BRANDON SPIKES IS TERRIFYING, ETC.

by Orson on Aug 11, 2009 4:14 PM EDT

My god, does Brandon Spikes look like he just got done with a six month deployment eating landmines in Tora Bora. He's obviously been fed straight rage hormone and velociraptor eggs for the offseason, mutating him further from his human self into a kind of hip-hop lumberjack Wolverine on a three week bender of bar-fighting and barehanded sustenance hunting. On further review, he may very well be the son of Professor Badass. He looks mean, like he's challenging the Ebola virus to hand-to-hand combat. He'd win.

Posting will resume bright and early tomorrow with an announcement at eight a.m. tomorrow regarding the site, ours truly, and the VERY FUTURE OF MANKIND ITSELF, or at least the site. It's all good news, much like Brandon Spikes and Tim Tebow talking about how much more awesome they could be still despite one of them continuing to wear the Orange And Blue Crocs of Divine and Oddly Spongy Inspiration. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to start scraping together $44,000 together for a Gator Den, and an extra $10K for the damage we'd do to it.

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A cynic might say he looks like he just wrapped up a six month cycle of steroids.

Swindle going pay-per-view? Say it ain’t so!

by ohiodawg on Aug 11, 2009 4:21 PM EDT reply actions

I’ll see your Brandon Spikes and raise you a Rolando McCain.

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2008/1118/ncf_u_mcclain_200.jpg

by der schatten on Aug 11, 2009 4:30 PM EDT reply actions

This cannot possibly be good news.

by Coop on Aug 11, 2009 4:58 PM EDT reply actions

I hate it when my wife tells me she’s going to tell me something really important in a little while. Just spit it out.

She can get away with it because I love her, and.. well, who am I kidding? You can get away with it too!

by Tim on Aug 11, 2009 5:23 PM EDT reply actions

Looks like Kimbo Slice with hair…

http://www.mmadailyscrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/kimbo_slice.jpg

by ALGator on Aug 11, 2009 5:25 PM EDT reply actions

Last time my girlfriend said she had to tell me some good news in the morning, she dropped the bomb that her dad would be staying with us for a couple of days while he was down for business.

by Kevin@LSU on Aug 11, 2009 5:27 PM EDT reply actions

Good news – Orson is paid by billionaire to continue his good works on EDSBS and EDSBS live begins coast to coast on a station near you.

Any other news – WTF

by Crabapple Buck on Aug 11, 2009 5:50 PM EDT reply actions

Coop says:

This cannot possibly be good news.

And that, little campers, is how you can rest absolutely assured everything’s going to be just fine. He’s like a weathervane.

by Holly on Aug 11, 2009 5:54 PM EDT reply actions

Less O, i.e. anyone else doing the writing, is not good news.

Also, Barbaro made the HOF today, so clearly this is the end of the funny sports blogs.

by Coop on Aug 11, 2009 6:10 PM EDT reply actions

Is that T.O. in the background of the Prof. Badass poster?

by BrooklynGator on Aug 11, 2009 6:12 PM EDT reply actions

I won’t be certain it’s good news until we get an Alabama threadjack.

by beerbaron on Aug 11, 2009 6:12 PM EDT reply actions

does this have to do with someone moving?

(I love 20 questions)

by vegas_buckeye on Aug 11, 2009 6:34 PM EDT reply actions

Speculation time:
- Having never played a down of NCAA eligible football, O is announcing he’s suiting up for Ga Tech while working on yet another useless degree
- O is becoming a polygamist and is announcing his engagement to Jim Tressel
- Announcing “EDSBS the Animated Series,” Fridays on Cartoon Network
- O found Jesus, and his name wasn’t Tebow
- LSU Freek, Orson and Holly are going to unite to form a super robot with fuck-lion arms. They will then commence their plan for world domination. But after the football season is over.

by vegas_buckeye on Aug 11, 2009 6:38 PM EDT reply actions

I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end of this year, we may say Reggie Nelson is hung like Brandon F’n Spikes.

by Rockabye Reggie Nelson on Aug 11, 2009 7:28 PM EDT reply actions

You’ve made a deal with the heads of the rest of the five families and Stranko Montana is coming back from Sicily?

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Aug 11, 2009 8:51 PM EDT reply actions

That’s what 18 years of growing up in Cleveland County will do to you. The SEC aint shit compared to the bad asses up around Casar in the South Mountains.

by yoyofutbawl on Aug 11, 2009 9:21 PM EDT reply actions