If Florida is the high-end, couture buy for those seeking the criminally troubled major college football brand, the Washington State is the affordable, mid-sized alternative with almost as much total punch. Hell, for individual flair, Xavier Hicks is the best buy by himself. Don’t think of the Cougars as a one-man team, though. He may be their Lebron, but he does have teammates, and they refuse to let the man do the job single-handedly.

Ronnie James Dio wants to bless this with his satanic powers, because it is that powerful. Go ahead, RJD.

Ah, GifParty. You never let us down. Then again, neither does Wazzou:

Tyree Toomer and LeAndre Daniels were arrested on theft and burglary charges and were immediately suspended…

Toomer and Daniels are accused of second degree burglary, residential burglary and theft in the second and third degrees.

Gadzooks, that’s quite a load of points. Burglary and theft don’t strike us as misdemeanors, meaning the standard three-point award for any felony here has to apply, but how is a really, really good question at this point. The conservative. Wazzu sits right now with nine points. Four felony charges are listed there, a grand sum of 12 points if you only count them as a lump sum, and not as two people’s charges doubled.

At the bare minimum, we’re looking at 12 Fulmer Cup points for Wazzu, and the effective Fulmer Cup lead. (USF also has 17, but all of their points from Trent Pupello’s one-man riot and pistol-whipping clinic in a bar parking lot.) If you would like to play safety at Washington State and taste the special experience of playing Dan Hawkins-approved Divison One Football, just wait until everyone in front of you is arrested, and you’ll see the field soon enough.