EAST CAROLINA PIRATES: FEARLESS AND PROTECTING OUR INTERESTS OVERSEAS

The best non-BCS teams against BCS squads since 2005 both come from the Mountain West: 7-2 TCU and 7-3 Utah, the standard-bearers for a conference peskily pushing for insanities like playoffs, and more open competition, and all that commie nonsense. (Which, if they don't like, well, they can just leave, what with the BCS being voluntary and everything.)

But the third? That would be East Carolina, a team we sometimes refer to as "Eastern Carolina" here on the blog because we are dumb, and fond of screwing up proper nouns whenever and wherever possible thanks to our creeping Alzheinstein's disease. Hey, these are probably the real lyrics to the fight song!

ECU is 6-10 against BCS teams since 2005, but with five of those wins coming against ACC teams. This lends further credence to what we'll call "Groh's Law":

Groh's Law: The theory stating that against all laws of math and reality, all teams playing in the ACC shall go 7-5 or 5-7 every year without variation, even if playing weak out-of-conference slates.

East Carolina has also played the most games against BCS opponents since 2005, with a mansome total of 16 games equalled only by the Ass-rippin' Schnellenbergers of Florida Atlantic University (the ass-rippin' being passive and offered, as they are 1-15 in games against BCS opponents.) Take ECU out of the sum total for Conference USA, though, and we're plating up Fugly Salad: C-USA is 11-91 overall against BCS teams, a record bested--er, worsted only by the Sun Belt Conference, who has a 6-84 record against the BCS overall. Did you know that one anagram for the Sun Belt is "Feeblest Unconcern?" It's not as good as "Enfeebles Corn Cunt," but it certainly makes more sense.

Oh, and East Carolina is helping smooth out the fight against the insurgency in Iraq. Suck on that, Schnellenberger.