SECOND HALF: PUNTFAIL VERSUS SACKBOTS
by Orson on Sep 3, 2009 8:40 PM EDT
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PrintNew thread for second half. Kenny Chesney remains unfairly undevoured by wolves as of 8:40 p.m.
Orson, 8:39 p.m. NC State decides to actually play offense on first two downs. Dana Bible can't keep up this torrid pace, though. It would rob him of the opportunity to call a draw on every third and long.
Orson, 8:46 p.m.: South Carolina must be counting meth traffic to Georgia as "international business." To be fair, Waycross is a country unto itself.
Orson, 8:51 p.m.: Gamecocks left tackle is getting KILLED by WIllie Young. Just obliterated on every pass play.
Orson, 8:55 p.m.: This game is going to end 7-0.
Holly, 9:02: As if on cue, Rece Davis informs us the North Texas - Ball State tilt has racked up precisely the same score.
Holly, 9:05: Why, thank you, WolfWeb: You took the words right from our gaping, glistening maws:
Holly, 9:07: And there's the Garcia INT. He's got you right where he wants you, Wolfpack. (Related, in SpurrierVisorWatch: He's taken it off a couple times, but so far as we can tell has maintained a firm two-handed grip at all times. No hat contact with ground thus far.)
Holly, 9:10: You know what's a whale-lot of fun? Just cataloguing grievous errors instead of points and football plays. You better bring the thunder, Ducks. (...please?)
Orson, 9:16: Please note announcers are leaping over the SEC speed thing in explaining SC killing NC State's offense without a.) crediting NC State for killing SC's tackles all night, and b.) ignoring Dana Bible's shitty offense.
Holly, 9:25: Wait. WAIT. Somebody just said that somebody else was "coaching with excitement and passion tonight"? About THIS game?
Orson, 9:27: Russell Wilson is Jason Campbell minus good coaching.
Orson, 9:31: Don't complain, y'all. Tom O'Brien is just doing what TOB does: run out the clock down by 4.
Orson, 9:38: The 3 yard throw on 3rd and 11 just about sums up this entire offense, which should not be watched while driving or operating other heavy equipment.
Orson, 9:45: /startles from chair. What? No, wasn't sleeping. Not here. /wipesdroolfrom shirt
Orson, 9:46: This drive is all too appropriate: bad punt coverage, pass interference call, pass thrown into double coverage bobbled after double coverage gets blown. Sick donkey fight, continue!
Orson, 9:55: Liveblog on Boise will be LIVE for all the hardcore who made it through this shitheap. You've earned it.
Orson, 9:59: Spurrier's hair spontaneously recolored itself after that long pass. Another three like that and he'll look 42 again.
Orson, 10:02: Atrocity ended. Quick break before the quality entertainment, but kudos to Steven Garcia for pointing and flashing that rapscallion, shit-eating smile running off the field. See you in 15 for the night shift.
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I thought we were going with the shotguns, monster trucks and unstoppable bulldogs somewhere in West Tx for kenny chesney
by pic6bamr on Sep 3, 2009 8:44 PM EDT reply actions
If Indiana doesn’t win tonight, they’re probably going 0-fer. Prognosis: Lionish.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Sep 3, 2009 8:46 PM EDT reply actions
I have a sudden insatiable urge to get some croakies and a white ball cap.
by Jerkwheat on Sep 3, 2009 8:46 PM EDT reply actions
Sounds like I haven’t missed shit, being that I’m stuck at work til 6 and the slingbox is no worky.
I’ll get home in plenty of time to see J.R. Ewing completely go off on Garcia and demoralize him for the next month over a missed pass read when leading 24-3 with 1.47 remaining in the 4th quarter, so I’m good.
Plus, this game is the appetizer, and a pretty shitty appetizer at that- like celery sticks with some zucchini dip. The meat & drink comes later with Stormtroopers v. BlueManGroup.
