FULMER CUPDATE: THE BIG BOARD HITS A LULL

by Orson on Jun 9, 2009 12:24 PM EDT

The Fulmer Cup Big Board, tended as always by the Reggie Nelson-sized-tackle-dragging Brian, returns this week full of naught but tiny points tweaks and a single, lonely Nebraskan arrest warrant blowing about the waving cornflowers of the Great Plains...

I-back to the Future. Nebraska picks up a single point for the negligence of I-back Quentin Castille, who failed to appear in court over a trio of missing license plate charges, and will instead be brought in on the proactive tip by the Lincoln law enforcement community for wasting the judge's precious time. This does not count as the kind of jail experience one can brag about, sir. Gucci Mane this does not make you.

Carl Johnson, finally off the books. The points awarded to Carl Johnson and erroneously left on the books after their dismissal have been returned to the cookie jar, since the charges were dropped after a judge realized at an attorney's urging that a man cannot break a restraining order he does not realize exists. Carl Johnson has peacefully gone back to watching his girlfriend just like the rest of you do, which is through an open window with a powerful infrared telescope.

Otherwise: The long quiet gulf of June awaits, smooth, ripple-free waters sure to be interrupted by a bar brawl on a hot evening or a Florida Gator affray charge of some sort.

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June…. for a… football… fan…

so….. cold….

by CincySooner on Jun 9, 2009 1:03 PM EDT reply actions

Infrared telescope? Damn, why didn’t I think of that? Here I am using a 40X Leupold Mark-4 Spotting scope like a sucker. Time for an upgrade.

by JIMatUA on Jun 9, 2009 1:12 PM EDT reply actions

This thing has really hit a lull. We need another pistol-whipping incident, or at least something where the word “brandishing” appears in the news report.

by JD on Jun 9, 2009 1:18 PM EDT reply actions

A simple affray would be nice, too. Involving Stephen Garcia would be even better. He’s been too quiet for too long.

by yoyofutbawl on Jun 9, 2009 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

Have no fear @JD – the Alachua county water board normally begins to detect the so called “redacti-behaviorus” bacterial contamination in June that only seems to effect young males who play football. The result of this phenomenon has had a huge impact on the Fulmer cup (and on fans) in recent years.

by ALGator on Jun 9, 2009 2:13 PM EDT reply actions

Was Jenkins charged with anything after he was tased last week, or were the charges dropped because he took the tasering like a man and was able to run off?

by Dawgfish on Jun 9, 2009 2:13 PM EDT reply actions

Here’s how Florida football arrests (24 from 2005-2009) during the Urban Meyer compare with rival schools:

— Georgia, 30 arrests

— Tennessee, 19 arrests

— Florida State, 13 arrests

— Miami, 2 arrests

by john on Jun 9, 2009 2:21 PM EDT reply actions

@ 4

The highly doubtful rumor going around in the spring was that Garcia was living with the Spurriers to better keep his nose clean.

Regardless of the accuracy of the above, it seems like the basis of a solid EDSBS bit.

by Coop on Jun 9, 2009 2:22 PM EDT reply actions

@ 7

Not so fast my friend. Not all arrests are equal. Notice how many of Georgia’s arrests relate to scooters where Florida’s relate to stealing dead girls credit cards and discharging AK-47’s in parking lots. Hence the need for the Dynasty mode seen here.

http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Fulmer_Cup_Dynasty

Florida is 2nd, where Georgia is at least an “Ellis T Jones” behind in 10th and Tennessee is down in 14th. FSU and Miami don’t even belong with these heavyweights (using your time frame of course)

by JIMatUA on Jun 9, 2009 3:27 PM EDT reply actions

@ 9

I figured that John is a Georgia fan because nobody alive could offer up what he did as a counter to the argument that Florida is working hard towards becoming the new Miami of the mid to late ’80s and early ’90s.

Nah, it is legit. One assault with a deadly weapon is much preferrable to three failures to use your turn signal, right?

by Coop on Jun 9, 2009 5:30 PM EDT reply actions

I don’t know if this means Q doesn’t get his point now, but the judge rescinded the warrant for Quentin Castille. http://www.omaha.com/article/20090609/SPORTS01/906099966

by Brizzle on Jun 9, 2009 7:30 PM EDT reply actions

Wazzu should add some more points to their score today. http://washingtonstate.scout.com/2/871279.html

Also, I didn’t see anything on here about Wazzu’s QB that passed out drunk in his truck parked in front of the police station? That’s gotta be worth some points. http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3929132

by Dawg on Jun 10, 2009 4:29 PM EDT reply actions