GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA

by Orson on Jun 17, 2009 2:54 PM EDT

Good idea: Having an affair with a lady reporter. Not a bad idea, especially if the reporter is Melissa Theriau.

Bad idea: Having torrid affair with a lady reporter, getting caught, and having your telephone records subpoenaed by a slavishly devoted fanbase then being run out of town.Not that this ever really happened to anyone ever...

Good idea: Going for two late to win. Especially on the road, or in a bowl game where you may as well live big and die big:

It's also good if you can convert them from 33 yards out if you have to, too.

Bad idea: Going for two early as a suprise!

We have no real statistical evidence for this being a bad idea other than to say this: it was a key part of the early [NAME REDACTED] playbook, and a favorite Gotcha! move from Dennis Franchione in big games. It's not that going for a two point conversion doesn't make sense in some contexts, but generally speaking the same kind of coach who reaches for the two-pointer early is also the kind of coach who shaves away at the games's cheap corners to make up for a lack of fundamentally successful philosophies. Also, nothing deflates the momentum of a successful scoring drive than a flubbed two-point attempt, or makes you look more like you have next to no clue what you're doing.

Good idea: Hiring a coach who at least has "head coaching experience" on his resume. It gives you the plausible denial of an experiment gone wrong. Take the case of Tom Jurich, the AD at Louisville who hired Steve Kragthorpe, he of his own verb ("To Kragthorpe," or inexplicably blow college football games in the early 21st century.") No matter what happens with his hire, Jurich has two defenses. First, he can legitimately claim "I hired an experienced and successful candidate, and it didn't work out." All true, since Kragthorpe was successful at Tulsa, and was lauded as a solid pick coming into the job. Second, he's got a huge amount of spiky paperwork guaranteeing his pay and more from Louisville...even if Kragthorpe flubs again and gets the axe late in 2009.

Bad idea: Hiring a coach for your heavily scrutinized major football program with no head coaching experience. Rarely a good idea, and a really deplorable one if it involves hiring an assistant from outside the program. The SEC is a bit of an anomaly in that two quite successful examples of this come to mind: Mark Richt and Phil Fulmer, one internally hired after stabbing Johnny Majors in the back with his own whiskey bottle, and another hired off Florida's State's staff.

Good Idea: The Well-Timed Trick Play.

Bad idea:The Desperation Trick Play. The trick play in a time of need. Another full-on sign that the people pulling the strings have little but poorly calculated bluff. Not to continue a pattern, but pattern continued at the 5:16 mark of the video below.

Taking the ball out of your best offensive player's hands--or worse still, making them do something they typically don't do in a time of crisis--in a desperate wager to win a game. Rephrased: so, dealer. This is nineteen, right? And you've got a five showing? HIT ME BABY!!!

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Comments

To maintain the Animaniacs theme with Ms. Theriau: HELLOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!

by Signal to Noise on Jun 17, 2009 3:01 PM EDT reply actions

Good idea: Hiring a coach who at least has "head coaching experience" on his resume.

Good idea huh? Well, let me employ some of the skills I acquired in George O’Leary’s Resume Writing 101 – “If They Cannot Prove It’s A Lie, Then It’s The Truth, Well… Until They Can Prove It’s A Lie, Then Damn” and sharpen up my resume…. Good by Cubicle, Hello mega contract with heavy buy-out and Yellawood!

by skinnyphatman on Jun 17, 2009 3:10 PM EDT reply actions

Man the shots of that babe topless are suh-weet!!

by ALGator on Jun 17, 2009 3:15 PM EDT reply actions

I think it worked out alright when Oklahoma hired a d-coordinator from Florida with no head coaching experience.

by CincySooner on Jun 17, 2009 3:17 PM EDT reply actions

OK, so I’ve had at least one good idea in my life.

by Doug on Jun 17, 2009 3:17 PM EDT reply actions

Yes, CincySooner, that did work out quite well.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 17, 2009 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

My first reaction on seeing the Buffs convert that 2-pter from 33 yds out was that it was a helluva play until I remembered it was against a Big 12 defense and I quickly recanted.

by EZ on Jun 17, 2009 3:24 PM EDT reply actions

And I thought for sure that Weissss was going to be Exhibit A for what a bad idea it is to hire an assistant as your head coach. Then I remembered, ND isn’t a heavily scrutinized major football program.

by ohiodawg on Jun 17, 2009 3:31 PM EDT reply actions

Man, I still can’t believe how hot Doug’s favorite reporter is. She’s inhuman. In an impossibly hot way.

by Reed on Jun 17, 2009 3:56 PM EDT reply actions

Houston Nutt is an animany, totally insaney, eating chow-meiny…iac.

(Those are the facts, Jack.)

by gold man on Jun 17, 2009 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

Seriously Orson, you ~~should~~ be like 5-10 years too old for Animaniacs references, though I can’t blame you for running home to watch that show after a tough day of high school. Who’d really want to hang out with all the other kids experimenting with sex, drugs, and alcohol?

by gold man on Jun 17, 2009 4:15 PM EDT reply actions

Hrm, that [NAME REDACTED] clip doesn’t seem familiar… I thought Florida took a sabbatical from Football from 2002 to 2004…

by Not You on Jun 17, 2009 4:22 PM EDT reply actions

CincySooner brings up a legitimate point, to which I propose an exception to Bad Idea #1: outside assistants with no head coaching experience may be legitimized through predecessor’s success, an exception which covers Stoops (Bob Pruett), Mark Mangino (Friend of the Blog Mike Leach), and Bo Pelini (Boom Motherfucker’s not a head coach, but he runs his Texas defense with relative autonomy) if you don’t count an interim stint as “head coaching experience” (which, in fairness, you probably should, since it was the popularity gained and success had therein that made him such a cinch the second time around).

by This Guy on Jun 17, 2009 4:52 PM EDT reply actions

If there was ever anecdotal evidence comparing Zook to Urban, it is Vernell Brown.

Under Zook: failed backup RB ridiculed by disenchanted fan base (“noise in the system”) for absurd trick play attempted during meaningless bowl game.

Under Meyer: the “face of the program” as captain and starting cornerback, setting the stage for MNC in 2006.

by DHC on Jun 17, 2009 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

@gold man - The Animaniacs reference was mine, and if I hear one word against them I will stab the offending party. That is all.

by Holly on Jun 17, 2009 5:38 PM EDT reply actions

Anybody who slips in the occasional Animaniacs reference is OK by me. Awesome! And with that……http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19TBzy81Mac

by Farsider on Jun 17, 2009 10:02 PM EDT reply actions

How can you not use the hook and lateral play from Boise State and Oklahoma for the “well-timed trick play” video? For shame, for shame.

by GTSteve on Jun 18, 2009 1:23 AM EDT reply actions

You spelled Melissa’s name wrong, numb nuts…

by Foster Keats on Jun 18, 2009 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

Oklahoma hiring the Howard, who had plenty of head coaching experience, worked out poorly. Oklahoma just
refuses to play along.

by gtne91 on Jun 18, 2009 10:20 AM EDT reply actions

Then again, the Howard was successful at Miami, Louisville and Fla Atlantic, so maybe Oklahoma was the
problem.

by gtne91 on Jun 18, 2009 10:23 AM EDT reply actions

Ditto GTSteve. Didn’t Boise have a receiver throw a pass, run a statue-of-liberty at the goal line, have David Blaine levitate a halftime, etc? How did that work out? Yeah, they got screwed out of the mythical “Championship”.

by angry mike on Jun 18, 2009 10:27 AM EDT reply actions