CURIOUS INDEX, 8/18/09

"As recently as a week ago, his teammates were saying he was trying to shake off the rust."

The "In Floppy We Trust" era at Syracuse begins as Greg Paulus is named starter at..um..10 p.m. at night. We live on Doug Marrone's schedule, not the other way around, and you'll have to deal with that because you're an adult and all. Paulus beat out Ryan Nassib, who Doc Saturday points out will have three years to play after the Paulus experiment, and could yield the benefits of Syracuse maxing out their "Times Quarterback Maimed" quota in their game against Penn State. Dicky V's erect and making his co-workers uneasy, babeee!!!

(And yes, there is a PR element to this, of picking the more glamourous of two options and the hometown boy simultaneously, but egads, is that really a sane reason when determining a roster decision? Marrone's making something happen, people! So does Ebola, but you don't see anyone getting all complimentary about Filoviridae viruses, do you?)

Remember, all part of the plan. Tennessee's quarterbacks cannot distinguish themselves from the other, but if the coaches really are having a problem with this, let's help: the one fumbling snaps and displaying horrific decision-making skills has a name that rhymes with "Mompton." Remember that whatever happens, it is all part of the plan, and for the best, and because this being the best possible world of all worlds, Coach Pangloss's plans always work no matter what happens. (Losing to Florida will make Tennessee better!)

Don't fart, you'll ruin it. We disagree on that point, certainly; a gentleman knows that the delight of releasing one's bladder escalates to a new, elysian peak when the effluent golden bliss of making one's water is accompanied by a complementary flexing and melodious trumpeting of the bowels. Does Niagara falls awe without the thunder of the cascading waters? No, certainly not, and thus our dissent. Still, many of the training methods depicted in this video certainly hold some form of water (pun verily intended.) (HT: Ethan.)

Yes, um, Julio Loves You Back, We're Sure. Via Rumors and Rants' list of ten players they can't wait to see, the soon-to-be-wildly-popular shirt that would have gotten you killed fifty years ago in Alabama. (Or anywhere else in the South, for that matter.)

A new Christian football show? HELL YEAH!!! Mike Gottfried, long exiled to the hinterlands of ESPN's football coverage after the dissolution of the WWL's best announcing team with Ron Franklin, has a new Christian-themed college football show. We look forward to being interviewed on it never. Fun note: Gottfried says a family is a team, just like a basketball or football team, meaning your family, if like most, is probably the Minnesota 2008 of teams: with a largely winning record, yes, but pummeled into disorganized submission by serious challenges.