CURIOUS INDEX, 7/30/2009
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An Orange Rod? We’re in! Hot rod, that is: That sweet Lambo ruined with a coat of Cheeto-puke orange is the centerpiece of a Tennessee poster sure to make the ladies pants evaporate and the men’s pants…well, the men’s pants will stay on the floor where they left them, cause a Tennessee man ain’t got much of a need for pants once he gets in the door, ma’am. Pour me a kerosene and be quick with it, missie, and water and hamburgers for my mule. (HT: Houston.) They’re not coaches. Coaches get Bike brand shorts, and these men don’t. The LA Times says USC may have violated NCAA regs, something an NCAA investigator agrees with, and Jim questions, and it all doesn’t matter because USC doesn’t whistle past the graveyard of programs the NCAA has buried with penalties, it hires a marching band and sets off fireworks while stomping by giddily. “My granddad would not pay me a dime.” Colt McCoy’s getaway last week sucked. This came out in the blurbs from Media Day yesterday, but watch it for the amusing sight of reporters asking “What’s involved in baling hay?”, a question Colt McCoy answers in excessive, polite detail. Joe Pa on Anthony Morelli: “(Daryll Clark) hadn’t played a lot of football before last year, and that probably was my fault. Jay Paterno, who coached the quarterbacks two years ago, wanted to play Clark more. I thought it would discourage the kid that we were using, and I thought that the kid we were using had the potential to be a good quarterback, and I blew that one.” Honesty: it hurts, but it’s nice to hear. Morelli, like Marco Ramius, did ultimately find solace in fishing, though. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WAC Media Days! Taste it! Yeah! [/bangsheadeightybilliontimes.] |
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1
Not You says:
When reached for comment, Coach Lane Kiffin responded only: “Yeah yeah, WILD BOYZ!”
July 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
2
beckett says:
wow Tennessee is gayer than one would think for being a southern state
July 30th, 2009 at 8:37 am
3
MaconDawg says:
beckett you know as well as I that there are no gay people in Tennessee. It’s the Iran of the old Confederacy, complete with spent nuclear fuel.
And while I’m no connoisseur, those guys don’t look quite as ripped as the guys in most of these shoots. Cornelius Ingram and Rennie Curran had bigger guns in the 6th grade.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:43 am
4
DanF says:
Poor Anthony.
You kind of have to feel bad for a guy who was the starting quarterback for two years at the current “#1 party school” in the country, and probably now would have trouble even getting someone to give him a beer up there.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:47 am
5
yoyofutbawl says:
At least the WAC has Media DAYS, not a Media DAY like the Beeg 1011, although Sun Valley would be a more desirable locale than Salt Lake.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:47 am
6
Doug says:
My first thought upon seeing the color of that Lamborghini was not “Cheeto puke” but rather “the color of my urine while I was in the hospital for back surgery and being pumped full of antibiotics on an hourly basis.” The thing is, that shit is factory original (the car’s paint job, not my pee). Lamborghini will put that color on a car FOR YOU if you want it.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:58 am
7
captg8r says:
They’re posing the annual Playgirl Football Preview edition. I leave the Ball St. joke out of this one.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:01 am
8
OhioDawg says:
That picture is UNCOMFORTABLY gay. That’s how I imagine a hardcore gay porn flick would open up. Ech.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:04 am
9
hobeg8r says:
Looking forward to the upcoming TN billboard.
http://www.gainesville.com/article/20090729/ARTICLES/907299920/0/SPORTS
I wonder what the over/under is on the # of days it lasts before it is shot up/vandalized/or otherwise “modified”?
July 30th, 2009 at 9:09 am
10
captg8r says:
The cheese factor is off the charts. Never mind the fact that they look like they just walked off the set of Olivia Newton-John’s “Let’s Get Physical” video. This is a bad 80’s cliche all around with the shirts off, sports car and heavy chain. The video is awesome. Are we sure this isn’t a Chippendales poster? Now I’m dying to see what this “surprise” billboard from Lane in South Florida is going to look like. Please, please be this image.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:10 am
11
Coop says:
Thank you for the BIKE shorts reference. I pass a high school on the way home every day and they have been running 7 on 7 drills all summer. It passes for football while waiting on the stop lights. Anyway, I like to think their coaches still wear those shorts, with their massive guts hanging over them, reminding their kids they received no, “bleep bleep bleeping water breaks,” during their heydays.
Or, I think that is how we all remember it.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:12 am
12
Kevin@LSU says:
As an LSU fan, I have never been so pumped up for another rival’s game as I am for the Tennessee Florida game. It will be ugly for Tennessee. In fact, I’ll be so bold as to say it’ll be like watch a car accident happened in front of my eyes, next to a burning house.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:14 am
13
The Tusk says:
That can’t be a *current* poster for UT. It’s got to be from the 80s, right?
BTW, what the hell are they all looking up for?