Is the Chesney commercial that bad? I mean I want to physically harm the dude when I occasionally catch a bit of the “have another beer in Mexi-coooooooh….” Corona ad, but y’all are making it sound like this thing makes that sounds like Coltrane. Nervous for the integrity of my TV screen…
by Kanu on Sep 3, 2009 8:52 PM EDT reply actions
Frequently and without the aid of personal lubricants?
by Jerkwheat on Sep 3, 2009 8:55 PM EDT reply actions
Why does Jesse Palmer keep pimping this game like a shit sandwich salesman? No thank you, sir, I do not want your shit sandwich.
by Arch Stanton on Sep 3, 2009 9:00 PM EDT reply actions
That No. 64 for South Carolina is a double agent, swear to God.
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:02 PM EDT reply actions
Much to my chagrin, I suspect NC State will lose.
But much to my delight, SC looks completely pathetic.
by Magic Hobo on Sep 3, 2009 9:02 PM EDT reply actions
The boll weevil is underappreciated. It took down the south is a year. The Union took 4.
by meg on Sep 3, 2009 9:02 PM EDT reply actions
Well, Spurrier took his visor off. That’s always exciting. He needs a haircut.
Oooooooo! A UNT/Ball State update!!!!
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 9:02 PM EDT reply actions
That Wufpack thing the NC State fans do looks like some sort of ASL distress call.
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:03 PM EDT reply actions
Anyone else really annoyed by the randomly placed logo on the 35? Also, don’t make it upside down for the cameras.
things to ponder during a 7-0 game…
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:05 PM EDT reply actions
D lineman makes a great catch on a pick and then a WR drops a screen. Nice
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:06 PM EDT reply actions
Yes, Husker. That’s driving me batty too.
So…..anyone going to be able to stay up for the frolicking on the Smurf Turf?
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 9:07 PM EDT reply actions
Anybody else think Russell Wilson resembles a tall Reggie Ball?
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:08 PM EDT reply actions
McDonough has dropped “penetration” and “banged” in the last 2 minutes
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:08 PM EDT reply actions
@ Husker – Take two drinks, my friend.
“Glad he banged him out of bounds” In bounds, out of bounds…it’s all good. Chesney likes it.
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 9:11 PM EDT reply actions
fumble reversed!!!! whoa Nellie, we got a good ol’ fashoined donnybrook
by RayCom Roy on Sep 3, 2009 9:13 PM EDT reply actions
just easing into the football season… don’t want to get everyone too excited right out of the gate
by JMUDave on Sep 3, 2009 9:15 PM EDT reply actions
@23 wilson is supposed to be the same height (5’11) as reggie
by kizzak on Sep 3, 2009 9:16 PM EDT reply actions
9:16 EST – ESPN has fulfilled their commitment to mention UF at least once every half hour. When will it come in the 9:30-10:00 time slot?
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:17 PM EDT reply actions
I agree with Chesney, it is time to blow up the WWL
by kizzak on Sep 3, 2009 9:19 PM EDT reply actions
TIME TO BLOW IT UP
TIME TO LOCK AND LOAAAD
you have no idea how true this is, Kenny.
by Jerkwheat on Sep 3, 2009 9:20 PM EDT reply actions
“This is our moment…this is our time.” Hey, it’s catching on!
NO IT’S NOT, NO IT’S NOT!!!!!!!!!! (kills self)
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 9:21 PM EDT reply actions
Maybe that’s his signal that he’s been forced to sing against his will all this time and he is requesting someone come and rescue him from such a fate
by kizzak on Sep 3, 2009 9:21 PM EDT reply actions
@29 Yeah, but Wilson looks 6 feet tall. Reggie lied about his height; he was about 5-9. And he played 5-6. Scrappy and occasionally fun to watch, like a pit Chihuahua, but ultimately ineffectual.
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:22 PM EDT reply actions
please, don’t bring back memories I locked away by describing his play
by kizzak on Sep 3, 2009 9:23 PM EDT reply actions
Reggie Ball was sometimes fun to watch for UGA fans, that’s it.
