COME NOODLE AND LOVE WITH ME

by Orson on Sep 2, 2009 12:08 PM EDT

Throw to your wide receiver flying across the water at 40 mph all you like: the real wonder is in the clip above, where Tulsa's Mike Bryan demonstrates the time-honored Okie fishing method of noodling, also known as "fishing for non-pussies." Someday this concept will expand to grouper, tuna, and if you're a real man, sharks. Take footage, send post-haste plz in Youtube-ready format.

The real miracle in there is Bryan's girlfriend, Brittany, who not only goes out there with him, but is county fair hot and actually likes wrestling with fish for fun.

"I'd rather come out noodling than go out to eat and the movies," Brittany says.

If we hadn't already proposed, married, and had a wonderful relationship with a woman who knows how to properly dose the tranq dart fired from a blowgun that puts us out every Saturday night, Brittany would be be choice 1a for Madame Swindle. A woman who will watch the air bubbles while you fight a giant mutant catfish at the bottom of an Oklahoma lake is a special, special woman indeed. Promise her anything, sir, and never let her get away from you. (HT: Smoking Musket.

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…a woman who knows how to properly dose the tranq dart fired from a blowgun that puts us out every Saturday night…

I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext… I will not read into subtext…

by CincySooner on Sep 2, 2009 12:19 PM EDT reply actions

I was wondering what TCOAN was going to make of that line. I know my wife would not be pleased.

by beattherush on Sep 2, 2009 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

Hush now. It’s literally a blowgun with a dart, and it’s loaded with vodka and thorazine.

by Orson Swindle on Sep 2, 2009 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

Yep, those types are few and far between. 100 cocktails to Brittany, and 1 beer for the catfish she just threw in the boat.

by ALGator on Sep 2, 2009 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

So “blowgun” is the new term for a gin and tonic with a Xanax chaser, eh? Kids these days…

(and to commenters 1 and 2, I thought the same thing and immediately went to IM to laugh at Orson’s delicate sensibilities.)

by TCOAN on Sep 2, 2009 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

I’m from the Northeast – what is county fair hot?

by DanF on Sep 2, 2009 12:47 PM EDT reply actions

DanF, #6 …

I think “county fair hot” is the same thing as what I call “Six Flags good-lookin’”: hot (at least, definitely doable), but in a trashy (whether vague or overt), tailer-park way. I’m open to being corrected, though.

by NCT on Sep 2, 2009 1:18 PM EDT reply actions

What NCT said, but I’d go with “Jersey Shore Hot.”

by Jack Fact on Sep 2, 2009 1:29 PM EDT reply actions

Is that a scar on his chest, or an NPHC-style brand of the Chinese symbol for “making up for in balls what is lacking in common sense”?

by jakldawg on Sep 2, 2009 1:32 PM EDT reply actions

Being from Iowa, yes… Brittany is “country fair hot”… we have them in Iowa, but they are more used to wrestling cows, pigs… Iowa Point Guards, Gopher power forwards equipped with the Yellow Pages, but then again we need more heartwarming stories like this about college football….. let me tell you watching her noodle warms the cockles :-)

by The Holy Grail on Sep 2, 2009 2:02 PM EDT reply actions

Is he in a black fraternity? Or is that team-building at Tulsa? Or did he learn a painful lesson about combining alcohol and livestock branding?

by Coop on Sep 2, 2009 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

I onth trith with a fith and it bit my tongue.

by Sweet Lou Holtthsss on Sep 2, 2009 2:24 PM EDT reply actions

#8 – Perfectly explained – thanks./

by DanF on Sep 2, 2009 4:34 PM EDT reply actions

Speaking of “country fairs,” the state of Texas once again proves that nobody does state fair food with the gusto that Texas does:

http://cbs11tv.com/food/Unique.Fried.Foods.2.1157330.html

The big buzz this year is about the newest deep fried delicacy: fried butter.

Every 5th person who attends the state fair wins a complimentary quadruple bypass.

by Diamond M on Sep 2, 2009 5:49 PM EDT reply actions

I’m vegetarian, and even I think this is pretty awesome.
Hunting barehanded… now that’s a fair fight.

by Jigga on Sep 3, 2009 2:53 AM EDT reply actions

I’m impressed that he’s a linebacker at a Div IA school (albeit the smallest) with a noticeable lack of defined muscularity. I’m just sayin’… Looks like he needs to be lifting something heavier than a catfish or occasionally the delectable Brittany. OBTW—perfect “county fair hot” name!

by EdHoo on Sep 3, 2009 9:24 AM EDT reply actions