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June 11, 2009

ALABAMA MAN! HE CAN BOWL HE CAN DRINK HE CAN BOWL SOME MORE!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO. Alabama, get a midget statue at the ready. He done earned it.

Suck it Myles Brand! HOW DYA LIKE MAH NOW!!!

Filed under: Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some by Orson Swindle

[ 42 Replies ]

42 Responses to “ALABAMA MAN! HE CAN BOWL HE CAN DRINK HE CAN BOWL SOME MORE!”

1

haybeav says:

Tis but a flesh wound..

But seriously, I’ll give up some meaningless Shula wins for having no scholarships taken away. (The Saban wins will hurt a little more though).

June 11th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
2

EastHoustonpondwater says:

Forget a frightened Silvester Crooms crouching by the tailgate; if you look in the reflection of the driver side mirror, you’ll see the ghostly image of Bear Bryant.

June 11th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
3

the ex-croominator says:

Does this mean I have to go back in time and NOT make my Ole Miss-loving sister wear my Alabama visor? Hey sis, you retroactively won the bet…I’ll wear your Ole Miss hat tomorrow (and considering I work at MS State, that’s going to be REAL uncomfortable).

June 11th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
4

pig stabbin z says:

Last month, drove from Birmingham to Huntsville, and saw that guy at least 12 times.

June 11th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
5

Papa Lou BSU says:

Once again, the NCAA got so mad at Alabama they put Cleveland State on probation again, to paraphrase the old joke.

Seriously? Not one scholarship lost over this? Really? After taking five scholarships away from Ball State for the EXACT SAME THING just over a year ago, even though BSU alerted the NCAA to their own violation, already sacrificed the 2005 season through mass player suspensions, and most certainly did *not* have Bama’s mile-long rap sheet of prior offenses?

Yeah, no double-standard in punishment there.

What. A. Crock.

June 11th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
6

rammer jammer says:

hey haybeav, just in case you didn’t notice, the bear is still dead. you are living in the past. saban will desert the tide in a year or two, and you will still be looking for your savior. just keep sucking the ncaa’s proverbial cock and everything will be ok. you guys are beyond delusional. it blows my mid. 8700 national championships. all of about 4 are legit. you guys make it too freakin easy to hate you. go to hell.

June 12th, 2009 at 3:49 am
7

Zimmer says:

Isnt that a picture of Billy Bob Bammer from “Your mother slept with wilt chamberlain”? Or is this an Lsufreek
picture?

June 12th, 2009 at 6:48 am
8

yoyofutbawl says:

5

Agreed. The USChikins did less and lost 4. We Starksvillians did less and lost 4. Watch Hello Kiffy skate on the gazillion secondaries.

USCw pays for Reggie Bush’s parents house and there is no investigation.

F*** Myles Brand & the NCAA double-standard a-holes.

June 12th, 2009 at 7:20 am
9

drexyl says:

#5

+1 on the call of bullshit.

June 12th, 2009 at 7:35 am
10

TheWatcher says:

Come on everyone, Bama didn’t get preferential treatment. I’m sure there was a monetary penalty paid under the table to the NCAA. If they can afford more than $100K for Albert Means, then surely they can afford Myles Brand.

The big scandal will be when Mal Moore and Jim Delaney are footing the bill for a “business conference” in Vegas with NCAA big wigs.

June 12th, 2009 at 7:42 am
11

hobeg8r says:

Meanwhile, another charge against a Gator is about to be dropped. Cat 5’s in action!

http://www.gatorsports.com/article/20090611/ARTICLES/906119927/1136

June 12th, 2009 at 7:51 am
12

ALGator says:

Roooollllll Tiiiiide!! (Not.)

June 12th, 2009 at 8:23 am
13

baconboy says:

I think the real target here may be FSU. Now the NCAA has a nice precedent it can appeal to when it takes away Bowden’s wins.

June 12th, 2009 at 8:45 am
14

Raider Red says:

Hopefully the Cotton Bowl will be one of the vacated wins, so justice will finally be served.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51FPtrs8tFk

June 12th, 2009 at 9:00 am
15

guavasteve says:

#10

How can an action that happens after another action be called a precedent?

June 12th, 2009 at 9:00 am
16

dc trojan says:

@yoyofutbawl – come on, get your facts straight: an agent paid for the Bush family house and USC looked the other way. Not the same thing as direct payment at all.

The compliance department has very rigorous oversight standards encapsulated in the motto over the office door: “Nothing to see here.”

After this Solomon-like ruling from the NCAA, Fresno State’s AD is having a Code Brown.

