CURIOUS INDEX, 9/11/09

by Orson on Sep 11, 2009 9:55 AM EDT

Tricksy hobbitses. Tech's finest play last night against Dabo Swinney's schizophrenic performance/ongoing internship as head coach came on a fake field goal. Please note that Georgia Tech sneaks Demariyus Thomas on the field at the last second and splits him wide, and that Clemson leaves no one to cover him. Then: Georgia Tech sees pants, likes pants, and takes pants.

Clemson went on to play an excellent second half of football, especially on the part of qb Kyle Parker and the Tiger defensive line, but lost anyway thanks to a near replay of last year's Tech/Clemson game: holding call killing Clemson scoring drive, improbable long pass play from Tech, and game over. That said, if Clemson doesn't come out and give up two special teams TDs, Tech is 0-1 in conference, Clemson looks like the early prime chuck of the ACC, and Paul Johnson calls in his team for a two hour session Saturday consisting of nothing but silent scowling and intense staring. (Clemson post-game thoughts here; GT review, here.)

Nice birds. "Yes, ma'am. I'd like a Texas Tech plate with "I-T-T-I-E-S". Why? Oh, It's an inside joke between me and my hunting buddies. Means nothing."

Florida's not scared of quality non-conference games......we're just skinflints, that's all. Jeremy Foley also buys all his cars at police auction, and thinks you should order a double espresso at Starbucks, ask for a cup of ice, and then pour the espresso in the ice and mix with splenda and skim milk at the condiment stand. Ghetto frappuccino, FTW, the man says.

This weekend's quarry is Troy, the pride of the Sun Belt whose offensive performance in the second half two years ago versus a hapless Florida secondary playing with a huge lead convinced Tommy Tuberville to hire Tony Franklin. You may own us in the 21st century, Auburn, but revenge has a thousand forms. We get it and take off running with it where we can.

Openly Rooting for Ohio State Because We've Always Wanted To Be In A Riot. Eleven Warriors has their preview for the USC game. We'll be in Columbus. Apparently we are supposed to bring suitcases of Bud Light, the local currency for most commercial exchanges of services. We can fit two in our luggage and take one as a carry-on. Please advise on whether this can purchase us a house, or merely a condo, and we will bring more as needed.

Oh, and yes: "Poop" is in the AP style guide.

Ohio State hopes so and says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop.

Dave Barry's legacy grows by the day, because you just read "poop" in a paper.

Hey, Pat.

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Comments

Orson, I’m not a patriotic wonker, nor am I some leftist tree hugger, but I gotta say, on today of all days, that link at the bottom of the index needs to be huge, as a reminder of all our boys & girls who sacrifice everything for us. Also man, to remind us just like those NCAA commercials say, most of these kids we cheer/bemoan for go pro in something else, and Pat went pro on the road less traveled.

by AParker on Sep 11, 2009 10:05 AM EDT reply actions

If the NCAA expanded the schedule to 15 games, Foley would claim that we need 10 home games to pay for the athletic budget since the Cocktail party is at a neutral field. Funny how UGA has the same constraints, including a season ending home and home with an out of conference in-state rival, yet they manage to venture out of state to other BCS schools. I’m afraid that I’ll always have to pay 3/7 of my booster fees and season tickets to see garbage games. Sigh.

by Pig Stabbin Z on Sep 11, 2009 10:23 AM EDT reply actions

Of course the AP style guide references “poop.” I recall many, many Associated Press articles about Al Groh.

