derby438

BetUS.com has the lines for your pending NCAA Violations kings, and you can practically smell the free money, young wagerers:

USC 8-1 This would require the NCAA actually getting a hold of Pete Carroll, and he typically routes all inquiries to Commodore Diarrheamouth.

Ohio State 9-1 If Maurice Clarett can exist, period, for a year in Columbus without repercussions, it is safe to say that a huge “FREE MONEY” booth put up outside Ohio Stadium for athletes would draw zero attention from NCAA officials. Correction: this would draw zero attention unless Ball State lined up for free money, too, and then they would bring the hammer down on Youngstown State for the whole thing.

Florida 10-1 Nah. Remember, we only break criminal code in Gainesville, and are deeply familiar with the actual rules of recruiting and player compensation.

Ole Miss 10-1 Is this just a “Hey, Mississippi’s kind of corrupt and backwards” pick? Because if you’re looking for VSOP corruption, go west across the river for the masters. (The government, not the football program, and we don’t want to know any more for fear of implicating our readers and selves in the dark, spooky inner workings of the LSU football program LALALALALALALAFingersinears.)

Florida State 12-1 Well, sure. If you twist our arms.

Michigan State 12-1 Um…really? Mark Dantonio gets bent when his players don’t wear ties, so we can’t see it, unless you’re assuming some kind of transitive bleedover from Dantonio’s time with Tressel. Also, Michigan runs on a barter economy now, and it’s hard to trace illegal payments of timber and grain without invoices attached to it.

Alabama 13-1 Ah say, we are outraged–no, wait. This is probably too low.

The rest of the list is here, and if you want to retire early and live like rich people do–you know, drinking Champale on a catamaran while Christopher Cross plays in the background and a beautiful lady with big hair watches you through the binoculars from the deck of her house built entirely of glass bricks–you’ll put money on Tennessee, who isn’t even on the list for NCAA violations but could come through as the prop bet latecomer of the century here because Lane Kiffin knows the rules and is smart ‘n stuff. (HT: The Seventh Floor.)

PS. Oh, and you can’t even make decent money on Florida arrests anymore. Invest elsewhere, futures broker.