June 12th, 2009 at 9:37 am
17

Mr. Pelican Pants says:

You can take muh wins, you cant take muh memories! The highlight of the era was Tyrone Prothro, good(USM game) and bad(ending career in Theisman-esque fashion blowing out Florida).

June 12th, 2009 at 9:56 am
18

yoyofutbawl says:

dct-

Yes, the agent. As Eric Idle said, “Nudge, nudge.”

BTW, Tim Floyd is an idiot for writing the check. And the NCAA is going through the Renaldo Sidney family financial records as we blog away.

June 12th, 2009 at 9:58 am
19

sevenDs says:

As much as I would have liekd to see the tide penalized more (it’s the nature of the rivalry) I’m just ready for this to be done. It’s not as juicy as buying a linebacker.

June 12th, 2009 at 10:01 am
20

The Snake will drive Again! says:

OK, I’m obviously biased here. I’m going to take the Urban Meyer defense and state I believe the punishment “is a bit harsh”.

So this is the scenario:

College kid: hey highly regarded student athlete, I have to buy the Vagina Monologues for my women’s studies class, and it’s like $120. That blows.
Student athlete: don’t sweat it bro, I’ve got $200 left on my university issued credit card specifically to be used for books. I’ll buy that Vagina book AND some sweet pens for you from the Supe Store.
College kid: sweet dude! You student athletes are good people. Kegger at my house tonight!

There was no profit here so I don’t really see how this constituted an extra benefit for the student athlete. Rule broken? Yes. Deserved 3 years probation and vacated wins? Hardly. Please move along to USC.

June 12th, 2009 at 10:02 am
21

oc phil says:

@DC: I have to disagree with your take on the compliance department. I had to deal with them when I was a student and they were one of the more functional and efficient offices on campus (but that isn’t saying much). Monitoring the housing payments for the parents of players is way beyond the scope of what is done at any school. The football team under PC takes compliance matters seriously.

Obviously there has been an NCAA investigation into the Bush thing, there just have not been any results yet.

June 12th, 2009 at 10:13 am
22

Kecalf Bailey says:

The point many were trying to make is that there was no competitive advantage to be gained, though I don’t buy it for one reason:
If the players know they can exploit the textbook system and get away with it, it becomes an automatic recruiting tool when HS athletes visit campus and spend time with the current players.

The fact that the violations were so widespread (150+ student-athletes in 16/19 sports) almost seems to have helped the football teams defense. All but a dozen of the violators were considered “accidental” meaning they only broke the rules once, and for less than $100 total. The NCAA had to realize that the University really put the student athletes and themselves at risk for this through their screwed up textbook system. UA’s openness with the investigators must have largely made up for the “failure to monitor.”

June 12th, 2009 at 10:20 am
23

Boclive says:

“Skating away on the thin ice of a new day” with the requisite citation to Ian Anderson and Jethro Tull.

The next one’s going to move some money around for sure.

June 12th, 2009 at 10:36 am
24

pic6bamr says:

Some players sold some books and personally benefited from it but broke no laws, just NCAA regulations. The university is punished. Houston Nutt has a guy who used a dead woman’s credit card (illegal) and then held a McDonalds drive-thru hostage with a only a pair of brass knuckles and that somehow does not fall under the NCAAs purveyance. There are plenty of other examples, but the point is why does the NCAA only punish insitutions for their arbitrary rules violations and don’t punish institutions for illegal activities of plaers that endanger the local community.

June 12th, 2009 at 10:52 am
25

Counter Trap says:

Blah blah blah moral indignation blah blah no I actually don’t know the details blah blah blah Albert Means blah blah blah Bear cheated blah blah blah yeah, but did you see our LIMO blah blah blah USC? NEVER! blah blah blah Lousiana Monroe blah blah blah Saban’s career record blah blah blah UTES!!!!! blah blah blah

September 5 cannot get here fast enough.

June 12th, 2009 at 11:32 am
26

sullivan013 says:

Meh. Either it’s enough to punish in reality or it isn’t enough to bother with. This wrist-slap method of correction is just as weak and ineffective as a game, I mean half, I mean quarter suspension for player transgressions. It’s not like the athletes were selling coke from a vehicle in the athletic complex parking lot on numerous occasions (but taking GREAT care that the other team members didnt’ know, wink, wink) or conducting gangsta-like “gimme-yo-lunch-muney!” holdups in front of the Paul Bear Bryant museum with realistic looking firearms.

I mean REALLY. Let’s keep this transgression in context, shall we?

Sullivan013

June 12th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
27

Brizzle says:

I could give two shits and fuck about the story…that picture is pure gold biyatch!

