GOOD IDEA, BAD IDEA: DON'T TALK ABOUT FART CLUB

by Orson on Jul 1, 2009 3:09 PM EDT

Good Idea: Their motto sucks, and Tree remains the kind of mascot you can have if your average attendee as a university is so wealthy the very act of having a mascot is an Illuminati thumbnose at the poor proles from other universities who will spend their lives bleeding money into Stanford graduates’ cash traps. Did we say Illuminati? We apologize. There is no such thing, you didn’t read that, and we’ll go type the rest of this from a constantly moving RV until things die down a little bit around here.

A good idea is expecting Stanford to take chunks out of several asses this year.

Toby Gerhart at running back leads a rushing account consistently in the black last year (200 yards per game) and capable of protecting their still less-than-impressive passing game. (Harbaugh sees improvement, but of course he does, because he’s a football coach not named Urban Meyer. "I’d like to murder our running backs with blunt objects, frankly." Thanks, Urban!)

They also get a ton of home games (five,) have a dynamic young coach in Harbaugh, and play the round-robin schedule, meaning they’re bound to catch one or two of the Pac-10’s flagship programs with their pants down, and then it’s ass-bitin’ time for college football’s most arrested mascot.

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OK, I have to know: Where did you get that last pic w/ the ursine “spy?” What is its context? Was it part of Operation Werewolf (Slavic body-hair division)? An early prototype of East Germany’s female Olympic athletes? A team pic of a joint mission pairing the Reich’s feared Red Rover Strikeforce with the Blue Steel Modeling Squad — and a bear? What???

by DantleyDeathGlare on Jul 1, 2009 4:08 PM EDT reply actions

back acting up…must do one more post…percoset and vodka is ok after 12…

by OhioDawg on Jul 1, 2009 4:11 PM EDT reply actions

nice farside reference in that last one.

by oc phil on Jul 1, 2009 4:59 PM EDT reply actions

The Tree rocks, not to mention the wonderful Stanford Pep Band, which once formed male & female sex symbols at halftime, with the male chasing the female around the field while playing “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”.

by yoyfutbawl on Jul 1, 2009 5:02 PM EDT reply actions

I’ll see your filthy rich university with trifling football and raise you one mascot that wholeheartedly embraces the very moral depravity that got us that wealth in the first place, not to mention a cheer dedicated solely to flaunting our materialist nature. “Show Your Gold” indeed. The tyrant of the New York Central Railroad scoffs at your transcontinental aspirations.

(Especially when pointing out that the Cardinal’s weak spot is a passing defense such that they couldn’t cover a bed if you spotted them a duvet and a woefully underpaid undocumented domestic employee to help out.)

by Vandy J on Jul 1, 2009 5:11 PM EDT reply actions

@ 5

We all know your wife/gf/whatever went to Cal. Go Cardinal.

by Coop on Jul 1, 2009 5:59 PM EDT reply actions

@DantleyDeathGlare #1:

Google “Voytek”.

Think you’re a badass? Try being a Polish soldier who, while fighting off the Germans, had to get his ammo replenishment from a BEAR.

by Not You on Jul 2, 2009 9:07 AM EDT reply actions

yoyfutbawl (4),

I think soemone else on thios blog once stated the cardinal band is not allowed at Notre Dame any more because the last time they played “papa dont preach” dressed as pregnant nuns.

by tzubear on Jul 2, 2009 12:58 PM EDT reply actions

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_Band

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marching_Owl_Band

Best half-time show I’ve ever seen was at a Rice – A&M game, with its slightly contrasting band styles.

by Wozzo the Wonder Dog on Jul 2, 2009 2:30 PM EDT reply actions

No, they’re banned from ND because they did a halftime show celebrating and poking fun at the Irish famine. Imagine the reaction you’d get to a musical revue at Stanford making fun of Native American genocide, and you’ll see why they won’t be welcome back anytime soon.

by OfcrTim on Jul 2, 2009 2:44 PM EDT reply actions