12 QUESTIONS NOT ASKED AT BIG 12 MEDIA DAYS
by Orson on Jul 28, 2009 1:34 PM EDT
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PrintThe requisite list of questions what went sadly unasked and unanswered at Big 12 Media Days.
"Coach Stoops, can you step away from the Dr. Pepper please? Dr. Pepper...is for closers."
"Mack Brown, you've know success at every level of college football, but CAN YOU DANCE?" (Cranks music, storms stage with the following crew of people, midget included.)
"Coach Gundy, does the radio-detonator T. Boone Pickens implanted in your skull explain your violent outbursts? And will my cellphone ringtone set it off BOOOM!!!"
"Coach Hawkins, any advice on how to go about properly benching your own son?"
"Coach Briles, what is your side hustle? Mine's selling Orleagian snow cones out of a truck on the corner of Ponce and Morleland. Yours?"
"Coach Rhoads, does disappointment taste like Ames, or Dave Wannstedt? Or Dave Wannstedt IN Ames? Explain."
"Coach Pinkel, acoachwhoseteamcontinuallyfoldsdownthestretchsayswhat?"
"Coach Mangino, do you know any good realtors? Or can you recommend a quality champagne?"
"Coach Leach, I'm taping this. Please start talking."
"Coach Sherman, I'd...I can't. I just want to slit my wrists just looking at you."
"Coach Snyder, thank you for coming. I SAID THANK YOU FOR COMING SIR. I SAID--"
"Coach Pelini, which was harder? Learning to play the organ for Minority Report or scraping Nebraska football off a deserted highway? And can you power clean this for me? (Points to Mangino.)"
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This post was funny, but i’m still daydreaming about the blonde in the purple bikini in yesterday’s Matthew Stafford piece…
by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Jul 28, 2009 1:40 PM EDT reply actions
Well, she’s right down the page if you ever get lonely, next to Matt Stafford’s gigantor of a head.
by Orson Swindle on Jul 28, 2009 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
Those snow cones are delicious. Right next to the guy selling boiled peanuts and vegetables.
by SmoothJimmyApollo on Jul 28, 2009 2:03 PM EDT reply actions
The idea of Bob Stoops in a Mamet play just blew my head off. Can you flesh this idea out, Orson? Perhaps with Freek putting Professor Stoops’ head on Jack Lemon’s body?
by decemberist on Jul 28, 2009 2:43 PM EDT reply actions
So, your position boils down to, “hot college aged girls on the Internet, or runners or file clerks here for the summer, are a dime a dozen, but Stafford has an unusually large head?”
Yeah, hetero America sides with the pictures of the girls.
by Coop on Jul 28, 2009 2:53 PM EDT reply actions
Tuesday Trivia: Which is larger, Matthew Stafford’s head or the Evony broad’s titties? Discuss……
by Stan Gable on Jul 28, 2009 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
man, that video was…. surreal
and that white chick… another reason to be embarrassed about my race….piiitifullll
by WarChiziken on Jul 28, 2009 3:45 PM EDT reply actions
Great statement about the SEC today on ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt show, comparing the conferences to cuts of meat:
http://uselessdebate.wordpress.com/2009/07/28/the-sec-is-filet/
by mm on Jul 28, 2009 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
USF freshman LB arrested for DWLS. He’s already taking classes, so this should put them over the top, no?
http://blogs.tampabay.com/usf/2009/07/freshman-lb-arrested-for-suspended-license.html
by Astro on Jul 28, 2009 4:54 PM EDT reply actions
I can’t seem to find this picture of Stafford’s giant head that keeps being referenced. I keep getting lost in a giant pair of funsacks.
by dawg 05 on Jul 28, 2009 5:00 PM EDT reply actions
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