COUNTDOWN 2009: 35

by Orson on Jul 30, 2009 4:38 PM EDT

The first warp-spasm seized Cúchulainn, and made him into a monstrous thing, hideous and shapeless, unheard of. His shanks and his joints, every knuckle and angle and organ from head to foot, shook like a tree in the flood or a reed in the stream. His body made a furious twist inside his skin, so that his feet and shins switched to the rear and his heels and calves switched to the front... On his head the temple-sinews stretched to the nape of his neck, each mighty, immense, measureless knob as big as the head of a month-old child... he sucked one eye so deep into his head that a wild crane couldn't probe it onto his cheek out of the depths of his skull; the other eye fell out along his cheek. His mouth weirdly distorted: his cheek peeled back from his jaws until the gullet appeared, his lungs and his liver flapped in his mouth and throat, his lower jaw struck the upper a lion-killing blow, and fiery flakes large as a ram's fleece reached his mouth from his throat... The hair of his head twisted like the tange of a red thornbush stuck in a gap; if a royal apple tree with all its kingly fruit were shaken above him, scarce an apple would reach the ground but each would be spiked on a bristle of his hair as it stood up on his scalp with rage.

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Great usage of a quote from the Táin Bó Cúailnge.
I also recommend any book with the illustrations of Angus McBride.
Celtic Warriors by Tim Newark has a great illustration of Cú Chulainn on his chariot destroying everything in his path.

by Anonymous IV on Jul 30, 2009 5:09 PM EDT reply actions

So does Brian still hate these?

by Billy Ocean on Jul 30, 2009 8:11 PM EDT reply actions

I also recommend that Rudy bows down before the one he serves, he’s going to get what he deserves. A dry-heat head like a hole!

by Andy on Jul 30, 2009 8:42 PM EDT reply actions

John Wooden as the #1 coach of all time? What? You people are headquartered in CLT and you went with John Wooden?

I hate DC Trojan and that guy, like all the other SC fans and all college basketball fans with a remote sense of knowledge, knows the name Sam Gilbert. John Wooden was a dirty, lying, cheating, POS and Wooden could cry plausible deniability until the cows came home but he knows what he allowed to happen.

by Coop on Jul 30, 2009 9:43 PM EDT reply actions

thought this was the transcript from the new “drinking out of cups video”

by jd on Jul 30, 2009 9:47 PM EDT reply actions

I think I dated her in college: the description sounds (feels) familiar.

by Sundawg on Jul 30, 2009 10:33 PM EDT reply actions

As a Savannah Irish Catholic, there were 2 things I went to bed to as a child: stories of Irish mythology and Cúchulainn and Larry Munson highlight tapes.

by Dawgus Sweeney on Jul 30, 2009 11:15 PM EDT reply actions

Just a random thought I had the other day, what with all the hype over Tebow’s virginity: Put a bushy mustache on the dude and he’s a burly Ned Flanders.

by Brizzle on Jul 31, 2009 4:55 AM EDT reply actions

But… it’s a dry heat.

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Jul 31, 2009 9:21 AM EDT reply actions

The fact that Tebow is still a virgin despite UF coeds throwing themselves at him on a daily basis proves one of two things: A) He really is Jesus. B) He’s the kind of crazy Christian you want to punch in the face on general principle. I suppose it could also be proof that my dad is right about him being gay.

by Biggus Rickus on Jul 31, 2009 9:33 AM EDT reply actions

@Biggus – that post makes you appear to be a fool.

BRING ON THE INDEX! INDEX! INDEX! INDEX!

by ALGator on Jul 31, 2009 9:38 AM EDT reply actions

Right, because I was being totally serious about the prospect that he is Jesus, that punching people in the face is a normal response to Christianity, or that my dad is in any way sane.

by Biggus Rickus on Jul 31, 2009 10:18 AM EDT reply actions