BLAME IT ON THE PER-PER-PER-PER-PER-PERSONNEL
by Orson on Jul 29, 2009 12:29 PM EDT
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PrintScene: The post Big Ten Media Day dinner at Gibson's Steakhouse in Chicago. Rich Rodriguez is dining at a table with several Michigan types. Jamie Foxx sits down at the table next to Rich Rodriguez.
RR: Hey! Weren't you in Booty Call?
JF: Among other things, yeah, man.
RR: I remember that. You put a rubber glove on your stuff instead of a condom. That was GREAT.
JF: Thank you. What do you do?
RR: Well, I coach football. At the University of Michigan. But we had a pretty bad year last year.
RR looks hurt. He trails off.
JF: Hey, now. Let's turn that frown upside down. You can talk about it.
RR: Naw, it's...it's difficult for me. It was so painful.
JF: It can't be that bad, man.
RR: (pauses) We lost to Toledo.
JF: Oh, now, I didn't know it was like that. You're gonna have to sing that one out.
RR: I'm sorry?
JF: It's the only way you'll feel better about it. I'll drop the beat for you, and you can just sing it. You heard my hit song, "Blame it on the Alcohol?"
RR: Have I? You bet. Gary Moeller loves that jam.
JF: Well, I just lay the track down like this...
RR: Really, I don't know if I could...
Sultry drum machine kicks in. Rich Rod pulls an autotuned mike from his pocket.
RR: Blame it on the backs
Small and full-a lack
Blame it on the line
Fat and lackin' spine
Blame it on the per-per-per-per-per-personnel
Blame it on the per-per, per-per-per, per-per-per-per-per-per--
You say you usually don't
Or that you usually won't
But you're just frontin, cause last year lost to a team straight from the MAC...
I ain't saying we ain't goin' to
With One freshman qb and maybe two
But it could happen 'cause we're still slow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow
I know what you're thinkin'
Michigan be stinkin'
Every single weekend
Freakin'
Out on the message boards sayin' I'm in trouble
Ain't all my fault if my screens are all bubbles
Lose to Notre Dame--what?
Coach that got a gunt-what?
You don't even care now
I was unaware now just
How thin this roster was before I bailed on Morgantowwwwwn...
Blame it on the guards
Blame it on the tackles
Blame it on protection best described as ramshackle
Blame it on the per-per-per-per-per-personnel
Blame it on the per-per-per-per-per-personnel
Blame it on Navarre
Blame it on the Henne
Blame it on the qb who run a six-fiddy
Blame it on the per-per-per-per-per-personnel
Blame it on the per-per, per-per-per, per-per-per-per-per-per--
Music stops.
JF: Man, that was impressive. Have you been practicing that?
RR: Oh, only for about a year and a half now.
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I’m gonna assume that was just an excuse for the Henne/Henny pun, right?
by jryansims on Jul 29, 2009 12:49 PM EDT reply actions
No, not at all. (Once we imagined Schembechler still tippin’ and poppin’ bottles? Yes.)
by Orson Swindle on Jul 29, 2009 12:59 PM EDT up reply actions
No real great place to post this but an Interesting article on $$ and the conferences…and the gap between the haves and have-nots. I guess it’s true when they saw the recession has not yet hit the SEC and some of the Big 10.
by hobeg8r on Jul 29, 2009 1:09 PM EDT reply actions
“Blame it on the qb who run a six-fiddy”
Strength and conditioning coach Eric Lichter deemed [Terrelle] Pryor as the fastest Buckeye with a reported 40-yard dash time of 4.33. That is not a misprint.
Cry, DickRod, cry.
by RedDevilEA on Jul 29, 2009 1:30 PM EDT reply actions
This was genius. I just wish there was a wizard hat on RR somewhere. Snake oil for everyone!
by Crabapple Buck on Jul 29, 2009 1:40 PM EDT reply actions
“Blame it on the guards
Blame it on the tackles
Blame it on protection best described as ramshackle”
I’m having a bottle of Crystal sent to your table immediately.
by Grib on Jul 29, 2009 2:09 PM EDT reply actions
Is this freek’s first work of Michigan art? I feel blessed
by Big Boutros on Jul 29, 2009 2:11 PM EDT reply actions
Gee, this is painful. Can we talk about our proud history and tradition? Not good enough? No sugarcoat, you say? Can we talk about how smart we are? We are smart, you know. We pay an exorbitant amount of money for an education you could get by watching the Discovery Channel, after all.
