CURIOUS INDEX, 7/1/2009

Happy July. Violence is a food, a vitamin, and an essential part of your nutritious breakfast.

Um, sure. I'll just wait around here for that. Maryland officials are saying they'll never pay the million dollars they would owe offensive coordinator James Franklin if Ralph Friedgen does not step down by the 2012 season, something Friedgen is hinting he may not do if Maryland continues to do well enough under his supervision. Officials are not saying this in a bad way, mind you, and that it will all work out in the end, as Franklin has been offered spots at Iowa State and on Raheem Morris' staff in Tampa Bay, and could leave for his own head coaching gig before '12, and that we're all buddy/buddy and it will work out somehow. Kansas State recommends you fire Friedgen, but keep everyone happy by paying delayed secret kickbacks doled out evenly across the concerned parties' bank accounts. Worked for them, or some of them, at least.

This: is student journalism at its finest. And this is a hyperlinking FAIL.

Arkansas Loses Battle. Khiry Battle, arrested over the weekend for DUI, is off the Arkansas football team, since Bobby Petrino takes no mess (unless you're the appointed starting quarterback for the year, and then we're aces high, baby.) Urban Meyer described the punishment as harsh.

Woody Hayes Will Drag You to Hell For That. Whenever we imagine dead Woody Hayes, we always see him in Hell, baking comfortably in shorts and a short sleeve shirt with a tie, sipping a beer and shaking his fist angrily at something. We see this not because Woody was evil, but because Heaven was just too pussified and didn't have enough contact sports for Woody's eternal tastes. He's shaking his fist at this this morning, and swears he's gonna get up to the fifth circle service desk and file a request for a day pass to Earth just to kick this punk's ass.

He ate the GPS, because it looked like a flattened jellybean. Andre Smith needs...something, man.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker