I’m from timber country (Michigan/‘Sconsin/’Sota), and have never heard the phrase “shit like a woodchipper at full roar for two days” until now. I pity the me that had to go through 26 years of life deprived of said phrase.

Your smokehouse almond warning has made my day. Although my methadone-clinic-robbing hunger strikes seem to always lead me to some variation of buffalo chicken slop married with tortilla chips….mother of god it is so close.

Whoo-hoo. Just in time to test out the new compound’s new computer. Hopefully, NowLive won’t crash all the damn time when I’m running SNOW LEOPARD. (You betta recognize, bitches.)

One extra… Shoot me straight: Who wins in Raleigh, NC State or So Car??

No answers yet, but a question: Same software for EDSBSLIVE? I think the consensus was that the new software sucked balls.

The real one has horns.

1. Let me get this straight: a non-Mississippi State SEC team is GETTING four points against an ACC team? Spurrier? On the road? Doesn’t matter. South Carolina, FTW. Wake up, Vegas, wake up.

2. Easy, Tech and ‘Bama. Saturday, Saturday, Saturday… one fall in a crumbling dome, er, steel cage, loser leaves the national title race for the whateverthefuck.com bowl. And the winner gets to keep pretending for another couple of weeks or whatever.

3. Somebody other than USC plays football out west? That’s cute. Drop the arena league jerseys and call me.

4. A boxing glove. That way if Louisiana Tech keeps is close on Auburn, I can repeatedly punch myself in the dick. You know, to get ready for the rest of the season. GENE CHIZIK

1. Nevada could give ND some fits in that opening week game.

2. VT/Bama is sure being hyped as the game of the week. Hopefully, that doesn’t lead to a massive letdown. I’ll definitely be watching either way.

3. This is rhetorical, correct? It’s the first night of the opening week of course I’ll be watching from the right coast. Fueled by a mixture of coffee and espresso vodka.

4. Laptop. To enhance the opening weekend experience by adding ESPN360 to the mix.

1) Miami over Florida St. – no rhyme or reason whatsoever, but it just feels right.

2) Gotta go with Ok. St. / Georgia. whether or not either of those teams will be a national player this year, it’s going to be one of the biggest measuring sticks that people whip out in December when it comes time to talk about which conference gets the BCS at-large bids.

3) I’ll stay up if it’s a good game. If either team is ahead by three TDs going into the 4th quarter I’ll read about it in the morning.

4) I’m making a special trip to the local novelty grocery for Thursday night. The menu? prime rib sliders, chips and homemade salsa, and beer aged in bourbon barrels.

"shit like a woodchipper at full roar for two days"

PLEASE give me permission to use this in everyday conversation, especially when old ladies are around.

If you hate Auburn, you might want to watch the Louisiana Tech game.

For the second time ever in the state of Alabama, LATECH demands RESPECH!

Would it be considered a Flamenco upset when Oregon beats BSU?

1) Tiger High gives Ole Miss a hell of a game at the Liberty Bowl, but Nevada actually does the deed and knocks off the Irish.

2) Ok. St. vs Georgia SEC/Big 12 bragging rights.

3) Since I start work at 11:30 pm, I’ll be watching the end of the game from the station.

4) Lots of options but it will somehow involve wings and lots of Mt. Dew…

1. Maryland over Cal. I’m a Cal fan, and predicting demise makes it feel -when it happens- less like getting eaten alive by mean nasty fire ants and more like getting eaten alive by cute puppies.

2. SJSU vs. USC. It will determine whether USC will be just plain amazing or amazing TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE.

3. Yes, I will stay up for the Hawaii game. Assuming it’s in Hawaii.

4. I will be sustaining myself only with thoughts of revenge.

1. Your upset du jour will be WMU being the yearly embarrassment for Michigan. UM is -11 but will lose outright with the RichRod fumblefest freshman QB vols. 1 & 2.

2. UGA wandering aimlessly around the prairie vs. Ok St should be the most important since SEC teams don’t play Big 12 very frequently, other than Arkansas. For me, seeing tOSU fans act responsibly while hosting Navy will have my full attention.

3. (In my best Dan Hawkins voice) Its College Football brother! No stimulants needed!

4. Being Labor Day weekend and not wanting to interrupt my viewing, I suspect whatever I have will be delivered or nuked. Those almonds are too good. I’ve never started a jar I couldn’t finish.

1) I’m going longshot on the upset: 1-AA Youngstown State over Pitt. The ’stache is going down.

2) Miami at Florida State. On top of bragging rights and the factor of being a conference game, I see the winner of this game going on to a decent+ season with the loser starting the year in the 1-3/0-4 area and never really fully recovering.

3) As an east coast Pac-10 man there’s no way I’ll miss the end. Stimulant? Guinness, sweet Guinness.

4) Homemade nachos. Bag of chips, bag of shredded cheese, jar of jalapenos, and the oven’s broiler setting. And some beer! YAY! To hell with Friday!

I don’t think YSU will beat Pitt. I will be there to watch. As a tune-up for the Tech-Bama game. I pick Bama in that.

I’ll pick FSU against The U. Miami has a lot to prove. So does FSU, but a bit less.

I am looking forward to the Oregon game. I like to watch their running game. That big kid would look good in a Steelers uniform.

No stimulant needed….hell, it’s football season!

OMG OMG OMG i thot I was the only one who ate 5 cans of Smokehouse per game…