CURIOUS INDEX, 7/20/2009

Suggested Question for Nick Saban:
“If Alabama football is a romantic comedy, is your quarterback Hugh Grant or Matthew McConaughey?”

For Marshall’s induction speech I vote someone ask Sean Salisbury to give it, assuming he isn’t still too busy taking cockpics and such.

In my mind it’s a toss-up between Marshall and Youngblood for the best UF defensive player ever. It’s hard to compare, especially since people let NFL success (or lack of success) reflect back on a player’s college career, but Marshall (who actually has two super bowl rings btw) had to be the most terrifying player to play against of any Florida athlete. Except for maybe a certain white Gator defensive end from earlier this decade, at least if you were female, anyway.

Eric Berry, channeling Yogi Berra…

“superstar safety Eric Berry replied: “The biggest thing is, ‘You see a lot, you see a little. You see nothing, you see a lot.’ That’s basically telling you to focus on your keys before the play. Don’t worry about all of the motions, the shifts and things. If you just focus on what you’re supposed to, you’ll see a lot more of what’s happening.”

Bonus points for you, Orson, if you uncover the answer to the most pressing question of this offseason: Who snubbed the Tebow Child!

What I’m saying is… get Kiffin to admit it. Unless it was Saban. But really… make Kiffin squirm.

Archie had the mobility of a state historical marker?

Ummm, you don’t know much about Archie’s game I take it. He was probably a better runner than passer.

You’re thinking of Eli. Common mistake. Carry on.

Coach Saben, what are your thoughts on the rumor that you are in line to coach the Miami Dolphins after this season?

Busch Gardens is obscenely underrated as a theme park experience. There are roller coasters. Dancing faux-tribesmen. Deadly animals of the reptilian, mammalian and insect persuasions. And cheap American beer. It’s like Heaven.

Until MaconDawg’s post re: Busch Gardens, I had never had any desire to go.

I seriously just looked up the park. I am going to blame that one on it being Monday.

You could always ask Urban if there is any truth to the following rumors:

(1) He is a lock for the ND head coach (Just to see if he points and gives you the death stare)
(2) He’s Shane Matthews’ new BFF

Oh, and one more thing. The Palm Beach Post ran an article about Marshall yesterday. He is 47 and on total disability from the NFL. (Knees, back, and spine injuries after 16 years of college/pro ball)

#10….Yes, but his wheelchair is gold plated with a spoiler……

So, Dixon was charged with misdemeanor something, and points will be assessed accordingly. Seems like MSU might have gotten the short end of the stick on their last arrest. Apparently, according to Chris Low and Kyle Veazey, sophomore Marcus Green was also arrested and charged with possession of the gange and paraphenalia back on July 9th: http://myespn.go.com/blogs/sec/0-7-149/Mississippi-State-s-Dixon-arrested.html . http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20090719/SPORTS030102/90718014/1079/SPORTS/Mullen+will+keep+lid+closed+for+workouts

Archie had great mobility. He just played for the Saints. Without the mobility he probably would have died on the field from having every bone in his body pulverized.

Suffering Succotash! rjsplow #2…Even though he has no connection, I would vote for Sean Salisbury to introduce Lou Holtz to the HOF…just so I can hear Dr. Lou to say “thank you for that stupendous introduction Sean Salisbury”

Ummm…btw…Orson…where’s the Erin Andrews naked peephole coverage???? I mean it is the I know you certainly can’t link the video for fear of ESPN lawyer nazi reprisal but damn, it IS the biggest college football offseason story so far…#1 on Google Trends. BTW if you haven’t seen it…da-yum!

Archie’s mobility was gone after all the years of hits he took. He sacked 11 times in a game against the Bears in 1984 while he played for the Vikings. Or, as my father put it, the worst beating he’d ever seen a man take that wasn’t in a German bar.

Having worked at Busch Gardens (the one in Virginia) once upon a time, I can safely say that faults are nearly invariably operator error. “USF student” is the telling phrase, in this context.

“Coach Petrino: is it true that a rolling stone gathers no moss?”

“Coach Meyer: When do you expect to finally beat Auburn?”

“Coach Orgeron: WHACCHADOINNOWTHATMUDBUGSEASONISOVER”

@ 15

German bar? I’ve lived in Europe, and In my experience, Germans only get violent when (a) they’re in a group and (b) they’re not in Germany. Think either "belligerent tour group" or "World War." American bars and, especially, English pubs can get far more violent.

Wait, I take it back: Your father did qualify "man." The most roughest fistfight I’ve ever seen was between two Cockney women in a dodgy pub in London.

I don’t like to inject NFL memories into a college football discussion, but holy sh_t was Marshall’s hit on Joe Ferguson vicious!

As an alumni of USF, I can say with some authority that, yes, Lasagna Hog, the fact he was a student there was probably the primary contributing factor. Also, he was a kicker, so there’s a chance that was pretty important too.

It’s been a long long long long time (ie over 30 years, god damn I’m getting up there yo) but as a child, I remember going to Busch Gardens on an ill-advised family vacation and going on a tour of an adjacent BUDWEISER BREWERY. I think this speaks to a) the quality of 70s parenting and the miracle that GenX lives at all and b) a possible explanation for why one would put oneself in a position to dangle over a theme park like something out of a madcap 60s ensemble farce.

“Points to be assessed as soon as we get those frilly things like facts, dates, numbers, etc.”

Fact: Empty champagne bottles in Dixon’s vehicle within’ plain sight of the officer.
Number: Two.

Dixon, we all love a bottle or two of the crispest of sparkling wines, but you really need to find somebody to drive you home. Why SEC athletes—while living in towns whose very economies rely on their successes, no less—feel the need to drive themselves home after a night of boozing will forever escape me.

As someone who may be relocating for work soon, I’d like you to ask Bobby Petrino if he can recommend any good movers.

If someone was ever going to fall out of a Busch Gardens ride, I figured it would have been the Phoenix. It’s always funny to walk by when that ride is at its full upside-down-50-feet-in-the-air glory, and you hear the change and keys and sunglasses falling out of people’s pockets, through the safety net, and down to the ground.

It is not my objective to debate the relative strengths and weaknesses of any quarterback named Manning but as a point of order it IS my contention that no quarterback named Manning has ever been hit. I mean with anything more than a glancing blow clear miss. That is my formal and official position for the record.

It is not my objective to debate the relative strengths and weaknesses of any quarterback named Manning but as a point of order it IS my contention that no quarterback named Manning has ever been hit. I mean with anything more than a glancing blow clear miss.

Whiff. That’s it.

Don Meredith summed up what Archie’s problem was with the Saints on MNF, saying, “The Saints always tip the other team when they’re going to pass. Ten players come out of the huddle laughing and Archie’s pale as a sheet.”

Despite my enmity toward ole pi$$ and all things Manning (well, Peyton excepted), Archie was probably the best NFL QB that will never sniff the HOF.

Please, please, please ask Nick saban “why are there so many songs about rainbows?” And then ask him who is he kicking off the squad next to make room.