” sign.

Tebow has identified himself as superman, he can not be hurt

Tebow has said he will relentlessly punish UT Saturday and there is no way to stop him.

He was heard saying Berry is a joke and not in his class, the coach is an big mouth idiot and the University and team are not even a decent representation of the SEC and it is a joke to even play them this year.

He basically said the fans are trash and they will always remember the punishment he will give them the weekend and he will hurt anyone on the defense who tries to tackle him, and also said he enjoys seeing the fans cry after every play. He said UT fans area bunch of whiners…

Let see if UT has any character at all, this is the worst put down I have ever heard of, and if he does it, Tenn should be ashamed.

“Hate the colors, hate the fight song, we don’t really care. At least we aren’t cousin lovers a la ‘Bama.”

you gave a full scholarship to a guy who RAPED HIS COUSIN. raped. his cousin.

pwned!

Go Gators! And be sure to make it back to Atlanta for the rematch with the Tide. So you can take notes from the real assassin. Oscar Meyer may not go back to making weiners but after a few more years of real domination by Saban he will flee the SEC. Just watch…

Dear Li’l Miss Horn Dog,
Re: Ree-sponse #60
If you can REALLLLY do that, can Ah take yew ayout fo’ uh CoCola? Ah’ll brang sum moonshine tuh put in it….

Well, this was a great read! You sir know how to turn a phrase. I have to say though that the modern SEC is nothing its founders would recognize. It’s hard to believe that the region that is steeped in Biblical mythology and spawned the term Bible Belt has had to watch its marquee football conference selling their souls to a collection of devils that would make any long time member of the La Cosa Nostra proud. SEC coaching searches will now take place in the back of Soldier of Fortune Magazine and may or may not involve the slaying of a goat.

The only thing that would make this whole situation better is if Charlie Weiss was at Auburn. Then the SEC could boast the five biggest assholes in the coaching profession.

I’m still waiting on my Corch shirt. Make this happen. Please.

I still say this is a more apt representation of what will transpire sat on Gainsville this week

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqwIZNECRoU&feature=related