Don’t forget to tip your bartenders and wait staff.

by Counter Trap on Sep 11, 2009 10:31 AM EDT reply actions

Orson, did you see that Wes Byrum hit field goals from 47 and 49 yards out? Salt, meet wound…

by Philip on Sep 11, 2009 10:35 AM EDT reply actions

Strunk & White are not amused about this “poop” crap (pun intended). Unless it is used to describe any Chan Gailey offense.

by yoyofutbawl on Sep 11, 2009 10:36 AM EDT reply actions

I have to agree with the guy up first. Make the Tillman link huge, maybe even in place of the banner. The man was old school, a hero in every sense of the word.

by El Kabong!!! on Sep 11, 2009 10:44 AM EDT reply actions

Since I grew up in Ohio, use of the word “poop” and a reference to my home state is unremarkable, but I’m still marveling at the phrase “ghetto frappuccino.”

by DevilGrad on Sep 11, 2009 10:48 AM EDT reply actions

“Tricksey hobbitses”

Cocktails to you sir. Make it a double.

Please plan several spontaneous, one-man “SEC! SEC!” chants while in The Great White North this weekend. And post video of ensuing hilarity.

by BoboIsChanGailey on Sep 11, 2009 11:29 AM EDT reply actions

“Please note that Georgia Tech sneaks Demariyus Thomas on the field at the last second and splits him wide, and that Clemson leaves no one to cover him. Then: Georgia Tech sees pants, likes pants, and takes pants.”

Nick Saban ran this one while he was at Michigan State, sometime between 1996 and 1998, against U of M. Right at the end of the half, too, when the Evil Empire East was up big. Why they weren’t looking for a trick play there, I’m not sure. But they didn’t notice Sedrick Irvin until he was catching the ball with nobody within 25 yards of him.

by witless chum on Sep 11, 2009 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

Isn’t there some rule against subbing someone in at the last second and them not entering the huddle? I think Thomas must have been on with the offense and just never left the field. Probably hung around the sideline until the snap. Man that’s funny.

by Horn Brain on Sep 11, 2009 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

The second most interesting part of that trick play was that the kicker’s spiral was better than the GT’s QB. I never watched anyone shotput a football like Nesbitt did last night.

Plus, I enjoyed Jesse’s impression of Bob Davie.

by hobeg8r on Sep 11, 2009 12:17 PM EDT reply actions

At least Clemson’s staff can make adjustments now. Bowden’s bitchass couldnt do it.

I think we’ll be alright.

by drb on Sep 11, 2009 12:38 PM EDT reply actions

I don’t know what’s better – the use of the word “poop” in that article, or the fact that the guy who wrote that article is named ENCARNACION PYLE.

I will now use that as my alias in all dubious situations where my ID is not requested…

by The Gentleman Masher on Sep 11, 2009 12:53 PM EDT reply actions

After the game, Eightball couldn’t even sleep.

by chg on Sep 11, 2009 12:53 PM EDT reply actions

@ Gentleman Masher

Encarnacion Pyle? Either we have a delightful twist on Ernie Pyle, or we need to have a Great-Names contest for MSM journalists.

Finally, the boring-ass Maureen Dowd and David Brooks would be relegated to the bottom of the (encarnacion) ple.

by Karate Fists and Beans on Sep 11, 2009 2:32 PM EDT reply actions

“We play Florida State every year” only goes so far, especially now that FSU has been down for years. Would a trip out West or North every now and then kill you, Foley? Even Georgia is doing it now.

dem dere Wild Boys have home n’ homes with Oregon, UNC, Ohio State, Nebraska, Oklahoma and USC scheduled.

by etsuVol on Sep 11, 2009 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

A case of Bud Light as carry on? I had no idea that AB sold it in cases of 3 oz. bottles.

by Mark D on Sep 11, 2009 5:44 PM EDT reply actions

[That said, if Clemson doesn’t come out and give up two special teams TDs, ………]

Because that’s BEAMERBALL™ and Special Teams points don’t count unless it’s VT doing it.

by Techie on Sep 11, 2009 8:49 PM EDT reply actions

is correct. Thomas was on the field and “left” with the rest of the guys leaving, only he
stopped before he got to the sideline. He was just shifting.

by gtne91 on Sep 12, 2009 10:21 AM EDT reply actions