FULMER CUPDATE: WASHINGTON STATE, SAY ALOHA TO FIRST PLACE

by Orson on Jul 27, 2009 4:16 PM EDT

This week's Fulmer Cupdate and the Big Board are brought to you by Brian, who remains hung like Sir Reggie Nelson of Concussionville, and by Doc Bottom's Aspray, helping you keep your ass minty fresh since 2008. Enjoy.

Not even this, mind you. Washington State struggles to win even this game, as the dismissal of all charges in the theft of several bikes--ruled not stolen, but instead taken after being "abandoned"--knocks the Cougars down 12 points and back behind the overall team leader, the Hawai'i Warriors, who would notice this were they not busy enjoying a life in our nation's earthly paradise.* Remember that USF's 17 points all stem from the outstanding and appalling work of one Trent Pupello, a man whose deep passion for pistol-whippin' singlehandedly netted 27 points for the South Florida Bulls.

Barring an arrest for USF not attributable to Pupello, they will not be eligible for the Fulmer Cup team championship. Pupello will instead be this year's clear front runner for the Ellis T. Jones III Award for Individual Excellence, while Hawaii will slip into the lead in what has been a comparatively quiet Fulmer Cup season.

Supenzor'd! Dustin Doe would pick up just one point as a suspended license type, but thanks to our home field policy the Most Favored Gator Nation earns two points rather than one for the charge. Still not enough to get them on the big board after charges of affray against Janoris Jenkins were dismissed, but hold your fire: a month remains, and once they return to campus, the buffet of late night stupidity is hot, steaming, and ready for willing diners to begin serving themselves.

* just behind Shreveport, Louisiana for this title.

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WSU blowing a late lead. Unlike the football season where they never have a lead to blow. USF has to have someone capable of stupidity on that team to push them into the big time. I’m sure Dog the Bounty Hunter is keeping a lid on any further violations in Hawaii. School starts soon for many. Points a plenty for a fast finish.

by Crabapple Buck on Jul 27, 2009 4:39 PM EDT reply actions

If USF holds on, that guy should win the “Jimmy Johns MVA award” (most valuable arrest). Jimmy set the standard for winning a Fulmer Cup for one school in a single-bound

by StuBone on Jul 27, 2009 4:43 PM EDT reply actions

“Remember that USF’s 27 points all stem from the outstanding and appalling work of one Trent Pupello, a man whose deep passion for pistol-whippin’ singlehandedly netted 27 points for the South Florida Bulls”

I don’t know how much pistlewhipping it would take to get a whopping 27 points, but from the big board it looks like you gave him 10 extra in your write up.

by NatiJacket on Jul 27, 2009 4:52 PM EDT reply actions

Whens the official end date for our championship? The wednesday night before kick-off thursday?

by beckett on Jul 27, 2009 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

It’s official: Penn State edges Florida as the number one team in all the land:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/27/top-party-schools-list-pr_n_245601.html

by ohiodawg on Jul 27, 2009 5:00 PM EDT reply actions

Couged it

by BennyBeav on Jul 27, 2009 5:12 PM EDT reply actions

Don’t be so sure on that… didn’t USF go the entire 2008 offseason without scoring any points? They’d be approaching a two-year arrest-free streak if not for that mulleted pistol-whipping knucklehead Pupello.

by JD on Jul 27, 2009 7:57 PM EDT reply actions

As a Hawaii resident, I just want to say that I am avoiding Manoa and the Zanzabar nightclub in Waikiki for the time being. Any of you who have visited our fair island know what I’m talking about.

by AZDuck on Jul 28, 2009 2:20 AM EDT reply actions

Mein Fuhrer of the CFB Felonies. I feel that a special award/commendation should be given to Huntley Johnson who without a doubt is UF’s MVP of the Fulmer Cup season. Do we have any idea of how many points Mr. Johnson is responsible for erasing from the Fulmer Cup totals?

by lawdawg1919 on Jul 28, 2009 9:02 AM EDT reply actions

We will take this under advisement.

by Orson Swindle on Jul 28, 2009 9:32 AM EDT up reply actions

I am from Shreveport and I’m offended. Where else can you combine so many elements from LA, AR, MS, TX into one area? Then throw in gambling, booze, good food, political corruption, high crime, and a mass cluster fuck of competing college football interests. It has to be paradise.

by dmaygator on Jul 28, 2009 9:16 AM EDT reply actions

Georgia’s bizarro offseason continues unabated. Is Vespa another victim of the economy and someone just forgot to report it?

by Jason on Jul 28, 2009 11:09 AM EDT reply actions

Shouldn’t South Carolinas points be adjusted for the charges against C.C Whitlock being dropped? Or is it just easier to leave them up there until we gain them back in a few weeks?

by Donkey Punch on Jul 28, 2009 4:56 PM EDT reply actions