RICH MEN WRITE IMPORTANT THINGS IN ITALICS

by Orson on Jun 24, 2009 3:19 PM EDT

Oh, hello! I'm T. Boone Pickens. you've caught me walking out of my private duck blind. On my ranch. Which is on a boat. In a lake. On my yacht. Which floats in another lake on a floating solar-powered island constantly roaming the seas of the Earth in order to avoid taxes.

I just want to remind you that you can say anything when you're as so stinking rich you smell like the very carcass of success rotting away into a pile of hundred dollar bills, especially if you write it in italics.

Some are awed by me. I never will forget, two years ago, some big ol’ kid came through the athletic department. Holder said, "This is Boone Pickens." The kid said, "Are you alive? Your name’s on the stadium. I didn’t know they put your name on the stadium unless you were dead." I said, "I came back." The kid said, "I can’t believe this. I didn’t know you were alive."

In all seriousness, T. Boone Pickens is the ballingest 80 year old on the planet. When he buys the oxygen rights for Metropolitan Norman, Oklahoma and forces the Sooners to play in SCUBA gear on the field in 2011, we'll see who knows if he's alive. Thirty million, Stoops? T. Boone spends that on hovercraft maintenance in a week.

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I’m a man. I’m 80.

by God Bless on Jun 24, 2009 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

He’s two men.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Jun 24, 2009 3:40 PM EDT reply actions

For all the doctrinaire BS he spewed out, I liked his “A&M saved $25” comment. By investing that money wisely at a 6% annualized return, TAMU has seen it grow to around $30,000 in 62 years, which is somewhat this side of $400 million.

by yoyofutbawl on Jun 24, 2009 3:41 PM EDT reply actions

Hey Boone,
Jerry Jones wants you to come see his new playpen. He’ll show you how folks in Texas can burn through the dinero you okie lightweight.

by three putt on Jun 24, 2009 3:45 PM EDT reply actions

This should put Ol Wazzu in the lead for the Fulmer Cup:

http://www.kxly.com/global/story.asp?s=10576231

by RRTX Coug on Jun 24, 2009 3:51 PM EDT reply actions

And even with Boone buying all the oxygen in Norman, osu will still finish 4th in the B12 South

by Soonertruth on Jun 24, 2009 4:00 PM EDT reply actions

RRTX Coug,

Only one of them is a current player.

by DoubleDawg05 on Jun 24, 2009 4:01 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, you don’t wear orange in a duck blind ya damn cahpetbaggah!

by Vol on Jun 24, 2009 4:04 PM EDT reply actions

He may have more money than God, even if it is about half of what he had 2 years ago…

but wind energy?

Go back to Holland, old man.

Also, whose son has been charged and convicted of more counts of securities fraud, T Boone’s or Bobby Bowden’s?

by Coop on Jun 24, 2009 4:35 PM EDT reply actions

are you guys talkin about BILL BRASKY?

by peanut butter on Jun 24, 2009 5:13 PM EDT reply actions

yea 400 million my left nut. The guy earmarked some money that he himself continued to manage (into the dirt incidentally) leaving the school with nothing but a burned out carcass.

by Brian on Jun 24, 2009 5:36 PM EDT reply actions

…Let me put it this way…he contributed 400 million to OSU just like Ted Turner donated $1,000,000,000 to the United Nations, which is to say, he didn’t.

T Boone pickens is a fucking piece of shit. All his crowing about the pickens plan and wind power is just some skillfull lobbying from a man who already owns the rights to those pieces of real estate where the wind blows and the power lines go. T Boone Pickens doesn’t care about anything but his own wallet. Plus half of it is natural gas rights. If he really wanted to do something, hed go around teaching communities in that part of the USA how to setup community wind power co-ops and so on…

When a guy contributes to nothing but athletics, thats really poor. Reaaaallly poor.

BTW, I don’t like t boone pickens very much, in case you didn’t notice.

by Brian on Jun 24, 2009 5:44 PM EDT reply actions

I KNOW BILL BRASKY! Bill Brasky is a sunofabitch. I heard he drives an ice-cream truck covered in human skulls!

by Brian on Jun 24, 2009 5:45 PM EDT reply actions

Vol is right (and he should know something about orange). Clearly upland. Ask Harry Whittington if the orange helps.

by haveagreatday on Jun 24, 2009 6:04 PM EDT reply actions

BILL BRASKY?!?!?! I once saw Bill Brasky kill a rattlesnake and use its skin as a condom!

by BurritoBrosShits on Jun 24, 2009 6:51 PM EDT reply actions

I wonder if Dalton is getting these “man, I thought you were dead” comments right now….I mean Swayze….too soon?
Seriously, I betcha Lou Holtz and JoePa get those comments all the time too, and they say, “But I’m not dead yet!” then someone is eventually gonna bone them upside the head with a shovel.

by Mr.Pelicanpants on Jun 24, 2009 11:13 PM EDT reply actions

@12
Easy there Brian…

I’m a Sooner fan, and I don’t think he’s as bad as you let on. Yes, at his core he’s looking out for himself and his wallet. Yes, he used the university as a tax shelter.

However, he has made genuine efforts to promote wind power in Oklahoma and saxeT. So what if he owns the land. I don’t see any corporations in western Oklahoma jumping up and saying “YES!! build your windmills on our land.” Where else is he supposed to build them.

Also, he has donated (actually donated… not just re-directed into a BGP hedge fund) $100 Million to their academic fund. So he’s not just an athletic booster.

Yes, he’s a tool who is looking out for his own well-being, but in the process he is also helping a lot of other people. Is that so bad?

by CincySooner on Jun 25, 2009 8:38 AM EDT reply actions