CURIOUS INDEX, 9/3/2009

by Orson on Sep 3, 2009 10:07 AM EDT

Available soon in a gift shop that doesn't mind selling shirts full of copyright infringement: Josh heard our request for a "Three Holtz Moon" t-shirt, and like so much else on the internet, it simply came to be:

You live in an age of wonders, and do not forget it.

Just a knee, folks. He does have two of them. Jermaine Gresham has done something bad to his knee, and will likely not play against BYU, who Oklahoma will still paste by thirty points. The early read on the knee is vague, but the words "Anterior Cruciate Ligament" do not appear anywhere near this report. If you have a meniscus you'd like to donate to Jermaine Gresham, the University of Oklahoma athletic offices are ready when you are.

Jones, Ingram: cleared by the NCAA despite BEING ON A BOAT MOTHERFUCKER. Jones and Ingram must repay the cost of the Gulf Coast trip themselves, and all is well per the NCAA. Both will play against Virginia Tech, though Brandon Deaderick is a "probably will not play" after being shot in the arm. It's the "probably" in that sentence that gives it the whiff of being unmistakably badass, as in "Hey, if we really need him we can put in the guy who was shot this week."

Media Whoring, long form: We're on the Deadspin Podcast with Drew this a.m. doing the hater's guide to the top 25. Like many chickenshit Yankees who don't understand football or spicy living, he thinks Texas students surfing the elevators in Austin is a bad idea. In an even loopier appearance, we get extremely tangential with Dan Levy in the On the DL Podcast, where we ponder the delicious awkward of Tim Tebow's Hebrew and Muslim others. ("Mohammad al-Tebayii.")

Evil Richt is disappointed. There will be no pre-game handshake between Oklahoma State and Georgia, meaning no pre-game Dawg Dance Parties for you, Evil Richt and Trinton Sturdivant.

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You can tell that “the South” as a concept makes Dan Levy uncomfortable.

by ChasingMizzou on Sep 3, 2009 10:12 AM EDT reply actions

Good news that the NCAA speedily cleared the Alabama players who appeared to be doing a disabled guy a favor.

In the meantime the NCAA has 6 signed affidavits sitting on their desk saying Mike Balogun did NOT play after turning 21. Their response? “In light of the 6 signed legal documents in favor of Balogun and the 1 account of Internet hearsay against, we will have a decision on Mr. Balogun’s eligibility ready in… ummm… four months.”

by CincySooner on Sep 3, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

I must have that t-shirt

by Kevin@LSU on Sep 3, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

Maybe Ingram and Jones were just there to cut bait. I just wish the NCAA would put their efforts into a playoff system for football than worrrying about the catch of the day.

by Crabapple Buck on Sep 3, 2009 10:22 AM EDT reply actions

the day has finally arrived…..

I am in my 3-point stance and will stay there till the first hike of the ball this evening

go college football, yay!!!

by WarChiziken on Sep 3, 2009 10:23 AM EDT reply actions

Orson,

Kudos to you for the Wall Street Journal quote yesterday, even if they did screw up the affiliation. Do you lose any blogger cred for being quoted in the mainest of main stream media’s?

by BennyBeav on Sep 3, 2009 10:28 AM EDT reply actions

I can’t believe you called the Jesuit-educated geeky, Spencer. By the way, did you hear the one about God’s five proofs that St. Thomas Aquinas exists?

/wedgies self

by xhack on Sep 3, 2009 10:32 AM EDT reply actions

If Deaderick starts, HEAP BIG MEDICINE.

by arlo on Sep 3, 2009 10:36 AM EDT reply actions

Translation….

Deaderick: Coach, I lost alot of blood the other day. I’m not so sure I oughta sit this one out Saturday.

Saban:Take two Little Debbies and a shot of OJ. Then you can run 20 gassers for being so goddamn lazy.

by Marijuana Simpson on Sep 3, 2009 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

And they have to return the hookers – don’t forget that. UA can put them on a bus back down to the coast, Midnight Cowboy style.
And can I get that shirt as a Windows 98 theme?

by SH on Sep 3, 2009 11:10 AM EDT reply actions

WarChizikin – hopefully you (and AU’s current linemen) won’t stand up and turn towards the sideline several times before every play as our lineman did last year…

by Beef on Sep 3, 2009 11:24 AM EDT reply actions

Ah Beef—

Minus 10 for an incomplete response. The offense turned to the sideline, received the play and then ran a trap play up the middle which Brad Lester fumbled.

by Counter Trap on Sep 3, 2009 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

Cris Doering has an interesting website of his own:

www.mygatormortgage.com. Go for a TD with this Alt-A loan.

The Shipley comparison was interesting. Both are white WRs. Yep, that is about it.

by Coop on Sep 3, 2009 11:43 AM EDT reply actions

Orson, I hope you were wearing proper hater attire:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/0C7R5zWimZM/SQiSt3axk-I/AAAAAAAAAZQ/wrWj9WA0DhA/s320/silkyjohnson1%5B1%5D.JPG

by Sam @ WWAHT on Sep 3, 2009 11:46 AM EDT reply actions

OMG says…
This shirt cured my AIDS!

Admin@everythingholtz says…
There is no way our shirt cured AIDS.

by ed on Sep 3, 2009 11:53 AM EDT reply actions

Orson, by this list, you are akin to St. Paul preaching the CF good word to the masses. Lord Saban works in mysterious ways indeed.

FYI, Beano Cook on one of the ESPN podcasts mentioned that no one from Harvard will ever understand big time college football. By “Harvard”, methinks one can extrapolate “privileged elitists from the northeast”. Thus explaining why the deadspin types never seem to be able to wrap their heads around things that kickass like college football and explosions.

by meatybob on Sep 3, 2009 1:28 PM EDT reply actions

@ 16

Replace, “privileged elitists,” with “mainly guys who went to schools you have never heard of academically or athletically, except for losing in the 1st Round of the NCAA Tournament” and you are dead on.

The guy who went to W&L or Davidson often follows college football as closely as the Georgia or FSU alum, via, on both counts, a successful Pops/Grandpops who attended State School U a long time ago.

Because, when you are sitting in the shade, often times it is because somebody else planted the tree.

/Warren Buffett’d

// Oh God, I did that “/” thing.

by Coop on Sep 3, 2009 2:31 PM EDT reply actions