BLOGTOBERFEST: ONLY TEXAS TECH PREVIEW YOU WILL EVER NEED EDITION

by Orson on Aug 24, 2009 4:09 PM EDT

Blogtoberfest: for when ADD falls down panting in exhaustion at your pace.

Horns a-fiya! Peter brings us this extremely well-crafted Horns video. Still waiting on the Florida video set to "Raining Blood" consisting of nothing but pictures of Brandon Spikes killing people by force. Internet, make this happen!

Also of note on the Texas front is Chris' examination of the Texas passing game, which is simple, but simple/good, not simple/drown-in-bathtub-stupid.

Meanwhile, 3,500 miles away. The only preview you will ever need for Texas Tech football is this:

LG Brandon Carter continues his Columbine-Moody-Goth-With-The-Pituitary-Of-A-Mastodon act. It’s boring. If he unleashed the Mexican midget wrestler El Caliente (who lives symbiotically between his belly fat folds) on enemy pass rushers, I would be more entertained by his WWE shtick. Otherwise I anticipate him one day replacing Criss Angel’s terrible brooding magician act at a Connecticut Indian Casino.

Salute Scipio Tex. He's leading us over the horizon. Possibly into an ambush followed by a cavalry charge into cannon fire, but Texans never have relied on "math" when picking their fights.

But this will improve recruiting among transfers from the Southern Conference. Florida's opener against Charleston Southern didn't have to be useless, and almost wasn't.

Frank Spaziani, sitting on the ash-heap and refusing to curse God. Boston College may be slipping into Job territory with the continuing injuries to his quarterbacks.

If your pregame song sounds "Christian Rock-ish,"...you're doing it wrong. Virginia Tech would like to invite you to borrow a dose of vitamin ROCK once you, you know, find your testicles in that jar where you put them as a result of them falling off from listening to that Cowboys song.

Perhaps he can kick Kyle Parker gets the "I'm all right, feeling good" fluffery as the new starter, but we all know no man is confident who has WILLY KORN WILLY KORN nipping at their heels. Block-C, when not dispensing extremely detailed information on the perfect cooler, also reminds you that you, too, can at least attempt to be a Clemson Tiger. It would help if you could kick, since they're already considering starting a walk-on.

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Comments

Great comments on the fat clown from Texas Tech. It was great fun watching Ole Miss whip them in the bowl game. It was even more fun to watch Tech’s O-line fall apart at the end. You don’t have to be in the Dantonio camp to think that it’s more than a little fucked up to let a kid take the field looking like that.

Assuming most of us get the same de-motivational posters via the internet, I’d like to nominate Carter for the “Gothopatamus” trophy this year.

by ohiodawg on Aug 24, 2009 5:03 PM EDT reply actions

Charleston Southern = Big South

You have decided to exit the Southern Conference, Citadel, Western Carolina, etc, this year with your typically difficult OOC scheduling.

Also, currently I am taking Charleston Southern to beat the spread. I will probably regret that decision.

by Coop on Aug 24, 2009 5:30 PM EDT reply actions

The AWFUL thing about the walk-on frosh kicker at Clempson is that he is a DESPICABLE DAMN GREENIE LEAF RAKER AND HOUSEKEEPER FROM CHRIST SKOOL. My oldest daughter curses his soul, as all responsible and civic minded Blue-Hearted citizens of Buncombe County, NC do.

by yoyofutbawl on Aug 24, 2009 9:16 PM EDT reply actions

Utah Fans/AD/Senior Senator: “We want respect! We want to play the big boys! Whaaaa!”

Foley: “Ok, come to the Swamp and play Florida on national television.”

Utah: “Um, never mind.”

by chg on Aug 24, 2009 11:59 PM EDT reply actions

@ yoyofutbawl – He’s actually from Christ Church in Greenville, SC. Not Christ School in where ever the hell, NC. I can see how you’d make that mistake though. Also, check out our EKR section for some tips on improving your bit.

by Willy Mac on Aug 25, 2009 8:36 AM EDT reply actions

Here’s some irony for the carnival barker guy. There are probably 200-300 on the 40 acres who come from the same Columbine goth mold as Carter, and none of them are All-Americans. Tech might have two others. And the only people who think UT didn’t get their asses handed to them last year either didn’t watch the game or watched through burnt orange glasses. 39-33 and no MNC for you.

Oh, and one more thing, there are plenty of things to insult Lubbock and Tech about (landscape, isolation, academics, smell of the city), but taking shots at our co-eds makes you look like a grade-A jackass. The internet has proven time and time again that Tech’s female population is up there with the very best this fine country has to offer, and our girls even take the time to shave their legs and pits.

by Festus Norwood on Aug 25, 2009 10:55 AM EDT reply actions

@Coop,

You are correct. It should also be pointed out that Southern Conference Schools schedule Big South schools as THEIR cupcake game frequently. i.e. Wofford and UF have the very same cupcake opponent this year in Charleston Southern. Think about that….

by bofavol on Aug 25, 2009 4:00 PM EDT reply actions

Our (Wofford’s) game with Charleston Southern last year now that I think about it was closer than most people thought it would be….42-24.

A Big South school should never ever be playing an SEC school. Ever. The Big South is a “mid-major” of I-AA. In other words if the Southern Conference is the SEC of I-AA then the Big South is the Sunbelt or Mid America conference.

If you’re going to go I-AA, at least go Southern Conference. And you don’t even have to play someone at the top of the league (App St., Wofford, Ga. Southern etc….) Go middle of the pack (Samford, Furman, Elon) or hell, even go with the bottom feeders like Chattanooga, Citadel, Western Carolina. But the Big South is just too much. This has nothing to do with finding ways to make fun of Florida because I’m also a Tennessee fan and we can’t beat them on the field either…nope…not at all…so don’t even suggest that.

by bofavol on Aug 25, 2009 4:24 PM EDT reply actions