FULMER CUPDATE: GARY PINKEL SUFFERS NO FOOLS

by Orson on Sep 1, 2009 11:33 AM EDT

This is so wonderful you'll have to click over to see it, but TNIAAM goes far toward proving that blogging about a bad football team is usually far more entertaining than blogging about a good football team. Or, failing that, blogging about football players doing stupid things against the laws of most municipalities, states, nations, and common sense in general.

Segway! Segue! Thing transitioning you from one topic to another!

LAST MINUTE FULMER CUPDATES

Gary Pinkel will send you to hell, child. "Future Chase Daniel" Blaine Dalton now becomes "future D-11 quarterback" with his dismissal from Missouri for an on-campus DWI. The incident is the second incident for Dalton, who was charged with driving with an open container earlier this summer. He also had a third incident where no charges were filed when pills belonging to a friend were found in his car, so three made a trend for Pinkel, who gave his qb of the future the boot from campus. (Soft boot or hard boot remains to be seen; he may be able to get back on the team with good behavior and time, but DWI with no style points (i.e. hitting a donkey, ridiculously high BAC, etc.) gets you two points in the Fulmer Cup.

Stealing Georgia's thunder already. Oklahoma State is already attempting to pre-empt Georgia scoring, and is doing it by biting their style, too: senior DB Perrish Cox pulled a page from the Bulldog playbook by picking up a measly one-point suspended license charge in Stillwater. Let us congratulate the Dawgs, btw, on an offseason free of license-related foolishness or other driving charges. Either they hired the driving paperwork coordinator we'd always said they needed, or more likely than not someone performed an exorcism to rid the roads of the spirit of Mudcat Elmore's car. For the 20 Georgia fans who got that reference: you're welcome.

The Fulmer Cup ends at noon on Wednesday. If anyone's going to rob a bank or pistol-whip an elephant, now's the time to do these things.

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The first outtake clip from that commercial is, somehow, even funnier than the commercial itself. “I love Jesus too! And Marrone! Marrone is Jesus!”

by JD on Sep 1, 2009 11:55 AM EDT reply actions

Just so you don’t feel unappreciated-I got the Mudcat reference-loved it!

by nosleevesdawg on Sep 1, 2009 12:01 PM EDT reply actions

I think Bobby Louder already took care of the bank-robbing part for the Auburn folks..

by hobeg8r on Sep 1, 2009 12:05 PM EDT reply actions

We can only hope someone goes balls-out and robs an elephant at this point.
I’m looking at you Stephen Garcia.

by GamecockTony on Sep 1, 2009 12:25 PM EDT reply actions

Let’s be serious O, it’s always the time to pistol whip an elephant.

by NDEddieMac on Sep 1, 2009 12:26 PM EDT reply actions

@ 2

Hiiiiiiiiii-oooooooooo

[end ed mcmahon impression]

by haybeav on Sep 1, 2009 12:28 PM EDT reply actions

I was hoping foor the poor soul at the end of the commercial to be in a ND shirt.

by yoyofutbawl on Sep 1, 2009 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

[Breaks out the Britannica]

Let’s see… Mudflap, muddle, “muddin’”… No Mudcat. Damn…

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Good to see we actually can stay out of trouble an entire offseason though.

by Red and Black on Sep 1, 2009 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

Marquis’ ride was sweet, but it wasn’t as bare-bones as the bicycle that Reggie Brown would regularly ride past my house on.

by Sutpen on Sep 1, 2009 12:44 PM EDT reply actions

Reggie’s bike was awesome. Thomas Davis had the best non-booster funded automobile in Athens. It was an 86 Cutlass painted like a Georgia helmet, rollin’ on dubs. But nothing can top Herschel’s Smokey and the Bandit edition ’79 Firebird.

I’ll take part of the blame on Mudcat’s car’s spirit haunting Lumpkin Street. Mudcat was a regular attendee at my fraternity’s parties on Riverbend Road. Seeing four creamies hold up Mudcat to do a kegstand was quite a sight. Seeing him get in the car to drive downtown afterwards was even better.

by Jason on Sep 1, 2009 1:04 PM EDT reply actions

What makes this even funnier to me is that I know a player on Mizzou. He says that they are all familiar with what the Fulmer Cup is and for what it stands.

by Crabapple Buck on Sep 1, 2009 1:26 PM EDT reply actions

The Spirit of Mudcat’s Car is now roaming The Land of the Trembling Earth back home in Train Town, far, far away from Athens and all its worldly distractions. And it needs to stay down there….this has been a gloriously boring fall camp so far.

by Bobby Decatur on Sep 1, 2009 1:36 PM EDT reply actions

Pistol whipping an elephant, should it happen, deserves an infinite number of Fulmer Cup Points and the player’s mug shot permanently displayed above the EDSBS banner, with cherubim playing trumpets around him.

by GTSteve on Sep 1, 2009 2:01 PM EDT reply actions

I don’t care what the police reports say, “Blaine Dalton” was dismissed for abusing and humiliating Molly Ringwald at the prom until she was saved by a gimpish, purple-haired Jon Cryer, all with a Simple Minds backbeat.

by Double Dawg Dare Ya on Sep 1, 2009 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

I know the Cougs need something big to pull this out but here is a point or two for the pile:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/collegesports/2009737864_grid26.html

by CenTex Coug on Sep 1, 2009 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

UGA gave their whole team red scooters. I don’t know if this is the first year they’ve done it or not, but it’s my first year of grad school on campus, and I see em scootin out of the practice field. It’s pretty hilarious to see huge dudes on little mopeds

by MightyMightyMitzu on Sep 1, 2009 7:33 PM EDT reply actions

“but TNIAAM goes far toward proving that blogging about a bad football team is usually far more entertaining than blogging about a good football team”…… ahhhh didn’t Clay Travis teach us that?

by Sean on Sep 1, 2009 10:11 PM EDT reply actions

So what’s the deal with my alma mater? Did USF close the deal and win a Fulmer Cup before they win any other kind of championship? Or is Hawaii still tied with them?

by JD on Sep 1, 2009 11:10 PM EDT reply actions