Some day, all of you will be working for a U of M grad.
by Wolverine Main Man on Jul 29, 2009 2:15 PM EDT reply actions
+Eleventy billion to you Swindle. Nice work.
by Ninja Football on Jul 29, 2009 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
This needs a guest verse from Marky M. Maybe on the remix.
by Signal to Noise on Jul 29, 2009 2:36 PM EDT reply actions
Watching Bo raise his glass and Brady’s expression made this x10. Nice Freek.
by Scotthany on Jul 29, 2009 2:56 PM EDT reply actions
I opened up the original on youtube and put it in the background. The video syncs up real nice with the
Freek’s creation. Singing the replacement lyrics is even more fun. Either being off in the summer is the greatest
thing ever or I am a big loser.
by Zook Line and Sinker on Jul 29, 2009 3:05 PM EDT reply actions
This is indeed awesome. If it wouldn’t give me a seizure, I’d want that gif to be my wallpaper. We up North have truly been honored by Freek.
Oh, and #6, many are aware that OSU has a magical track (or magical stopwatches) that produces similarly jaw-dropping numbers every year during the Buckeye pro day. Pryor is a seriously fast dude. But I’ll eat my hat if he runs in the 4.3s at the Combine.
Actually, we’re the team who might have a QB who legitimately runs in the 4.3s coming in this year – Denard Robinson, who ran a 10.44 100M in Florida this year. Of course, unlike Pryor, he’s 5’11".
by STW P. Brabbs on Jul 29, 2009 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
Is Brady screaming ’cause Giselle just saw him wif a ho??
by General Disarray on Jul 29, 2009 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
This was fantastic. It wasn’t as good as Houston Nutt’s “that’s a seven and a three,” but it was good.
Orson, please tell me you’ve got something in the works for Nutt later in the season…
by Hawgustus Caesar on Jul 29, 2009 3:30 PM EDT reply actions
Freek,
I want to know, yet know it is probably best I never know what you do for a living. On the web you are a god.
by tzubear on Jul 29, 2009 3:41 PM EDT reply actions
I cannot state with enough emphasis, This. Is. Epic.
Rack him.
(I hate JR)
by Son of Zoltan on Jul 29, 2009 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
I am sure one of the verses omitted here includes a reference to “you Buckeye bum go take a crap in your cooler”
it just has to be…
by WarChiziken on Jul 29, 2009 4:29 PM EDT reply actions
@13
Welp, at least our education is equivalent to the Discovery Channel. That of THE Buckeye Community College? At best, Nickelodeon.
by B on Jul 29, 2009 4:32 PM EDT reply actions
Nice little diddy. Please! The SEC is in its golden age now. Michigan and the Big 10 has had platinum, gold,
silver, bronze, iron ages in sports, especially so in football.
The SEC is just a little nuisance the will eventually pass away.
Remember Miami, Florida St., ND, and Nebraska! Come and gone, they are! Besides this is a new beginning for
the next age of Michigan. Keep talking garbage and that money you saw flying around in your little photoshop
project will be used to pay for another atheletic building, after Michigan whips you in the National Championship
game in 2011. You need to deal with Florida. Michigan did it in Jan. 2008.
by Johnny Geux Lately on Jul 29, 2009 5:16 PM EDT reply actions
Don’t blame Johnny. He’s slinging waffles in a rib joint.
by Orson Swindle on Jul 29, 2009 9:29 PM EDT reply actions
Orson and Freek,
Bravo, sirs. Best thing I’ve seen on the intertubes in some time.
by Jivas on Jul 29, 2009 9:32 PM EDT reply actions
Johnny, check the collegefootballdatawarehouse conference rankings for every quarter century of the modern era( the time period in which the Ivy is irrelevant). Then take you lesson and like it.
by Chg on Jul 29, 2009 10:59 PM EDT reply actions
“A year and a half”? Au contrare, DickRod sang that tune for years at WVU: stuffed by USF in ‘06? The players didn’t execute. Hammered by Pitt AND USF in ‘07? The players didn’t execute.
It couldn’t ever have been the game plan or lack of halftime adjustments, no. It’s ALWAYS been the per-per-per-personnel.
by An 'eer with a Beer on Jul 29, 2009 10:59 PM EDT reply actions
yet another reason this is one of my favorite web sites… you guys crack me up
by josh on Jul 30, 2009 9:11 AM EDT reply actions
So did Bruce Feldman link to this or did he just straight rip it off? Headline on ESPN.com front page: "Feldman: Rich Rod, humming “Blame It” now". It’s Insider, so I can’t see what he actually wrote.
by gatorsftw on Jul 30, 2009 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
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