TEXAS A&M'S BREAK-IN SOLVED

by Orson on Jul 23, 2009 1:32 PM EDT

Texas A&M's locker room mystery has been solved, and the "Eyes of Texas" left in tape on the floor was all a clever ruse by a disgruntled employee administrators refuse to name. We have no guesses as to who this could be, either, but Mike Sherman does have one goal for this season: to see every last member of the team in blubbering tears:

.He said a big priority has been "recruiting the right guys" to the program and that, "When we do lose a game, I want guys with tears in their eyes."

Now that's setting reasonable goals, especially if you recruit the mentally unstable. (It worked for Oklahoma in the mid-80s.) . If you'll pardon us, we have to go back to mooning over Urban Meyer, who's on stage right now. We think we got the lettering written the right way across our eyelids. It does say "LOVE YOU" when we blink, right?

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Are there enough tears in the average human tear duct to fulfill Mike Sherman’s wishes? I mean they did lose to Baylor and Arkansas State last year.

by JD on Jul 23, 2009 2:12 PM EDT reply actions

You’re going to have to fight Marcus & Marion for Urban’s love, Orson.

by robert on Jul 23, 2009 2:28 PM EDT reply actions

A reminder to Mike Sherman: Bear coached at A&M, too, and is just as likely to smite you in College Station for being a 7-year-old girl (see, Curry, Bill).

by Counter Trap on Jul 23, 2009 3:14 PM EDT reply actions

“It does say "LOVE YOU" when we blink, right?”

Absolutely it does, but all that mascara makes you look a bit trashy. If your near the front, try to show a little thigh….t’s ok, Urbsy likes a little trashy….fawn

by Zimmerman on Jul 24, 2009 3:34 AM EDT reply actions

The same article with the blubbering tears actually mentions a source that said the break-in was not an employee but a “former player who recently left the team”.

by Brian @ 40 Acres Sports on Jul 26, 2009 10:30 PM EDT reply actions