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:23 PM EDT reply actions
I hate having to remind myself that old people live above me every time I yell “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE” when Stephen Garcia throws a shitty pass
by Grimey on Sep 3, 2009 9:26 PM EDT reply actions
Reggie was faster than Wilson though, he never got caught from behind over and over like this. Wilson makes way better decisions throwing the ball though, Reggie thought he was the sex cannon or something.
by Nathan on Sep 3, 2009 9:27 PM EDT reply actions
less than 300 combined yards and under 21 points total in the 4th, are we sure Chan Gailey isn’t coaching one of these two teams?
by kizzak on Sep 3, 2009 9:31 PM EDT reply actions
Good to see that Jesse Palmer read the “hey we spent $2 billion fellate the SEC the entire game” memo.
by JacketDan on Sep 3, 2009 9:31 PM EDT reply actions
If NC State can find a way to get a safety and this game ends 7-5, I’ll be utterly convinced of Chan Gailey’s involvement.
by Jerkwheat on Sep 3, 2009 9:34 PM EDT reply actions
This game is getting good only because it is almost over…
But hell, just good to be watching football again.
by dudis41 on Sep 3, 2009 9:37 PM EDT reply actions
Poor McDonough, just HOPING and BEGGING for a fake.
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:38 PM EDT reply actions
Somewhere, Paul Johnson just watched that punt, smirked and shifted his enormous nutsack to a more comfortable position.
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:39 PM EDT reply actions
Any body see Sly Croom and/or Tuberville tonight? Just wondering…
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:41 PM EDT reply actions
This was the same conservative playcalling TOB and Bible used with Matt Ryan – Matt Freaking Ryan! – as their QB.
It really wasn’t sour grapes from BC fans when they left town…
by xhack on Sep 3, 2009 9:43 PM EDT reply actions
From the mouth of Garcia: “Looking while running is overrated.”
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:45 PM EDT reply actions
I am highly disappointed with the Oregon unis. Was looking forward to highlighter yellow on the blue turf.
Wanted to test out the new tv’s capabilities.
by Wes Tex on Sep 3, 2009 9:45 PM EDT reply actions
Um, hello? He changed goddamn direction? The refs have fallen asleep.
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 9:46 PM EDT reply actions
OK, I was at the Swindle in the Swamp in 03. I am still convinced those refs were under orders. And yet nothing in that game comes close to that call. What the hell.
by TJ on Sep 3, 2009 9:48 PM EDT reply actions
Of course he dropped it. It literally hit him in the chest.
by Seven Years in Gainesville on Sep 3, 2009 9:48 PM EDT reply actions
BTW, that umpire is the fattest football official I’ve ever seen. Baseball umpires look at him, and say, “Dude, mix in a salad.” Props, though, for being able to run that much, while being that big.
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:49 PM EDT reply actions
You all are still hanging in there? You have more tolerance than me… I flipped over just in time to see everyone run off the field while the announcers said neither team has 100 yards of offense. That was my cue.
by JD on Sep 3, 2009 9:50 PM EDT reply actions
Did somebody pass a note to Dana Bible letting him know that you can throw the ball down field?
by JacketDan on Sep 3, 2009 9:50 PM EDT reply actions
TOB calling the TO to set up the punt coverage here?
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:50 PM EDT reply actions
That call was so bad it made the ref spontaneously bleed out of his head
by Hawkeye State on Sep 3, 2009 9:51 PM EDT reply actions
So will Holly have the “Baby I’m Burning” Youtube video up tonight, or will we have to wait till tomorrow?
by TJ on Sep 3, 2009 9:52 PM EDT reply actions
Need more Umpires calling the game with blood all over their face.
by sonofsamford on Sep 3, 2009 9:52 PM EDT reply actions
So dramatic and yet still only one touchdown. Can’t wait for my Red Raiders.
by Wes Tex on Sep 3, 2009 9:54 PM EDT reply actions
Our worst nightmare looks out of reach – no OT
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 9:54 PM EDT reply actions
The two-minute warning is upon us. Thank you, Jeebus.
