FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLE GETS ARRESTED JUST FOR ATTENTION

Florida State now just gets players arrested just to remind everyone of their former glory, that halcyon time when they ruled a flaccid ACC with an iron fist and had players toddling drunkenly through the clubs of Tallahassee with impunity thanks to the diplomatic immunity afforded them by their exemption under the "Warsaw Rules."

In lesser days now, Florida claims the twin thrones of excellence in football and in frequency of arrest, and even the 'Noles crimes seem less energetic and creative than they once were. Preston Parker couldn't even be bothered to stay awake for the drive-thru, much less to walk in and make trouble. Sometimes a program makes its own metaphors, and signing over the deed to Wake Forest yearly certainly qualifies as the football corollary to falling asleep while waiting on your McFlurry.

Just to remind you they're there, Florida State football player Maurice Harris was arrested for grand theft, property crime (possession of a vehicle with altered numbers) and a traffic violation for attaching a registration and license plate not assigned to the vehicle to his car. Tomahawk Nation says getting rid of Harris would be just fine by them, though they're particularly irked by Harris' arrest highlighting Chuck Amato's overblown reputation as a South Florida recruiter. Harris is Amato's sole South Florida get in three years with the 21st century Seminoles, and has been a non-contributor thus far for the FSU defense.

That's five points for FSU in the Fulmer Cup, which we swear will be updated in full as soon as our boardmaster gets back from his tour of the sawdust mines of lower Alabama and the Georgia Piedmont.