July 30th, 2009 at 9:15 am
14
Claws says:
this could only be gayer if it involved guy-on-guy bjs and roller blades.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:16 am
15
etsuVol says:
Yeah that pic is SOOOO GAY right?
btw where can I find a bigger one so I can make it my computer wallpaper?
July 30th, 2009 at 9:18 am
16
Geaux Irish says:
The last line of that article re: Kiffykin’s new billboard is just priceless.
“As for Florida, there are no plans to put up any billboards. Winning two national championships in the past three years has given the Gators plenty of exposure.”
There’s nothing like a partisan writer to get a not-so-subtle dig into the copy.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:24 am
17
Reed says:
The dude all the way on the right is totally doing the “suck in gut and puff out chest when Lacy Underall walks into the pool area during the caddies’ 15 minutes of funtime” thing. Not that I looked at this picture way too closely. Um, never mind.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:48 am
18
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
You can’t feel too bad for Morelli, though. Like Ramius, he too got his power when his predecessor slipped on some tea.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:59 am
19
zzgator says:
Clearly those players are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
No way they agreed to that with a sound mind.
And I like how the article says being in the poster is a “reward” for working out all summer.
July 30th, 2009 at 10:07 am
20
WarChiziken says:
our 6th grade peewee football team had more chest hair than that those Vols
….wait, you mean they did that on purpose?….whoa….*shudder*
July 30th, 2009 at 10:16 am
21
MorningBeer says:
That picture of all those muscle men is tasty. Once again, we thank you.
-The Editors of “Out.”
July 30th, 2009 at 10:30 am
22
Vol says:
Reed @ 17-
I think that’s Nick Stephens. Cut him a break. He probably has self esteem issues as a result of having to walk around with the label “second string behind Jonathan Crompton.” I wonder if Berry will be wielding that big chain on the field this fall.
July 30th, 2009 at 10:46 am
23
spartymike says:
@ #18 WSR:
I can absolutely believe the only way Morelli got his job was murdering his way up the depth chart.
July 30th, 2009 at 11:33 am
24
BennyBeav says:
I realize you guys are pretty busy, what with working through the latent homoeroticism of southern culture and all, but not even a mention of Pac-10 media day?
July 30th, 2009 at 11:39 am
25
ben hill gryphon says:
What is with the epidemic of shirtlessness at UT since Kiffykins arrived. I’m starting to wonder he’s looking to ancient Sparta for tips on making the team ‘closer’.
And I demand to know why Da Coach O isn’t doing a Tawny Kitaen on the hood of that car.
July 30th, 2009 at 11:52 am
26
King Harvest says:
That picture has got to be a joke. What is it with Kiffen? Does he just not care? Nobody can be that out of touch. Maybe xtranormal Fulmer was right that ut now has “an insane child running the program”.
July 30th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
27
TheDeuce69 says:
hobeg8r #9 That WAS the picture for the billboard in South Florida. They have to market to their demographic!
Did anyone see the pic of Orgeron at the photoshoot?? http://www.partyeastcarolina.com/photos/fullsize/11407.jpg
July 30th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
28
hobeg8r says:
Deuce @27 – you said: “They have to market to their demographic!”
According to the G’ville Sun – it is going up in South Florida. If it’s placed on I-95 in Palm Beach County, it will be targeted to a bunch of transplanted [New York] Jewish guys who drive I-95. If it is really south (in northern Latin America a/k/a Miami), then it probably should be bi-lingual. If – on SR 27 heading into Pahokee, it will be for the migrant worker/US Sugar [cane] crowd. I’m guessing Lane wants to target the SR27 group (Pahokee/Belle Glade demographic). As much as I’ve driven SR27, I honestly don’t remember seeing any billboards along the road. (Except the McDonald’s sign). He’ll fit right in.
July 30th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
29
Stan Gable says:
I don’t like UT…but I do respect a college football traditional power. My word, you Vols have to run that loopy little bastard out of the SEC post haste. This is truly embarassing….How many times do we have to watch you Vol fans stare at the ground and say “I like Coach Kiffin” through gritted teeth……
July 30th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
30
etsuVol says:
I’ll just say, he better win some gd games…..
July 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
31
Eric says:
‘Course he was balin’ hay. You’re not allowed to shoot buckaroos down in the street for sassin’ your lady-friend any more, so what else is a fella named Colt McCoy supposed to do?
July 30th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
32
Sir Elton John says:
Orson,
That UT pic is over-the-top gay.
Sincerely,
“Sir” Elton John
July 30th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
33
fattus says:
Speaking of gay and the WAC:
http://voices.idahostatesman.com/2009/07/30/ccripe/hawaii_coach_uses_gay_slur_reference_notre_dame
July 30th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
34
Sundawg says:
Nice Red October reference; {former SSBN 619 quartermaster}
July 30th, 2009 at 9:58 pm