ALL-NAME TEAM: GOD'S POWER OFFER

by Orson on Jul 20, 2009 4:03 PM EDT

The Miami Herald's list of up and coming players for the 2011 high school football season includes a kid whose picture we can't find anywhere on these fine internets. Thus, this photo of American High's rising defensive end God's Power Offer will have to do.

Tweet Comment 20 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Praise-God Barebone for God’s Power Offer!

by Anonymous IV on Jul 20, 2009 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

A friend of mine did his OB/GYN rotation at University Medical Center in Jackson, MS and he swears that a baby named Iwillariseandmeetjesus Jones was born during his time there. No spaces, all one word. Not quite as good as God’s Power Offer – no correctly used apostrohphes for one thing – but hopefully little baby Iwilla will grow to be a free safety or a fullback in about 15 years.

by haveagreatday on Jul 20, 2009 4:11 PM EDT reply actions

The two that follow are not far behind in preciousness: Edwidge Othelot (as pronounced by HRH Lou Holtz) and Ladell Pleasure (pick your poison: porno nom de cine, early 80’s R&B frontman, now playing at a casino near you).

Wu-Tang’s debut album is righteous, as is their newest, just released last week. All good English majors, however, also pay especial attention to Black Elvis, aka Kool Keith.

by WallaDawg on Jul 20, 2009 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

That reminds me; I meant to point out to you that Maryland has signed Tyrek Cheeseboro, who joins a roster including the immortal Bearthur Johnson.

http://www.testudotimes.com/2009/7/19/954764/terps-land-tyrek-cheeseboro

by DevilGrad on Jul 20, 2009 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

Could you imagine the pick-up lines this guy could deliver with all seriousness?

by GTSteve on Jul 20, 2009 4:13 PM EDT reply actions

Thurdywon Enchcock thinks your DE is a pussy.

by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Jul 20, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

God Always Be Closing

by ChasingMizzou on Jul 20, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

Back in the 80s SoCal had a RB whose first name was Estrus. I was laughing so hard I never caught his last name.

And we stiil have MIke Hunt in Starksville, ready to take on Nutt without Dicks.

by yoyofutbawl on Jul 20, 2009 4:27 PM EDT reply actions

Estrus Crayton, if memory serves. No relation to the departed volleyballer, Flo Hymon.

by WallaDawg on Jul 20, 2009 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

Who the hell, I ask you, couldn’t use a QB called Sterling Darling?

(Use for what, I have no idea…)

by Vandy J on Jul 20, 2009 4:49 PM EDT reply actions

A friend of mine did his OB/GYN rotation at University Medical Center in Jackson, MS and he swears that a baby named Iwillariseandmeetjesus Jones was born during his time there.

Could have been worse. Could have named him Iwillfuckyouintheass Jones.

by I R A Darth Aggie on Jul 20, 2009 5:01 PM EDT reply actions

The All-Name Team for soccer and swimming isn’t nearly this much fun.

by chg on Jul 20, 2009 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

I’m disappointed… I saw the photo and immediately thought “YESSSSS! Some team has their very own luck dragon and I can yell Falcor at the TV without shame or abandon (or at least, with a little less shame and abandon than usual), wooooooo!!!!”

But no. God’s Power Offer.

Luck dragon tease.

by GatorAM on Jul 20, 2009 5:10 PM EDT reply actions