CURIOUS INDEX, 8/11/2009

by Orson on Aug 11, 2009 9:58 AM EDT

"What's with this Wildcat, thing, huh?" Local news! Humorous re-enactments of crazy, wacky NFL formations! Incisive questions which are really just obvious questions asked with unreal emphasis on the final word of the SENTENCE? The Wildcat? Guy Genericface has more!

Florida will be employing the hottest NFL fad of 2008 by using Joe Haden in the Wildcat formation. (You knew the Wildcat back when it was underground in 2006 in college football. Pat yourself on the back, hipster.) Haden is pound for pound the strongest player on the Gators, a sub-200 pound quarterback who can bench twice his body weight like a mighty and enraged red ant. Should the play break down, he can clean and jerk opponents out of the way if necessary.

The first two sites are DUH and DUH. Gameday, weeks one and two: Atlanta and Columbus, unsurprisingly. We'll be in town for ATL at the least, so that's one opportunity to sneak an EDSBS sign into the back of Gameday's set. WILL NOT MAKE LEE CORSO STROKE JOKE.

How many LSU fans does it take to screw in a OH MY GOD THEY'RE THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE. SEC lightbulb jokes are good, though knock-knock jokes have to be hot on their heels, like "Knock knock? Who's there? Major Wright TA-DOW. /concussed." That's our favorite, at least.

Luv u mike leeeeech. He's insane, you know. That explains the enduring sexy.

At least we're whores, but honest whores. Some universities pay their coach $4 mil in a recession, sure. Some pay their coaches behind the backs of their boosters and oversight committees, however. This is all just really building to us all discovering in eight years that Tom O'Brien's real pay was $12 million a year, leading us to respect TOB's previously unknown covert hustlin' swagger.

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How many EDSBS commenters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

by utahutes86 on Aug 11, 2009 10:05 AM EDT reply actions

One: an Alabama or Auburn fan to spin the entire thing out of control counter-clockwise.

by Orson Swindle on Aug 11, 2009 10:08 AM EDT up reply actions

I’ve got wood like Darren McFadden thinking about the halcyon Wildcat days of Ought Six.

by Jerkwheat on Aug 11, 2009 10:19 AM EDT reply actions

Hasn’t Florida been running the Wildcat the last three years and calling it the “Tebow Blast?”

by Sue E. Pig on Aug 11, 2009 10:19 AM EDT reply actions

Screw in a light bulb? That sounds like actual work. Sir, you offend. We leave those sorts of activities to the serfs from other blogs.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Aug 11, 2009 10:20 AM EDT reply actions

One to email the Sporting News in a drunken stupor/meth fit daily and complain about Holly. Twenty to chant "Mike Riley, Super Genius!!!" at USC apologists. One to make obscure music references from the May 24, 2004 Billboard Hot 100 (#’s 60-85) to try and get a man nod from Orson. Six to clean up the broken Thomas Kinkade figurines from the latest SEC/Big 10 slap fight before Mom gets home. Fifty to hold back the continuous media circus that surrounds Steve Fairchild. Eight to man the Cray workstations at NSA to decode the references in the Friday buffet picks. Three thousand four hundred nine (estimate) to get pissed when EDSBS Live rolls over and begins belching fire instead of sound (again). Ten to roll their eyes when a Bama fan works "1957" into an otherwise innocuous conversation with an Auburn alum (You see what I did there?) . A baker’s dozen to shoot Orson with a tranq dart, tag him and install the radio transmitter the next time Paul Finebaum writes the words "Urban", "Dame", "Catholic", "Meyer", "Pope", "Go", "Pope", "Is" and "Will". Oh, and two to put the wrong wattage bulb in and cause the inevitable tragic nightclub fire with the exits barred—unless the EDSBS Live apparatus does it first.

by Counter Trap on Aug 11, 2009 10:40 AM EDT reply actions

You seem to know too much Counter Trap…levels dart gun

by Philip on Aug 11, 2009 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

OldSouth wants a new poll to go with his freshly acquired Basil Hayden’s. It’s hard work to sit in a rocking hair whilst your unpaid servants fix you juleps all day long.

by OldSouth on Aug 11, 2009 11:43 AM EDT reply actions

How many Georgia Tech players does it take to change a light bulb?
01011001000110010111001000 and divide by Pi. Then 3 to discuss where electricity comes from and how it reached the filament by calculating the wattage by long division with one or more variables missing and why we can’t see electrons, and if they want to, wire the light bulb up to a potato for alternative energy.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Aug 11, 2009 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

Auburns sports matron and founder of their athletic program passes on:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32369161?GT1=43001

Too soon?

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Aug 11, 2009 11:58 AM EDT reply actions

Does this mean the first person to throw a forward pass invented the West Coast and run and shoot?

And they’re even trying it in college? You don’t say? Those NFL coaches are so inventive!

I’m about to move into that station’s broadcast area, and the youtube clip just lowered my already low expectations of finding intelligent cfb talk by about 90%.

by chg on Aug 11, 2009 12:01 PM EDT reply actions

Congratulations to Generic and the whole Channel 8 “news” “crew” for managing to get through an entire segment on Pop Warner and the Carlisle Indian School without managing a single word about probably the most dominant player in the history of the game, Jim Thorpe. They are truly the Hal Mumme of news. All the shiny objects, none of the actual… what’s it called… talent.

by Donald Douglas on Aug 11, 2009 12:11 PM EDT reply actions