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Around SBN: The Amateur Mathematics Of Linsanity

COUNTDOWN 2009: 34

1.

Everything changes; nothing dies; the soul
Roams to and fro, now here, now there, and takes
What frame it will, passing from beast to man,
From our own form to beast and never dies.

2.

His ear had a real nasty cut and it was dangling from his head, bleeding badly. He grabbed his own ear and tried to yank it from his head. His teammates stopped him and the managers bandaged him. Man was that guy a tough one. He wanted to tear off his own ear so he could keep playing.

(HT: Nathan.)

A few site notes:

Star-divide

--Next week is the annual Swindle Beach Invasion. You will be in the competent and bloodstained hands of Doug and Holly next week, meaning Doug will feed you tasteful cheesecake, most likely, and Holly will feed you to the sharks. You'll love both. Spicy Livin' will return next week, as well, because we have to buy an assload of sunscreen and porn beach reading.

--The return week will begin HOT DAMN PREVIEW SEASON in earnest: more football-focused, faster, and revving up to the season. This includes the return of EDSBS Live. We once had a baby and we named it w00t. Rejoice.

--Thank you again for your enthusiastic, loving support of EDSBS. Cocktails to all of you.

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Comments

Display:

Hey, yeah, me too. Goin’ to the beach tomorrow. Hooray Beer!

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Jul 31, 2009 3:49 PM EDT reply actions  

Even Taylor Mays is scared of the Cerberus-back.

by BeaverJohn on Jul 31, 2009 4:08 PM EDT reply actions  

How in the holy hells did you choose to go with Bo’s body for 34? If there’s a more iconic running back than the real #34, I haven’t seen them. Hershel would eat him for breakfast. I won’t even get into the travesty of Williams being included in that group.

by Will on Jul 31, 2009 4:12 PM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, I’m not a big fan of the picture. Kinda unsettling. Although I do like the fact that Ricky is clearly distracted by food, or bright lights, or something over on the sidelines. Think the Bo and Herschel heads keep having to yell at him to pay attention? Me too.

by spartymike on Jul 31, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions  

“Although I do like the fact that Ricky is clearly distracted by food, or bright lights, or something over on the sidelines. "

Pretty sure he smelled some sweet cheeba in the stands.

by General Disarray on Jul 31, 2009 4:15 PM EDT reply actions  

Will—

Curran was yesterday, and we’re not doing two of any team in a row. Especially Georgia.

by Orson Swindle on Jul 31, 2009 4:21 PM EDT reply actions  

Looks like a Seminole helmet; not a G anyway.

by Sundawg on Jul 31, 2009 4:33 PM EDT reply actions  

Ahem. . . I believe the word I’m looking for is ARP!

Is it sad that I thought that was Earl Campbell’s head instead of the Masseuse?

by Silver Britches on Jul 31, 2009 4:34 PM EDT reply actions  

“His ear had a real nasty cut and it was dangling from his head, bleeding badly. He grabbed his own ear and tried to yank it from his head. His teammates stopped him and the managers bandaged him. Man was that guy a tough one. He wanted to tear off his own ear so he could keep playing.”

Who are they talking about and who’s talking?

by Danny Wuerffel's Helmet on Jul 31, 2009 5:11 PM EDT reply actions  

Are those Herschel’s other two personalities?

Great quote

by BottaGetta on Jul 31, 2009 5:33 PM EDT reply actions  

This picture becomes infinitely more entertaining when Herschel’s multiple personality disorder is taken into account.

by The Curse of Chan Gailey on Jul 31, 2009 5:40 PM EDT reply actions  

Doug will feed you tasteful cheesecake, most likely, and Holly will feed you to the sharks. You’ll love both.

This is so beyond accurate that it’d be simpler just to call it “canon”.

by Holly on Jul 31, 2009 5:49 PM EDT reply actions  

That’s the new design for Ricky’s three-bowled, four-hosed hookah, available this fall.

by Brizzle on Jul 31, 2009 8:00 PM EDT reply actions  

Leave Herschel alone! Besides, his other personalities wouldn’t be Bo and Ricky, you know that; they’d be Bo (not Luke) and Daisy. Put Hershel’s head and Bo Duke’s head on Daisy’s body in that bikini shot, of course, and there you go. Photoshop icon where are you. . .

by Andy on Jul 31, 2009 8:19 PM EDT reply actions  

@9 (and others)

Tuscaloosa’s Hargrove Van de Graaff was one tough hombre on the football field.

In a 1913 game against Tennessee, he nearly lost an ear.

It "had a real nasty cut and was dangling from his head, bleeding badly," Tennessee tackle Bull Bayer recalls in Winston Groom’s book, "The Crimson Tide." "He grabbed his ear and tried to yank it from his head. His teammates stopped him and his managers bandaged him … He wanted to tear off his own ear so he could keep playing."

Van de Graaff hung on to his ear and Alabama hung on to a 6-0 lead to beat the Vols.

by BamaTaxMan on Aug 1, 2009 12:17 AM EDT reply actions  

Sorry, forgot to attribute that to a Tuscaloosa News article (Google is my friend) – I thought at first it was Bully Van de Graff, but I was wrong.

(And yes, we DID play football at Bama prior to the Bear).

Nice quote Orson.

by BamaTaxMan on Aug 1, 2009 12:19 AM EDT reply actions  

Swindle Beach Invasion. I smell Ted Peters Smoked Mullet right now. And am jealous.

by yoyofutbawl on Aug 1, 2009 9:51 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, that ain’t a Georgia helmet.

by NRBQ on Aug 2, 2009 7:40 PM EDT reply actions  

@ Silver Britches:

I thought it was Campbell too. He was 34 with the Oilers.

The Weinsteins are cooking up a Hulk sequel where he battles the creature in that picture. And loses. Badly.
Of course, in the movie, it IS Campbell’s head, not Ricky’s.

by ronald on Aug 3, 2009 11:34 AM EDT reply actions  

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