CURIOUS INDEX, 8/13/09

by Orson on Aug 13, 2009 9:46 AM EDT

There is no basement in the Alamo Bowl, but the Big Ten wouldn't be let into it now if it existed, anyway. The Big Ten is out of the Alamo Bowl post-2009 in favor of a Pac-10 team, with the bowl order bumping the Alamo over the Holiday Bowl for the Pac-10's number 2 team. The Alamo outbid the Holiday with a $3 million payout, but the Holiday should be fine, as it typically gets good ratings in its 12/30 slot, is the only game on in the slot, and looks a lot better on television than the Alamo anyway, which has the sad, dingy look of all games played indoors, even when it's Michigan pulling off a quality hook 'n ladder attempt.

The Holiday is also in San Diego, which people like for its natural beauty, excellent weather, tasty food, and proximity to major drug pipelines both into and out of Mexico. A destination for the whole family, really.

Boubacar is down for his boys. And a disorderly charge. Boubacar Cissoko doesn't want you to mess with his boys, which earns him a point in the Fulmer Cup, and another chance to say the name Boubacar Cissoko, the most melodious name in college football. Somewhere in Mingovia Zoltan Mesko and Cissoko's genes are being mixed in a lab to create one indomitable Afro-funk Wolverine Space Emperor to rule them all.

Aaron Corp now can look forward to a lucrative contract from the Kansas City Chiefs. That is the good news for Corp if he has indeed been "Cassel'd" as the starter at USC by Matt Barkley. The downside is that Barkley will be Leinart'd by an ancient quarterback as a pro, and will have to drown himself in groupies, tequila, bonus money, and Valtrex to dull the pain. A hellish fate, to be sure. The Mater Dei freshman has Pete Carroll quoting Malcolm Gladwell, which means soon Michael Lewis will write an article about how innovative Barkley was by deciding to throw the ball with his arm, which is unlike any other quarterback ever.

Ay, papi. Miami's first four games, again: at Florida State, GT at home, at Virginia Tech, and then Oklahoma at home. OU was a bad matchup anyway, but after those three games to open it moves into the "potential smiting" category, and through very little fault of Miami's. They have to endure the grappling match Virginia Tech will put on them, and will probably still have the bruises and lactic acid buildup from that game in their system when they take the field against the Sooners, who will then turn Bradford and the flamethrowers on them. Ghastly, but impressive in its Viking bravery. Cheers, and here's a life insurance policy.

Tebowvania, here we come. We'll admit: we'd love to see this Blaze kid at quarterback.

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Comments

Randy Shannon, with full Vulcan stoicism, notes your schedule analysis and calls a QB waggle to the tight end to the short side of the field on third and fifteen for good measure.

by Counter Trap on Aug 13, 2009 9:58 AM EDT reply actions

I think the Alamo Bowl ending its contract with the Big Ten in favor of the Pac-10 is short-sighted from a business perspective. Which fanbase is more willing to get the hell out of town for San Antonio, of all less-than-thrilling destinations, in the winter?

by Other Chris on Aug 13, 2009 10:04 AM EDT reply actions

This schedule will help us more than you will ever know.

by Randy Shannon on Aug 13, 2009 10:06 AM EDT reply actions

At least the Blaze kid didn’t toss any laptops out windows before getting his chance to start, right? RITE?

by Will on Aug 13, 2009 10:12 AM EDT reply actions

UM making Fulmer Cup noise is like their team, too little, too late.

Something tells me that Barkley handing off to a 5* back won’t be any different. Whether we can rattle a freshman making his first road start in Columbus with consistant pressure forcing ‘happy feet’ is what is going to matter. Either QB is starting for the first time. If tOSU can slow down or stop the run, I like our chances.

by Crabapple Buck on Aug 13, 2009 10:24 AM EDT reply actions

Agreed. A friend of mine from Charlotte just went to Kohler, WI to play golf for a long weekend. They went to the Bratwurst Festival in Sheyboygan on Saturday and asked a young cheese-fed cutie (size 14 or thereabouts, which he said was about average) what they did for fun there. She said “leave when we turn 18”.

by yoyofutbawl on Aug 13, 2009 10:25 AM EDT reply actions

Losing the Alamo is disappointing for the Big Ten. This was always an entertaining game and one of the few chances to see the Big Ten against the Big XII.

by Expat Ohioan on Aug 13, 2009 10:34 AM EDT reply actions

Well, if we get out of the stretch 3-1, or 2-2 even, it’s easy to imagine 8-4 and winning a bowl.

If all else fails, Afro Butterfly will save us all.

by headsigh on Aug 13, 2009 10:46 AM EDT reply actions

if ty willingham got year four, randy has nothing to worry about.

by fife in the bay on Aug 13, 2009 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

Geez, I forgot the B10 even had a contract with the Alamo bowl….they send their #2 to a BCS game, the #3 to the Capital One, the #4 to the Outback, so the #5 went there?

And now the Pac-10 is sending their #2 there? LOL.

by Pants McPants on Aug 13, 2009 10:57 AM EDT reply actions

I remember that Nebraska-Michigan game. I never understood why the last Michigan man ran it out of bounds at the end. They spent all that time with the laterals to keep the play alive and he just runs it out of bounds. Granted, a few more laterals were needed to get the ball in the endzone but at least try to keep it alive.

by leNDmeabuck on Aug 13, 2009 11:01 AM EDT reply actions

San Antonio is an awesome place for a major sporting event though – the River Walk alone makes for great drunken people watching. Would I want to spend more than a weekend there (aka – past the point the fun of the River Walk runs out)? Probably not. But after going to a Final Four there, there are very few places I’d rather go for a single weekend college sporting event.

It’s just too bad the actual football game is played in that dump of a dome.

by Nathan on Aug 13, 2009 11:19 AM EDT reply actions

That Nebraska-Michigan game had some of the WORST officiating I’ve ever seen.

by mistercheezle on Aug 13, 2009 11:23 AM EDT reply actions

I know I’ve been beating the drum for years for the Pac-10 to sober up on their bowl affiliations, but this really seems like one step forward two steps back. In the battle of the Sans, Diego is a 1 seed and Antonio…well Antonio wears a helmet.

Honestly you’d think the Pac-10 doesn’t care about any bowl but the Rose Bowl OH WAIT…

by Vandy J on Aug 13, 2009 11:24 AM EDT reply actions

RE: Tebowvania

Sadly, it looks like the only technical impossibility of the “Tebow Wikipedia Entry circa 2070” if him assuming the US Presidency. He was born in the Phillipines, and probably not on a US Military base, like John McCain.

by Brian on Aug 13, 2009 11:50 AM EDT reply actions

I take it as a personal affront that Matt Hayes thinks there’s even a hint of a chance that Miami will hang with OU. Bring on the flamethrowers.

by westbrooke on Aug 13, 2009 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

I assume Tebow’s parents were US citizens living abroad, making him a natural born citizen eligible for the Presidency. The Constitution ain’t rocket surgery.

by chg on Aug 13, 2009 3:10 PM EDT reply actions

leNDmeabuck, the Michigan guy didn’t just run out of bounds, he was tackled/pushed out of bounds. Though you’re right, he should at least have tossed the ball back over his shoulder or something.

Mistercheezle, you are right in that assessment, the officiating in that game was GOD AWFUL. At least both teams got screwed several times, so neither could claim favoritism.

by twogreattastes on Aug 13, 2009 5:07 PM EDT reply actions

@ 12, totally agree.

6, your friend from Charlotte? Charlotte?!?! Unless you’re from a universally agreed-upon cultural Mecca (i.e., not Charlotte) or a place of stunning beauty (i.e., not Charlotte), it makes one look foolish to mock other places. And in case you haven’t noticed, our entire country is chock full of fatsses; Wisconsin doesn’t exactly have a monopoly. I was in Kingston, Ontario, over the weekend, and it was the first time since moving back to the U.S. from Europe four years ago that I didn’t feel overwhelmed by the morbidly obese.

by Featherston on Aug 13, 2009 9:01 PM EDT reply actions

I believe that the Alamo bowl’s rationale is that by December of 2010, no one who lives in the Big Ten area will have jobs to pay for bowl trips anymore.

PS. Also, in January, I would take San Antonio’s weather over San Diego’s, not that its “bad”, but it gets cold at night. Everything else is a wash, except for the natural environment, but oceans and mountains are overrated anyway.

by meatybob on Aug 14, 2009 1:47 PM EDT reply actions