NEW COLLEGE GAMEDAY SONG TO BE LITTLE BIT COUNTRY, LITTLE BIT OH GOD KILL ME

Thank God for TiVo/DVR and a mute button.

This song is going to be the biggest sucking suck that ever sucked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjiUrh_aR64

Now, I do like some country music however, Kenney Chesney is not on that list.

Nothing will supplant this theme…it still gets me jacked! Man this is going to be the longest 9 days of my f’n life!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_q4fO7DsIc

Popular country music facilitates singing and ebullience amongst the ladies present, which, when combined with the alcohol necessary for, you know, singing along to country, makes the ladies more willing.

Can it really be worse than that godawful Daughtry crap that some random Dave was always promoting when the JP/Lincoln/Raycom (okay, fine…MSU) game would come back from commercial.

I vote for the K-State Power Towel Anthem, complete with half human ,half cat looking of OMG SUPRISE!! guitar player.

The only halfway decent College Gameday theme that I can remember is the one by Bubba Sparkxxx from a couple years back. And that was only halfway decent.

God I fucking hate Kenny Chesney. Every time I see that midget, he’s on a beach wearing cut-off jeans and freakin’t cowboy hat. A complete douche.

Three fourths of this is inaccurate. It’s fiction. And this article embarrasses me to be involved with country music. Tremendously. And that song had to have been written by a person who didn’t like Kenny Chesney. And has never been a Kenny Chesney concert that had their HEART BROKEN and come home upset. And had to deal with that child when he is upset. And kick a person when he’s down! Here’s all that Kenny Chesney did. He goes to the recording studio. He’s respectful to the media. He’s respectful to the PUBLIC. And he’s a good singer, he’s not a great singer, and he doesn’t deserve to be kicked when he’s down. If you listen to Kenny Chesney someday, you’ll understand how it feels. But you obviously don’t listen to Kenny Chesney. I do. If Kenny Chesney goes down the street, and someone makes fun of him because he dropped a note in a sing-off, or SAYS HE’S SHORT, and he comes home crying to his mom, you’d understand. But you haven’t had that. But someday you will. And when your child comes home, you’ll understand. If you want to go at a country singer, ONE OF MY SINGERS, you go after one that doesn’t do the right things. You don’t downgrade him because he does everything right and may not sing as well on Saturday. And you let us make that decision. That’s why I don’t read the newspaper. BECAUSE IT’S GARBAGE. And the editor that let it come out IS GARBAGE. Attacking a country singer for doing everything right. And then you want to write articles about guys that don’t do things right, and downgrade those who do make plays. Are you kidding me? Where are we at in society? COME AFTER ME! I’M A MAN! I’M FORTY! I’M NOT A KID. RIGHT SOMETHING ABOUT ME or our singers. Don’t right it about a kid that does everything right. His heart is broken. And then say that the coaches said he was scared. THAT AIN’T TRUE. And then to say that we made that decision because Rene Zellwinger was. Because she threatened to divorce. THAT’S NOT TRUE. So get your facts straight. And I hope someday you have a child and someone downgrades him or belittles him, and you have to look him in the eye and say you know what? It’s okay. They’re suppose to be mature adults but they really aren’t. Who’s the kid. Who’s the kid here. Are you kidding me? That’s all I got to say. Makes me wanna puke!

“God, please: if you exist, send 1988 Steve Earle forward in time to us. We will give him a flamethrower and a suitcase filled with blacktar heroin to burn country music to the ground and make people start writing honest songs about running from the cops, drinking yourself blind, and resigning yourself to your own doomed bastardhood before a premature and giddy death.”

7 billion cocktails. YesyesyeysyesyesyesyesYES

I hope to god that’s a brilliant troll

THAT AIN’T TRUEH!!!!

@10 one jillibillionty cocktails to you

That had to have taken half an hour to write.

Because nothing says “fired up for game day” than a wanna-be Jimmy Buffett.

Why does Bristol want to do dumb things to its best pre-game show (by far)?

“I think it’s great that Gameday is broadcasting live from Vanderbilt. It’s so CRAZY and KOOL that the ’Dores are undefeated!”

- Everyone, circa October 2008

You have no one but your own selves to blame for this.

@10

Brilliant. You had me until Chesney came crying home to mama.

I liked it when Better than Ezra was “Not” the game day band.

“I don’t watch CMT
Naw that shit makes me sick.
And that ol’ Kenny Chesney,
What a hypocrite.

He’ll swear he’s country,
But he lives in the Caribbean.
Sings all about the islands now,
What happened to the Tennessean?

Aw, if he’s country I’ll kiss your ass
Throw all my Johnny Cash records in the trash
He’s all about image cuz image pays the bucks,
Aw but if he’s country, well then country really sucks."

Cocktails (or, alternately, beers of choice) to Corey Smith.

What the hell ever.. you guys will embrace this song, love it and nurture it like it was your own. Why? Because ESPN says so, bitches.

Rock on Kenny Chesney!

@10…. Is that you Kenny??

