COUNTDOWN 2009: 35
The first warp-spasm seized Cúchulainn, and made him into a monstrous thing, hideous and shapeless, unheard of. His shanks and his joints, every knuckle and angle and organ from head to foot, shook like a tree in the flood or a reed in the stream. His body made a furious twist inside his skin, so that his feet and shins switched to the rear and his heels and calves switched to the front… On his head the temple-sinews stretched to the nape of his neck, each mighty, immense, measureless knob as big as the head of a month-old child… he sucked one eye so deep into his head that a wild crane couldn’t probe it onto his cheek out of the depths of his skull; the other eye fell out along his cheek. His mouth weirdly distorted: his cheek peeled back from his jaws until the gullet appeared, his lungs and his liver flapped in his mouth and throat, his lower jaw struck the upper a lion-killing blow, and fiery flakes large as a ram’s fleece reached his mouth from his throat… The hair of his head twisted like the tange of a red thornbush stuck in a gap; if a royal apple tree with all its kingly fruit were shaken above him, scarce an apple would reach the ground but each would be spiked on a bristle of his hair as it stood up on his scalp with rage.










1
Anonymous IV says:
Great usage of a quote from the Táin Bó Cúailnge.
I also recommend any book with the illustrations of Angus McBride.
Celtic Warriors by Tim Newark has a great illustration of Cú Chulainn on his chariot destroying everything in his path.
July 30th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
2
Billy Ocean says:
So does Brian still hate these?
July 30th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
3
Andy says:
I also recommend that Rudy bows down before the one he serves, he’s going to get what he deserves. A dry-heat head like a hole!
July 30th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
4
Coop says:
John Wooden as the #1 coach of all time? What? You people are headquartered in CLT and you went with John Wooden?
I hate DC Trojan and that guy, like all the other SC fans and all college basketball fans with a remote sense of knowledge, knows the name Sam Gilbert. John Wooden was a dirty, lying, cheating, POS and Wooden could cry plausible deniability until the cows came home but he knows what he allowed to happen.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
5
jd says:
thought this was the transcript from the new “drinking out of cups video”
July 30th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
6
Sundawg says:
I think I dated her in college: the description sounds (feels) familiar.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
7
Dawgus Sweeney says:
As a Savannah Irish Catholic, there were 2 things I went to bed to as a child: stories of Irish mythology and Cúchulainn and Larry Munson highlight tapes.
July 30th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
8
Brizzle says:
Just a random thought I had the other day, what with all the hype over Tebow’s virginity: Put a bushy mustache on the dude and he’s a burly Ned Flanders.
July 31st, 2009 at 3:55 am
9
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
But… it’s a dry heat.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:21 am
10
Biggus Rickus says:
The fact that Tebow is still a virgin despite UF coeds throwing themselves at him on a daily basis proves one of two things: A) He really is Jesus. B) He’s the kind of crazy Christian you want to punch in the face on general principle. I suppose it could also be proof that my dad is right about him being gay.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:33 am
11
ALGator says:
@Biggus – that post makes you appear to be a fool.
BRING ON THE INDEX! INDEX! INDEX! INDEX!
July 31st, 2009 at 8:38 am
12
Biggus Rickus says:
Right, because I was being totally serious about the prospect that he is Jesus, that punching people in the face is a normal response to Christianity, or that my dad is in any way sane.
July 31st, 2009 at 9:18 am
13
Biggus Rickus says:
That said, I find it really weird that he’s still a virgin.
July 31st, 2009 at 9:20 am