CURIOUS INDEX, 7/9/09

by Orson on Jul 9, 2009 9:30 AM EDT

Worry. Oh, worry worry worry. This whole commercial is much funnier if you imagine it with a human arm, handgun, or dildo as the dog's prized possession.

Actual Youtube results for this: zero Ladies and gents, a day in the life of former Auburn linebacker Trey Blackmon:

2:11 Searched "Tray Blackmon is a terrifying and large mother fucker" on Youtube. 12, 345 hits.

2:22 Watched myself destroy Glenn Coffee. Full mast.

Little Ball of Hate won't be terrifying at all, because he plays in the CFL. We should go back to bed.will be quite terrifying all day for Auburn this fall, just as he's been since he got there. Big Ball of Hate is currently in the Alachua County Jail awaiting a hearing on cocaine possession charges after wrestling six cops during his arrest. (But can he play defensive tackle?)

HOOOOOWEEEEE. Got me a tv show! Me and Jevan Snead gonna do jokes in a cornfield! WOOOOOGIGGITY.

Secondary violations: They're everywhere, and sometimes they involve Nickelback, and sometimes Brian Cook gets a hold of that pony and rides it 'till it dies and collapses in a heap. "Hawaii: guilty of "preposterous apostrophization"' That's how a man gets the James Cook treatment at the hands of the natives, Brian, aka the "Kinetic Cranially Applied Mahalo."

Reduced: Fulmer Cup points for Lavunce Askew of Arkansas, whose charges were dismissed this week. Four points come off the books for the Razorbacks, a move likely taking them off the big board.

RIP. Ja'Quavin Smalls of Western Carolina died during an offseason workout in Cullowhee, NC. The workout was his first as a Catamount after transferring from Georgia Military College. He complained of cramping, and was stretching on the side when he collapsed.

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“Little Ball of Hate will be quite terrifying all day for Auburn this fall…”

Which is nice, because his salary from the Calgary Stampeders keeps AU under the cap.

by NCAA (The A is for Alabama) on Jul 9, 2009 9:37 AM EDT reply actions

Fuck this. Going to the bar now.

by Orson Swindle on Jul 9, 2009 9:44 AM EDT reply actions

These kids need serious physicals before arriving on campus.

RIP Mr. Smalls

by psuphiman80 on Jul 9, 2009 9:52 AM EDT reply actions

The elf in the world of warcraft banner has an awesome rack.

by Claws on Jul 9, 2009 9:54 AM EDT reply actions

Oh Orson, trouble calls for more aledged Fulmer Points for USC. Not a lot of points but it sounds like a fun story though:

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/usc-football-players-everson-griffen-and-jordan-campbell-arrested-in-nantucket-this-weekend/

by The Hokie Abides on Jul 9, 2009 9:56 AM EDT reply actions

I, for one, am pumped about the prospects of having a reality TV show on campus. I can only hope the players don’t get all emotional ‘n’ shit a la The Real World because, outside of that, this can only do good things for the program. It’ll likely bring in some revenue and it can’t be bad for ’crootin.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Jul 9, 2009 10:02 AM EDT reply actions

Hokie Abides—Is that Tawmmy from Quinzee next to Griffen in the second pic?

by Orson Swindle on Jul 9, 2009 10:07 AM EDT reply actions

I thought Marlo Stansfield had Proposition Joe killed, but it appears he just moved to Gainesville. I love the image of a female police officer jumping on the guy’s back to try and take him down.

by baconboy on Jul 9, 2009 10:31 AM EDT reply actions

Google results for ‘Trey Blackmon is a terrifying and large mother fucker’ (without quotes):

- this post
- Snarkastic’s September 2008 archive.

Perfect.

by PeteJayhawk on Jul 9, 2009 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

I think Tawmmy is from Woooooster.

Look at the girl in photo 2 in the far right of the picture (on Griff’s left). Is she packing heat?

by The Hokie Abides on Jul 9, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

i have a friend has a dog that looks just like that. A much less lazy me could provide you with said clip, but alas, there is only one me. And I’m lazy.

by Expat Ohioan on Jul 9, 2009 12:08 PM EDT reply actions

that, or she has the worst case of hemorrhoids I’ve ever seen.

by GatorAM on Jul 9, 2009 1:36 PM EDT reply actions

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It’s 2:34 PM, where are you?

by NCAA (The A is for Alcohol) on Jul 9, 2009 2:35 PM EDT reply actions

That commercial is GREAT! The look on that dog’s face when the cat comes through while he is burying the bone is priceless.

And being the owner of a bulldog (both literally and in the college-football-related sense) I found the casting of the bulldog as villain a nice touch, but not in keeping with their true nature. (Except for Evil Richt of course.)

by zzgator on Jul 10, 2009 3:28 PM EDT reply actions