CURIOUS INDEX, 9/1/2009

by Orson on Sep 1, 2009 10:21 AM EDT

Don't tell anyone:...but LSU's facilities make Kublai Khan look like a brokeass dude with a donkey and tin crown.

The indoor facility looks sturdy. (LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION JERRY JONES.)

Alabama DE shot. First news: Brandon Deaderick is fine, and is recovering from gunshot wounds to the arm and leg this morning following a robbery attempt at an off-campus apartment complex in Tuscaloosa. You could read the following information from the AP, but it will cost you $758 dollars.

Deaderick did not know the man, who pointed a gun and said "Give it up," Anderson said. When Deaderick refused, the assailant fired the gun, striking the player in the arm, the chief said. Police were searching for the shooter.

In the arm? Someone's been watching the World Series of Dice skit, and took notes on how to avoid the attempted murder charge. Deaderick is in good condition, and will be released within a day most likely. Deaderick is the starting defensive end, and is a key part of the Alabama defensive line. Virginia Tech still won't have an established tailback, so the injury still won't really give VT a chance of scoring more than twenty in this game without turnovers handed to them by Alabama, since Tyrod Taylor alone is not enough of a threat to knock anyone in the Saban Cover 2 out of position for a big play. Speedy recovery to Deaderick, though, who will get his Badassery merit badge easily for coming back to play this year from not one, but two gunshots. (Roll Bama Roll has your necessary VT defensive preview here. Bud Foster makes the 5-2 flex look oh-so-pretty.)

Mike Gundy's not motivated by revenge. That's what he says, meaning he is, though if you argue that point he would likely tell you that is complete garbidge.

Bobby Petrino is a crap milkman. Bobby Petrino was a milk deliveryman, something possibly explaining the number of strategically brilliant but faithless children with ruddy complexions along rural routes in Montana. We all get to find this out because Petrino is in a good mood leading up to game one, and because he is taking a page from the Nick Saban 2007 book by exposing his HUGH-MANN side to reporters to win their favorable coverage.

We might take it easier on him not because he is human, but because he once did something this completely metal:

Before taking questions, Petrino talked a bit about his youth, particularly the various jobs he worked growing up. He told one amusing story about when he was a milkman and had to deliver to a house on a hill. He set the emergency brake, delivered the milk, turned around and ...

"There was the truck, rolling down the hill," Petrino said. "It was rolling right at two cars, and I took off running. At that time, I could still run a little bit, and I got there. I caught the truck. Only problem is, I went out the passenger side. The driver side door was shut.

"So I just stood there and watched a little bit, prayed a little bit, and it turned left, veered across the street, went down through the ditch, hit a telephone pole, snapped the telephone pole in half.

This is as good a summary of his time with the Falcons, metaphorically speaking, as one could possibly find.

Donna Shalala was wrong. Willie Williams, likely on the bench for a while, legally and life-speaking.

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Deaderick’s a key part of the Alabama offensive line?

by gosouthgohard on Sep 1, 2009 10:26 AM EDT reply actions

Goddammit. Corrected.

by Orson Swindle on Sep 1, 2009 10:30 AM EDT up reply actions

I’ve been to the Jaguars practice facility a few times. Needless to say our broke-ass NFL team is chicken shit to LSU. Its like comparing a mansion to a lean-to.

by BurritoBrosShits on Sep 1, 2009 10:46 AM EDT reply actions

When I think of Xanadu-esque training facilities I have to default to the Ducks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1NyaTVUhFQ

by joepatrice on Sep 1, 2009 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

I wonder where Les Miles stores his hat?…I would assume in that giant indoor facility, but I didn’t see it anywhere

by haybeav on Sep 1, 2009 10:51 AM EDT reply actions

All those gold-paved trinkets and gadgets for a 7-5 team? Welcome to the SEC, where of course the offensive linemen know how to work the remote camera high atop the Taj Indoor Practice Mahal.

by decemberist on Sep 1, 2009 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

Of course he’s in good condition. Saban puts his defense to the firing squad at the end of each practice. Toughens ’em up.

by She Blinded Me With Violence on Sep 1, 2009 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

@5… the indoor facility is really les miles’ hat

by Kevin@LSU on Sep 1, 2009 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

@ 4

Is that a bunch of 10 year olds hanging out in the hot tub at the 0:24 second mark?

by haybeav on Sep 1, 2009 10:55 AM EDT reply actions

There are NFL teams with lamer facilities. That video crushes any argument that college football is an amateur sport. Mitch Albom’s outrage is palpable.

by GTSteve on Sep 1, 2009 10:59 AM EDT reply actions

Where is the Duck’s trophy case?

by chuy on Sep 1, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

LSU can thank Nick Saban for those facilities. I wanna see the “Before” pics before the Saban EXTREME MAKEOVER When Jerry D. had the reigns, I am sure it looked like something outta the Waterboy.
No seriously, its magnificent in all its glory. Only problem is, when I watch the video, I can feel the pressure, the pressure to win and beat Alabama. Alabama isnt stuck in the SEC West with those other teams, the other teams are stuck with Alabama.
An Auburn fan commented on the Deaderick shooting that the shooter was Nick Saban getting aggressive on opening up roster spots…….
My favorite part of the “I’m a man, I’m 40!” rant is the first part where Gundy says
“I got this from a mother……….of children” what else would she mother? Sheep? I guess its possible in Oklahoma

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Sep 1, 2009 11:31 AM EDT reply actions

Don’t you hate pants?

by beerbaron on Sep 1, 2009 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

“He [Williams] was arrested by Gainesville police shortly after he signed with UM for an incident that occurred during his UF recruiting trip. He allegedly discharged hotel extinguishers and hugged a student against her will. "

Thank you, Hogtown police, for keeping the streets safe from….OMG…unwanted huggers.

When they trace the evolution of Williams’ career criminal behavior, I wonder where the unwanted hugging part will factor in….

by hobeg8r on Sep 1, 2009 11:57 AM EDT reply actions

[overt homerism alert] Plus we’ve got a live tiger for a mascot that lives across the street. And, speaking of spending money, if hiring Chavis and Cooper (No 1 D and No 1 passing D, respectively, in the conf last year) doesn’t right this GD ship, then I will lose my faith in the power of the dollar.

by haveagreatday on Sep 1, 2009 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

#14

You see, these damn huggers are taking over. First they move into your neighborhood, then the crime rate goes up and the real estate value goes down…..That Dog doesn’t like huggers…..

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Sep 1, 2009 12:08 PM EDT reply actions

It always amazes me how people are labeled. Willie will always be a Cane like Maurice Clarett will forever be labeled a Buckeye. This depite that their criminal behavior was mostly, if not all, outside of those institutions. The same can be said of others I suppose, but Odell Thurman is rarely referred to as former Bulldog, but former Bengal instead as one example.

by Crabapple Buck on Sep 1, 2009 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

Williams arrest record was public knowledge before the fire-extinguisher episode…and Shalalala’s letter to scUM alums attempting to explain her pathetically contrived justification for enrolling a twelve-arrest problem child was amazing not only for its plea for aid for the down-trodden and forgotten souls our capitalistic society has forsaken, but also for its attempt to paint Willie as a victim and the obligation scUM had to help rectify a life that otherwise might be lost in the breech, all the while completely omitted any mention that the kid was a “can’t miss” football recruit…despite Shalalala’s best intentions, she failed to teach Willie to fish…and besides, his favorite is lobster.

Ah, the irony…

by sb on Sep 1, 2009 12:18 PM EDT reply actions

I seriously doubt that more than half the NFL teams have anything to match LSU’s pad. God, that’s impressive. I’d assume USC has something of that caliber, only with gold inlay.

by yoyofutbawl on Sep 1, 2009 12:20 PM EDT reply actions

One word. DAMN.

Very impressive facility at LSU.

by MSUDoginAL on Sep 1, 2009 12:56 PM EDT reply actions

LSU spares no expense. They even let their truck write a blog.

by SaveFarris on Sep 1, 2009 1:19 PM EDT reply actions

For what it’s worth, a year ago Gustav damaged the indoor facility roof, which helps explain why it is now braced up like a nuclear bunker. As for everything else…well, yeah. Opulence is what Louisiana is known for, right?

by mikeVI on Sep 1, 2009 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

I consulted a styleguide: “Hugged a student against her will” is University Sports Information officespeak for “groped salaciously.”

by Double Dawg Dare Ya on Sep 1, 2009 3:21 PM EDT reply actions

Man, Orson, you sure can get your irony-laden timing perfect. The article on LSU’s “facilities” (the ones other than those devoted to football) in today’s Baton Rouge Advocate is all about how the university’s main sewer line is in need of emergency-level repairs to the tune of $4.2 million. What happens if the system fails?

“LSU’s facility development director chooses his words carefully when describing the ticking time bomb beneath the university’s campus.

‘You’ve got a major poo-on-the-shoe problem,’ said Emmett David of a feared sewer line burst. ‘You can quote me on that.’"

Here’s the story. Imagine Saturday night in Death Valley in a worst-case scenario…

by My real name is Dick Whitman on Sep 1, 2009 3:27 PM EDT reply actions

Well, as an Alabama fan, I am quite sure that we can raise four million dollars in time for Saturday’s game to make sure that it explodes by halftime.

Wait, the money is to fix the system? Well… shit.

by El Kabong!!! on Sep 1, 2009 3:58 PM EDT reply actions

Did you see that? The player’s lounge had 3 computers and pool table. They spared no expense.

by JR on Sep 1, 2009 4:18 PM EDT reply actions

So would an electric swirly be the fuse to light this delightful roman candle of human waste?

by Hog In The Hills on Sep 1, 2009 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

@19

Actually USC does not even have an indoor practice facility. There are fewer game systems and plasmas around but the locker rooms are pretty comperable other than that. I like the USC team meeting room a little better (the big mural with Palmer, Polamalu, and Leinart provides a better look IMO) and the weight room looks about the same.

by oc phil on Sep 1, 2009 6:00 PM EDT reply actions

Watching that video makes me so happy that I am on faculty at a D3 school. It is nice, very nice, piece of equipment. But I cannot think of the adjuncts and PhD candidates who live below the poverty line.

by bevo on Sep 1, 2009 8:30 PM EDT reply actions

As a faculty member at LSU, let me tell you, bevo, that the minimum graduate teaching assistantship here is worth somewhere around $5800/yr — plus tuition and health insurance, of course — for 20 hrs a week. Surely they can scrape by on that, right?

by My real name is Dick Whitman on Sep 1, 2009 9:50 PM EDT reply actions