The battery on TCOAN’s car died, so we’re off to the rescue, go-cup of Mai-Tai in hand. (When champagne comes in convenient can form–and we’re not talking that saccharine Coppola shit, either–we’ll take that instead.)

Quick things deserving address:

–Pac-10 Media Days, What! Watch the linked stream as every single coach and their players run back-to-back today. Steve Sarkisian, like Lane Kiffin, is a Carroll clone who speaks very quickly no matter the question. Oh, you can also tweet in questions here.

–Conference USA is having their media days in an all-virtual setting, and Graham Watson is doing an extremely entertaining job covering the spasms of doing a media event with live mikes and technical strokes happening all over the place. “One of the media members, maybe not know his line was open, just said, “This isn’t going very well.”"

–USF just became eligible for the Team Fulmer Cup award, and is now likely tied. No formal award yet, but if the usual one point suspended license sum applies, they would be tied at 17 with Hawaii. Since we don’t like ties, we’ll have to have some kind of method of breaking this unholy arrangement.

–Also: seen, and points to be assessed in separate entry.