THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO GET SHOT

Miami should be investigated immediately for this, but not because it's against any bylines or NCAA regulations, but because it's gonna get someone shot. Through the phone. You're thinking this is impossible, but this is the city with giant pythons lurking in the drainage canals and people practicing unlicensed plastic surgery with the same breezy informality one would normally associate with a mowing people's yards. If anywhere in the United States could figure out a way to get shot over the phone, it's Miami.

For the Miami football season-ticket holders still wondering about Tuesday-night phone calls: Yes, that was really Jacory Harris.

The Hurricanes' starting quarterback and other teammates called season-ticket holders to thank them for their support and also to invite them to next Saturday's Canes Fest event.

The reactions they got from fans ranged from disbelief to dismissal.

To death threats, to santeria curses, to the sound of squealing tires and then rapid gunshots. It's all part of Randy Shannon's plan to turn his team into the toughest football team imaginable by having them interact with its citizens, seeing who survives, and them moving on to the less demanding game of football. We're not saying anything about the program; it's been squeaky clean for years now, even a bit milquetoasty by comparison to prior Miami teams. It's the city and their phone-gun-toting residents we fear (and therefore admire a bit.)