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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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1
GamecockTony says:
A couple of quick announcements before we conclude today’s service.
One, would the owner of the cardinal red Mercedes – bumper sticker “Surf or Die” and license tag “LIFEWINR” please refrain from parking in the fire lane. This is your third and final warning.
Two, please remember to attend next week’s Pancake Breakfast. All funds go to support the ACC Stadium Expansion program.
/moves to front of altar
/sprinkles congregation with bourbon
In the name of the Father, Pop Warner
/sprinkles congregation with scotch
In the name of the Sonny Lubick
/sprinkles congregation with beer
In the name of The Galloping Ghost
Let us pray.
Dear Football Gods,
May all our quarterbacks remain healthy, our running backs remain academically eligible and our coaches off the proverbial “hot seat”.
Most importantly, may all our tailgates remain cloud and police-free. The latter allowing the underage coeds among us to freely drink of the beverages of the Earth you have graced us with, without fear of repercussions.
Now, please join Mrs. Kiffin in singing today’s exit hymn, 5-7 in your hymnal, “Shall we gather at the (Tennessee) river?”.
Our service has ended; let us go eat 8-piece.
/makes signal for “Personal Foul, Roughing the Passer”
AraParseghian, AraParseghian
Amen.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:00 am
2
BurritoBrosShits says:
Fuck, my hair just caught on fire. ITS GAMEDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:13 am
3
Son of Zoltan says:
Glitter,glisten
gloss,floss
I catch a beat running like Randy Moss
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:14 am
4
Raider Red says:
FOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:16 am
5
Tim says:
Can we get a time estimate for the Fulmer Cup writeup so I don’t just refresh the page all day?
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:21 am
6
She Blinded Me With Violence says:
/tardstruts
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:24 am
7
xhack says:
I’m even thankful for the visual puke explosion that is Oregon’s unis on the Smurf Turf tonight.
FOOOTBAW!!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:25 am
8
haybeav says:
I LiiiiiIIIIKKKKEEEE
(borat voice)
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 am
9
cob says:
My bowels just violently emptied in eager anticipation of the damage to be done in the near future to my digestive track.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:32 am
10
RayCom Roy says:
and so tonight the world spins on greased grooves again
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:32 am
11
TJ says:
@1
In Tebow’s name we pray, Amen.
/FOOBAW!!!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:38 am
12
justanotherbuckeye says:
Tonight, and tonight only, Troy v. Bowling Green means something…………………….
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:40 am
13
Barbecue Hashmark says:
Over/under on flung visors tonight: 2.
I’ll take over; don’t harsh our buzz, Stephen Garcia.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:42 am
14
Jack Fact says:
I’m vibrating, and for once it’s not due to the DTs.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:46 am
15
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
Dear Footbaw Gods: If you spare my corneas tonight and deliver the goods in the late ESPN game, I’ll stop delivery of that kitten’s head in a box to Greg Paulus.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:51 am
16
fluffy_bunny_feet says:
Any chance Stephen Garcia makes it to the 2nd half?
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:55 am
17
spartanmike says:
I am very, very happy today. No longer untethered, adrift…
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
18
Raleigh Urbain says:
Pitchfork says “B.O.B.” is the best song of the decade. I fear disagreeing with them would result in a mind-numbing retort full of references to Pavement, Eno, skinny jeans, and the influences of the post-album musical generation.
In true SEC game day fashion, I will spend my day listening to an inexplicable mix of 90’s hip hop and 70’s country.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:09 am
19
the ex-croominator says:
YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*rips off clothes, paints self in school colors, streaks through Drill Field ringing cowbell (and I’m not even a State fan, just work here) and shouting Hotty Toddy and Rammer Jammer, gets tackled by bicycle campus police, explains to dean later why she should still be considered for tenure*
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 am
20
Grady says:
Wow, football is this close at hand? You couldn’t tell it by listening to Raleigh sports radio. Yesterday we had the pleasure of listening to discussion about round-ball scheduling in the morning and, in for those rabid, southern hockey fans, we listened to Carolina Hurricanes update. Hip hip hooray for living in ACC country!
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:48 am
21
zzgator says:
I take this as a sign from above…Outkast to begin the season…I have a lovely pic of myself with Andre Benjamin in the Scottsdale Denny’s following the Buckeye depantsing.
Sweet.
(Needless to say, my parents had no idea who he was.)
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:48 am
22
This Guy says:
I’m so jacked right now. If you cut me, my blood would kick your ass and sleep with your sister because FOOTBALL, BITCH.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:55 am
23
msufan says:
I was wondering how I was going to make it till five o’clock today so I could run home and light the grill….Thank you for BOB…I will now spend the rest of the day making reconciling statements and making journal entries to the spectacular sounds of Outcast, Usher, Beastie Boys, Kanye, TI and quite possbily a Chingy song. Then i will fill the last thirty minutes with Mitch Hedberg just so I don’t have to think and can sit at my desk and giggle.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:05 am
24
Tebow=JesusChrist says:
THANK MOTHERFUCKING GOD!!!!…FOOTBALL IS HERE!
I just received my unemployment check in the mail today…and I’m putting it ALL on South Carolina +5. Don’t let me down Ol’ Ball Coach!
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:36 am
25
Iggy says:
@7 Shit I didn’t even think about that…. Ohh god is that going to SUCK out loud!
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 am
26
CA Dawg says:
Much love to the house for getting us through to this glorious, glorious day. We couldn’t have done it without you.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
27
MIss Horn Dawg says:
Is it wrong to love this day more than the day when the Baby Jeebus was born? Because I do.
Is it wrong to want a toddy in red solo cup RIGHT FREAKING NOW even though it’s not yet noon? Because I do.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
28
Mickey Underpants says:
HOLY SHIT!!! IT”S FINALLY TIME!!! FOOTBAW IS HERE!!!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:58 pm