CURIOUS INDEX, 6/26/09

How could they overlook Auburn/Mississippi State 2008? The ending to that one was so much better than any of these. Especially the rivers of uncontrollable vomit pouring from the stands after watching the TONY FRANKLIN EXPERIENCE shit itself uncontrollably against the contrasting craptaculosity of THE SYLVESTER CROOM PROLAPSED RECTUM ATTACK. Oh well, these will have to do for the moment.

Part Two of The Process will cost you a bit more. Nick Saban has begun the process of negotiating an extension to his contract. Did we mention Bob Stoops is nearing $5 mil for 2011? You bet your chapped ass Jimmy Sexton will.

We goin' diamond, y'all. The fabulous history of Oregon's uniforms is even wackier than you might remember. The Super Yellows, though, remain our favorite, if only for the screaming noise they make just sitting there and vibrating with radioactive energy.

The title is the only reason to read this article. If there is not, in a parallel universe, a noir crime novel named "Greg Robinson's Four Naked Fingers", then something has gone incredibly wrong with the multiverse as a whole. Robinson checked the dame. Her neck was cold. She had no pulse. He thought about the dead, smoked a cigarette, and then walked down the hall into hot dark night alone. Then, Syracuse fired him for sucking immensely. THE END.

ON LOCATION UPDATES! We're out in Vegas, but two updates for the site. One: Spicy Livin' will be up with a special guest this afternoon. Two: we're up after one night in Vegas, and will celebrate by doing our best to change that status for the rest of the weekend. This new pair of shoes: Daddy needs them.

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