So, I guess my suggestion to use and old George Jones and Tammy Wynette duet will be unacceptable as well?

I want to set this post on fire and inject the ashes into my goddamn eyes. Steve Earle would approve.

“Because nothing says "fired up for game day" than a wanna-be Jimmy Buffett.”

God, talk about aiming low…but I guess when you’re Chesney’s height, it’s only natural.

Comparatively speaking, ESPN’s college football coverage is very good. However, it’s still done by ESPN, which means there has to be some part of it that is corporate sponsored BS of the first degree. As long as they’re going to make it a song that I can mute during something that will never be cut anyway (like opening credits or highlight montages and whatnot), then I can deal.

As long as it doesn’t end up being “lets cut away from the telecast and play a four minute long music video that’s entirely out of place” then I guess I’m fine with this. Like I said, it’s ESPN. Everything has a banality quota to fulfill.

Rich Brooks thinks this is Bullshit.

@10 – beautiful, sublime.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to warm up to…AND WE’RE COMIN’, TO YOUR CIT-TAY!!!!!!!

Re: WWL & Chesney’s love spawn

Nuke ‘em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

This is a great win for the LGBT community!

http://in-misery.blogspot.com/2007/05/contemplating-kenny-chesneys-gayness.html

Correct me if I’m wrong, but that may have been the first time someone typed the name “Rene Zellwinger” on this site.

Anyway, Duece, get a fucking life..This is not some fucking country music message board. I can picture you sitting at your computer wiping the tears from your face because someone made fun of that fake, short, watered down joke of a musician.

Kenny Chesney is country music’s version of crappy pop music

kinda surprised with the selection of chesney.

really thought they were going with GWAR on this one. I mean, at least GWAR wear shoulder pads in their videos and are predisposed to violence.

1. wins forever.

i’m gonna get fired if i keep trying to stifle EDSBS gigglez at work today . . .

I think all of you pretty much covered it. Shitty singer-check. Short-check. Wannabe Jimmy Buffet-check. I haven’t watched Gameday in a couple years, but this still pisses me off.

Oh how I adore you Senor Swindle when you get all worked up into a lather. Every writer needs a muse, thank the WWL for providing you with such a purty target for your vitriol.

@10 – nice work though apparently a few more people need to Google Mike Gundy

@32, Tommy Kilborn thinks you are way underrating ND this year and you will pump his gas one day. Have at ’em!

Hey, at least it’s not Nickelback … wait … who did they pick? …. shit.

This is all Tim Tebow’s doing. He of the “Courtney Cox/Dancing in the Dark” climb on stage fame with Chesney.

eer in ATL @#9…are you saying Kenny Chesney wears “jorts”? He ain’t no Gator…

hay beav @#32…seriously? Oh, good, for a minute I thought you missed the parody…

…and I thought Big and Rich sucked…little did I know what lay ahead…

1. FTW!

You had me going for a minute……

#32
Haybeav, that was his inside joke take on “I’m A MAN, I’M FORTY” speech, verbatim, that Coach Gundy gave. And Deuce, may hats off to ya.

I thought his theme song would be this:
"I still Think Tebows Sexy"(to the tune of " She Thinks My Tractors Sexxxaaaaayyy")

I still think Tebows sexy
He really turns me on
I’m always staring at him
While he running along
I like the way he’s passing and picking up first downs
I’m even kind of crazy about his end around,
He’s the only one who really understands what gets me
I think Tim Tebows sexyyyyyyy

Running these stadiums in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate, lordy here he comes
With a basket full of scaples to go slice on a foreign kids pee pee…
A makeshift operating room and he comes up
A lil circle cut and spurt a lil blood
Just look at his face….. he ain’t a foolin meeeeeee…….
(Chorus)
We run back and forth ‘til we run out of light
Run up the stadium and puke all night
Climb up in the press box and talk with noooo shirts on
He said he’s got a dream and I asked what it is
He wants a Dr’s office full of uncircumcised kids
And one more teeny weeny set of squats before I take him home
(Chorus)

32, I’ve got some swamp land in Algeria that I can sell you for an absolute bargain.

Really? We’ve been so long without football that we can’t recognize the most notorious Big XII meme in years? Go run some laps. S’almost gametime.

Whoops….I wish someone would have mentioned Mike Gundy before, because as soon as I read it, it clicked in my head. My bad.

We all have our off days, i guess…But I was serious about “Rene Zellwinger”

Yes Yes, I was “that guy” this time.

#46
You had me at “Homo”…lol she divorced his ass for “Fraud”?
What was the fraud, that he was short and wore high heeled boots like Stallone?

“You drive a fucking Honda…. to work, Sonic, Bass Pro Shops, and that’s about it.”

Whoa. You just described my year in Destin – leaving out only the lunch-hour drinking binges in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond parking lot.

Kudos to @ 10. Genius.

Dear WWL:

If I wanted to listen to country music, I would watch NASCAR races.

Sincerely yours,

If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.

I like how we’re now making up numbers when we assign cocktails. It was the only logical next step.

Also, this: "America’s Milquetoast Mecca, Nashville, the home of country music that can go fuck itself in the ear with a wolverine. " The best and most accurate description of Nashville I’ve ever witnessed.

First, we all need to remember that Kenny Chesney and Peyton Manning are basically best friends. I really cannot reinterate that last sentence enough.

Second, someone who owns some stock in Disney should fire up the old derivative suit. ESPN is wasting money by paying Chesney when they already own the rights to a perfectly good song and, if anything, Chesney is going to make people turn their channels, if only temporarily.

As always, someone in Bristol is trying to ruin something that everyone loves, or likes well enough.

If you’ve got to have an intro song, I’m thinking DRIVE BY TRUCKERS!!!

I want angry guitar riffs and lyrics about beating my kids when my school loses or crying cause my team’s the only reason left I have to wake up in the morning. That’s what football is about as far as I’m concerned.

What the fuck. Wasn’t Slayer or Wu-Tang available.

Orson is really at his best when his indignant gland is all flared up.

Hey, it’s better than Big and Rich

Orson…that’s your favorite scene in that movie? How very…….Michael Vick ….of you!

@52
Maybe he used to be, but it’s Timmy that’s dancing on stage with him nowadays.

Country music hasn’t been country music since I don’t know when. Kenny Chesney and his ilk do indeed suck.

I miss Bubba Sparxxx.

@8:

Here’s a taste of how awesome the intro used to be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egJAChNn9RY

Oh Steve Earle, every year you get grumpier and uglier but that’s cool because you still know a thousand more things about country music than all of the Nashville corporate monkeys combined.
I guess the only thing worse would be one of the whores who record that soulless crap – but enough about Mr. Chesney.

At least when Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil; he got a well tuned guitar. Today’s pop-country stars get what they deserve; a system that grinds them into hamburger!

p.s.
Drive By Truckers Rule!
I’m 50 years old and I approve of my message!

SIR – I object to your characterization of Nashville as “America’s Milquetoast Mecca, Nashville, the home of country music that can go fuck itself in the ear with a wolverine.” Everyone knows that the Wolverine is not indigenous to Tennessee and has indeed wreaked havoc on the local ecosystem (cf. Vanderbilt vs Michigan, 1922) when it does appear.

You would be more accurate to characterize Nashville as “America’s Home for Trailer Park Proctology and White Rain Suffocation Poisioning, brought to you by Paula Deen, Jimmy Dean and Jim Beam, With Soundtrack By A Bunch Of Painted Whores Who Couldn’t Carry Tammy Wynette’s Girdle (RIP cuz, will mourn you til we join you).”

Also, everyone on 440 drives like shit. Yes, you too.

Why can’t it be "if the House is a-rockin’ "? Or “Whiskey-bent and Hell-bound”? So many damn good choice out there.

I would give $1.76 to hear Kenny Chesney or Mike Gundy sing “Enter Sandman”.

My wife liked the intro song where they were on slip and slides. “We’re so happy here,” or something.

This has to be part of ESPN’s new deal with the SEC, whose new slogan must be: “The Esss Eeee Ceee: Speed at Every Position, But Crappy Musical Taste.”

I agree with several other posters: If we’re going to be forced to listen to something country-fied all season long, couldn’t they have chosen the DBTs or Lucero?

Even better than the traditional theme Orson embedded, does anyone remember the original ESPN2 college football theme from the mid-90s? Now, that, my friends, was a fall Saturday morning personified in bumper music form…

Yeah, all of this Chesney talk obscures one good thing about the change: No more Cowboy Troy. Cowboy Troy makes Wayne Brady seem like Rick Ross.

Order a twelve pack of those ear wolverines for the focus group that gave a thumbs up to this Chesney pablum dreck placenta. And a dozen more for the horses they rode in on.

Bring It On Home from LZII always works for me, with the heavy guitar riff kicking in at about the 5/6 mark on the upward curving buzz ascendancy line. Or the old theme.

I would like to go ahead and give Ozzy Osborne the nod to make a song for Gameday…. lord knows that maniacal laugh from crazy train is on the sound track in my head when my team knocks the stink out of a rival

haahaahaahaahaahaahaahaahaahaahaahaa

Please do not falsely characterize Chesney as “country” music. Dale Watson might show up and beat your ass.

“WHO THE HELL THEY THINK WE AM?”

Dear Editor:
Your work here is fine. But leave my public-restroom hand dryer alone!

@53 Bamaman – Amen on DBT. They would kick the shit out of an opening song. I’m hoping that Chesney will be the next man(?) that Patterson shoots.

(Now I’m praying that someone will put together some highlights using Lookout Mountain.)

At least it won’t be the junk linked by #61.

It was 10:00am and I was all ready to sit down and kick off the 09’ College Football season when… what the!!!! No really, where is my song? This Kenny Chesney song is weak and makes you want to sleep, not jump and cheer for your team. Kenny doing a Karate Kid impression and talking about someone’s moment… Get real

I like Kenny but this song has to go!

Justin