June 12th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
28

Croc says:

Vacating wins is stupid. Vacating losses though, could be awesome.

June 12th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
29

shanensga says:

I am not going to rag on Bama for this one,. Not letting college kids do whatever they want with their books is a crock in itself. The NCAA is just afraid that the sharecroppers that work down on their plantation might get some pocket money and get uppity. Who investigates what students with academic scholarships do with their textbooks?

June 12th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
30

dc trojan says:

yoyofutbawl @ 15 – not even Tim Floyd is that dumb; that’s the genius of accusing him of handing over used, non-sequential hundred dollar bills… very hard to disprove.

As for USC funneling money to an agent… again, don’t be that silly. There are plenty of alumni who will give makework jobs to former football players – hell, Charles White works in IT support at the university.

OCPHil @ 18 – actually I agree on the Bush thing, but if anyone in Compliance thought that Mayo – the compounding factor of doom here – was a good idea, they should be sent to work somewhere that they can do less damage.

June 12th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
31

oc phil says:

DC@ 26: I happened to be up at Heritage Hall today and there were flyers posted all around about a small “dead period” in recruiting for Track and Cross Country during the NCAA finals. That was a little reminder that the compliance people are trying hard.

I think basketball is a cesspool or corruption thanks to the number of players who were going straight to the NBA from high school. Now that players are doing the “one and done” thing I think that there are few who would be totally clean. There is just too much money at stake for the agents when expected payoff is only a year away. That does not excuse anything that Mayo or Floyd might have done, of course.

June 12th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
32

Charlie Murphy says:

I have had it with the “Alabama got caught cheating again” BS.
How exactly does 7 football players who helped friends get books illegally or not……
get turned in to the football program was deceiving anyone to win games or get recruits to attend
Alabama?
18 – 22 year old kids make bad decisions and most of the kids were track and tennis players but all
you here is the football team.
Stupid
Spend NCAA money on worthy causes not BS, the SEC would have handled this.

June 12th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
33

Coop says:

Actually, no, OC Phil, you have no clue about basketball. There are plenty of big time basketball players who are clean…

just that the clean ones would not deal with Southern Cal unless their lives depended on it.

If they stay out west, they go to Westwood, hopefully Johnny Dawkins steals a couple, otherwise Arizona and Washington, but as you already know, the ones that want to be somebodies end up in the Triangle of North Carolina.

Carolina and, unfortunately, to a lesser extent, Duke, pick and choose.

DC Trojan is smart enough to not be a schmuck. You people do not get legitimate basketball talent unless you cheat.

June 12th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
34

yoyofutbawl says:

Thanks coop.

O, the best place for a rare hangover burger, bloody bull & cottage fries is JG Melon’s at 3rd & 74th. Take the 6 to 77th and head south.

Unfortunately, they’re enemies of Pepper & FRIENDS OF THE FAIL WHALE, AKA BEEG CHOLLIE LOOSER. No NYT is allowed in the bar. Only DM & NYPost. Yeeeesssss!!!

June 12th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
35

Mr. Pelican Pants says:

Bamas Back!…..on probation……..lets try not to get the dreaded Double Secret Stealth Underground Invisible Cloaking Device Jedi Mind Trick Probation this time guys, ok?

June 13th, 2009 at 11:15 am
36

Flatlander says:

I’m getting ode…it took me three times through this thread before seeing the Croominator hiding behind the truck. Brilliant!

As for the story, Baconboy might be on to something…in a way its a set up to snare Bobby (not that I mind).

June 14th, 2009 at 9:26 am
37

Eric Angevine says:

Orson, I saw that very mullet not two hours ago in Gretna, Nebraska. Hand to god.

June 14th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
38

Mind the Gap says:

umm…am I the only one seeing Coach Bryant so skill fully placed in the reflection of the driver side mirror?

June 14th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
39

oc phil says:

@ coop. I understand perfectly. Yours are all clean others must be dirty.

June 15th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
40

WarChiziken says:

that is not the reflection of Coach Bear – those are special laser cut mirrors sold at truck stops throughout Alabama

anything with this reflection is solid gold baby

June 15th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
41

Zimmerman says:

Question: bama vacates wins from ‘05, does that mean Florida gets an extra win? Do we vacate a loss?
Are we 10-2 or 9-2 for the 2005 season, I need to know these things.

June 15th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
42

oc phil says:

@ Zimmerman: Vacating losses only changes Alabama’s record. Everybody they played has the same record they did last week.

June 15th, 2009 at 11:00 pm