ABOARD THE S.S. GALLO

Aboard the S.S. Gallo. This should just be playing in the background the whole time.

Jamie the Waiter: Anything for you, sir?

Steve Spurrier: Just a little more cocoa butter and five lineman who can block their way out of Gymboree. That would be nice. Oh, and a Bud Light.

Jamie: Sir, you know you can't have those. This is the S.S. Gallo. Quality linemen are expressly forbidden by ship rules. Also, you may want to know about ice ahead.

Spurrier: Ice? What the hell? We're twenty miles outta Charleston!

Jamie: Well, he is a talented one.

Stephen Garcia: Let's show that freaky frozen water who's boss, bitches!

Jamie: Sir, would you like to abandon ship?

Spurrier: No, no. We still got the defense to keep things tight. Ten returning starters.

Jamie: [pauses. looks around]

Spurrier: What? What is it?

Jamie: That was last year, sir. We have six returning starters, and lost 100 career starts in the secondary.

Spurrier: Well, shit.

Garcia: FULL SPEED AHEAD, BRAH!!! [attempts to press throttle down, misses, drops anchor and sounds horn at the same time, falls over.)

Spurrier: Yeah, get the lifeboats.

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