FULMER CUPDATE: THE BIG BOARD HITS A LULL
The Fulmer Cup Big Board, tended as always by the Reggie Nelson-sized-tackle-dragging Brian, returns this week full of naught but tiny points tweaks and a single, lonely Nebraskan arrest warrant blowing about the waving cornflowers of the Great Plains…
I-back to the Future. Nebraska picks up a single point for the negligence of I-back Quentin Castille, who failed to appear in court over a trio of missing license plate charges, and will instead be brought in on the proactive tip by the Lincoln law enforcement community for wasting the judge’s precious time. This does not count as the kind of jail experience one can brag about, sir. Gucci Mane this does not make you.
Carl Johnson, finally off the books. The points awarded to Carl Johnson and erroneously left on the books after their dismissal have been returned to the cookie jar, since the charges were dropped after a judge realized at an attorney’s urging that a man cannot break a restraining order he does not realize exists. Carl Johnson has peacefully gone back to watching his girlfriend just like the rest of you do, which is through an open window with a powerful infrared telescope.
Otherwise: The long quiet gulf of June awaits, smooth, ripple-free waters sure to be interrupted by a bar brawl on a hot evening or a Florida Gator affray charge of some sort.










1
CincySooner says:
June…. for a… football… fan…
so….. cold….
June 9th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
2
JIMatUA says:
Infrared telescope? Damn, why didn’t I think of that? Here I am using a 40X Leupold Mark-4 Spotting scope like a sucker. Time for an upgrade.
June 9th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
3
JD says:
This thing has really hit a lull. We need another pistol-whipping incident, or at least something where the word “brandishing” appears in the news report.
June 9th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
4
yoyofutbawl says:
3
A simple affray would be nice, too. Involving Stephen Garcia would be even better. He’s been too quiet for too long.
June 9th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
5
ALGator says:
Have no fear @JD – the Alachua county water board normally begins to detect the so called “redacti-behaviorus” bacterial contamination in June that only seems to effect young males who play football. The result of this phenomenon has had a huge impact on the Fulmer cup (and on fans) in recent years.
June 9th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
6
Dawgfish says:
Was Jenkins charged with anything after he was tased last week, or were the charges dropped because he took the tasering like a man and was able to run off?
June 9th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
7
john says:
Here’s how Florida football arrests (24 from 2005-2009) during the Urban Meyer compare with rival schools:
– Georgia, 30 arrests
– Tennessee, 19 arrests
– Florida State, 13 arrests
– Miami, 2 arrests
June 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
8
Coop says:
@ 4
The highly doubtful rumor going around in the spring was that Garcia was living with the Spurriers to better keep his nose clean.
Regardless of the accuracy of the above, it seems like the basis of a solid EDSBS bit.
June 9th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
9
JIMatUA says:
@ 7
Not so fast my friend. Not all arrests are equal. Notice how many of Georgia’s arrests relate to scooters where Florida’s relate to stealing dead girls credit cards and discharging AK-47’s in parking lots. Hence the need for the Dynasty mode seen here.
http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Fulmer_Cup_Dynasty
Florida is 2nd, where Georgia is at least an “Ellis T Jones” behind in 10th and Tennessee is down in 14th. FSU and Miami don’t even belong with these heavyweights (using your time frame of course)
June 9th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
10
Coop says:
@ 9
I figured that John is a Georgia fan because nobody alive could offer up what he did as a counter to the argument that Florida is working hard towards becoming the new Miami of the mid to late ’80s and early ’90s.
Nah, it is legit. One assault with a deadly weapon is much preferrable to three failures to use your turn signal, right?
June 9th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
11
Brizzle says:
I don’t know if this means Q doesn’t get his point now, but the judge rescinded the warrant for Quentin Castille. http://www.omaha.com/article/20090609/SPORTS01/906099966
June 9th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
12
Dawg says:
Wazzu should add some more points to their score today. http://washingtonstate.scout.com/2/871279.html
Also, I didn’t see anything on here about Wazzu’s QB that passed out drunk in his truck parked in front of the police station? That’s gotta be worth some points. http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3929132
June 10th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
13
zifnab says:
Washington State comes through in the clutch with two more arrests, though for a kinda lame transgression (stealing bikes and a hacksaw)
June 10th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
14
Not again says:
Washington State players step up to the plate:
http://washingtonstate.scout.com/2/871279.html
June 10th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
15
Charlie Murphey says:
How is it UF is not on the board? Get tazed fall off the board?
June 11th, 2009 at 6:25 am