SEC MEDIA DAYS NOTES, VOL 1

by Orson on Jul 22, 2009 12:53 PM EDT

Things that TOTALLY happened in the first fifteen minutes of SEC Media Days.

--Bobby Petrino glamoured a reporter into asking him to recite all fifty capitals of the United States, because he's still totally proud he can do that on command.

--Clay Travis got into a fistfight with an enraged Paul Finebaum, and was choked out in a matter of seconds by the Birmingham Battler, who then penned a column that every SEC coach would simply sit in silence for 30 minutes at the podium because they were SKURRED OF WHUT NICK SAYBAN GONE THANK.

--Rich Brooks enjoyed a fine scotch, looked to the east, and remembered the smell of jasmine in the air, the sultry air of Luzon on his flesh, and the eyes of Maria, the one he could never possess. A single tear streamed down his cheek, and on his lips a single, almost inaudible word: "Bullshit." We saw this in person, we swear.

--Pat Forde walked by and smelled of money, hearty midwestern values, and well-aged beef.

--We acquired an itchy lanyard!

We swear at least one of these ACTUALLY HAPPENED. More is happening over at TSB and on Twitter, so strap in and enjoy the stream of non-news news. How crazy is it, you ask? We requested a peephole enabled room, that's how crazy we are. You'll all find out about handy 220 volt plug located on our inner thigh, an amenity we had way before the Pontiac Vibe bit our style.

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Orson, you can write my obituary. But please write it as if my name were Rich Brooks.

by True on Jul 22, 2009 12:56 PM EDT reply actions

This is Rich Brooks.

by Bullshit on Jul 22, 2009 1:10 PM EDT reply actions

Orson is actually at the SC Legislature and he has Brooks confused with Mark Sanford.

by GamecockTony on Jul 22, 2009 2:21 PM EDT reply actions

- Steve Spurrier missed the first two-thirds of a scheduled Q&A session due to a weather-delayed tee time, and then spent the remainder of his allotted time taking awkward verbal swipes at Dabo “Sweeney” (not in attendance, for obvious reasons).

- Mark Richt joined a fit-looking Danny Wuerffel at the traditional prayer breakfast, which Nick Saban described as a “f*cking joke.” Tony Franklin “just happened” to be staying at the same hotel and stopped several reporters to comment about how “phony” it all was, “even worse than when Tommy ’n ’em used to be here.”

by Double Dawg Dare Ya on Jul 22, 2009 3:51 PM EDT reply actions

What room is erin andrews in at the Wynfrey? I’m just sayin…..

by Ramblin Dreck on Jul 22, 2009 3:53 PM EDT reply actions

We acquired an itchy lanyard!

I think there’s a shot to cure that.

by I R A Darth Aggie on Jul 22, 2009 3:54 PM EDT reply actions

I think you guys are off-base that Finebaum is an Alabama lackey. He drew the ire of many Bama fans in the Shula days because he thought he was a joke from the start (which he was on point). He’s just a pot-stirrer and wanted to either piss off Gator fans or get Alabama fans on the “CUM on ND” gravy train.

by rgw on Jul 22, 2009 5:14 PM EDT reply actions

I hear she’s in Room #345.

By the way, I’m taking ebay bids for reservations on rooms #344 & #346.

by TheDeuce69 on Jul 22, 2009 5:34 PM EDT reply actions

If SEC Media Days was a Big Brother reality show, how long would it take for Nick Saban and Urban Meyer to nominate Lane Kiffin for eviction?
Nick Saban…most intense Big Brother player ever?

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 22, 2009 8:21 PM EDT reply actions