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 9:55 PM EDT reply actions
Who the hell gave Jesse Palmer a sensible necktie
by Grimey on Sep 3, 2009 9:56 PM EDT reply actions
Will he make a good decision?
Bwahahahahaha
by Smyrna Tiger on Sep 3, 2009 9:58 PM EDT reply actions
@73. The WHAT is upon us? NFL heretic, GET. OUT!
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 9:58 PM EDT reply actions
I can’t believe we all waited eight months for this horseshit.
by JD on Sep 3, 2009 9:59 PM EDT reply actions
Ironically, Palmer’s tie got skinnier and he got fatter.
by Wes Tex on Sep 3, 2009 10:00 PM EDT reply actions
You know all the vaccines they’re manufacturing right now to counter ACC Football Fever? I think they can go ahead and concentrate on swine flu.
by Golden Hand on Sep 3, 2009 10:00 PM EDT reply actions
I would normally make my standard, “This looks like a Ravens-Texans” game joke, but a touchdown was scored, so I can’t.
by Husker4MU on Sep 3, 2009 10:00 PM EDT reply actions
One TD. And on a 10 yard drive. ESS EEE SEE OFFENSE WOO!!!
by TJ on Sep 3, 2009 10:01 PM EDT reply actions
Um, yeah, um, I wasn’t flipping back and forth to the NFL pre-season games…this stupendous college matchup held my attention for all four quarters.
by Miss Horn Dawg on Sep 3, 2009 10:01 PM EDT reply actions
Just saw Erin Andrews for the first time and I kind of had to avert my eyes. Not completely away from the screen, but still… averted my eyes.
by JD on Sep 3, 2009 10:03 PM EDT reply actions
Were the 2 troopers standing there for Spurrier or for EA?
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Sep 3, 2009 10:04 PM EDT reply actions
“I thought it was a beautiful game.” – Lou Holtz.
OK, the Notre Dame thing I could kind of ignore, but really Lou? REALLY?
by TJ on Sep 3, 2009 10:06 PM EDT reply actions
OK, this has to be some kind of misprint. There’s no way North Texas is in the 4th quarter of a football game and the other team has less than 45 points.
by JD on Sep 3, 2009 10:09 PM EDT reply actions
Pontiac Fireducks lookin’ fierce, as usual.
by Allahver Fist on Sep 3, 2009 10:12 PM EDT reply actions
Can I just say that when I’m on my death bed, I’ll think back to the South Carolina vs. NC State game, and wish that I had those three hours back.
by Lawrence on Sep 3, 2009 10:14 PM EDT reply actions
Did anyone just hear LOOOUUU say, “Both teams will contend for their conference champoinships?”
He got laughed down. GOD help him. And HIS SON TEBOW. Maybe there is hope for the ESPN stoodio crew.
WHAT A BAD F’IN GAME. Russell Wilson Cosby seemed to have had no idea of ESS EEE CEE speed. And USChikin behaved as usual. Cluckin f’up after nother.
But Stephen Gilmore be DA MAN. Clempsons should notta fired TB until later.
by yoyofutbawl on Sep 3, 2009 10:19 PM EDT reply actions
@81- Those ESS-EEE-SEE offenses were plenty good enough to go 2-0 against the shiny Big 12 pointsplosions last bowl season. I’m guessing NC State will look a lot better when they play ACC defenses.
by chg on Sep 4, 2009 12:34 AM EDT reply actions
South Carolinas Defense: Good.
South Carolinas Offense: A crime against football.
Seeing Villanova nail first 1-AA over 1-A win (over Temple but still): Interesting.
Seeing North Texas actually win a game: Kudos to them.
Seeing Oregons Tailback actually deliver the right hook ass whoppin’: Not surprising in the least.
On a sidenote, Utah State will be better. They put up a good showing against Utah.
by Hog In The Hills on Sep 4, 2009 1:56 AM EDT reply actions
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