CURIOUS INDEX, 6/8/09

i’m from philly.

that’s perfectly cromulent grammer.

I also can’t not read well. Which way to the Stradium?

"No, there’s no way that I said that," Kiffin said. "I wouldn’t say anything like that. First of all, if you look at, I don’t think that anybody pumps gas because everything is self-serve nowadays. There’s no full-serve stations, so I’m smart enough to not have said it because of that, number one. But number two, we don’t negative recruit." – Lane Kiffin

How in the hell was this missed. This had to be added as a joke, right? Vol fans, you have not even entered REM stage of your nightmare!

Phil Steele? Oh yes, aka “Summer Santa Claus.” Mr. Steele’s hard efforts are ensconced on my toilet tank for perusal during “office” time. My apologies, sir, but I committed some adulterous affairs with the floozy duo of Lindy and Athlon this weekend. But know well, they are not toilet tank worthy! I am presently working on a graphical curve for illustrating fiber intake vs. football I.Q. Developing….

anyone else notice that the young Vol-to-be is greeting His Lane-ness with a Highlights magazine in one hand?

“Pain killers, alcohol, weed, fast food and sex attract these athletes to the big school”

From what I’ve heard, Urban Meyer’s pitch to potential recruits centers around Gainesville’s newest What-a-burger. They are typically quite disappointed to learn, however, that the infamous Guthrie’s on Archer ceased operation quite a few years ago.

O-

Any chance of a one night reunion between you and Senor Bean for the annual Phil Steele interview/football lobotomy on EDSBS Live!?

Just got word from the News-Sentinel that Lane Kiffin has hired “stank” as his publicist.

Yes, when I need unintentionally ironic, myopic sports commentary from places other than al.com, I read “stank”.

BAMMER!!!

For me the highlight of that video was the Raiders statement against Kiffin. Not exactly your typical statement released by the PR department. If I was Jeremy Foley I’d be calling Al Davis up and asking him for a donation to the UF program. And I’d offer him a free ticket for Sept. 19.

I’ve never believed the “ESPN is out to get UT” paranoia, but watching Bob Ley smirk, “Oh by the way they weren’t allowed to let ESPN do that,” was bizarre. Why the fuck did you do it then?

Wendy Nix, fairest of the fair, I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

The ASF has been open at its Montgomery campus and bringing culture and the arts (no, really) to central Alabama since I was in high school in the early 80s. I think we bussed up to the Gump early one morning to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream in ’86.

And then there’s this:

“Bear Country premiered at ASF’s Octagon Stage in Montgomery last January and was a major hit, becoming the venue’s highest grossing play ever during its six week run.”

"Bear Country premiered at ASF’s Octagon Stage in Montgomery last January and was a major hit, becoming the venue’s highest grossing play ever during its six week run."

Jesus, that is sad.

While that article was loaded with tender bits with which to snipe, this comment by stank was so choice, it’s like the Kobe Beef of tender snipey bits:

“Pain killers, alcohol, weed, fast food and sex attract these athletes to the big school and the NCAA looks the other way”

Troy Smith, your In ’n Out Double-Double Animal Style is ready.

How many college football players can’t not read or write at a ‘high school’ level? Listen to their intervues, they can not even communicate well in english!

So let me get this straight, stank. You drop a double negative and misspell “interviews” and “cannot,” but you choose the correct, adverbial form of “well” over “good”? Touche, stank. Touche.

That quote is from Ulysses, yo. Scylla and Charybdis episode (shakespeare argument). Know your role.

We stand corrected.

Newspaper article comments are always terrifying. Reminds you just how many people are in your community who didn’t make it through junior high school and/or have some major racial-based hangups.

JD-

It doesn’t matter what educational level, supposedly “college educated” non-student athletes fare little better. If you want to see the future, there’s a real scary book called “The Dumbest Generation”. It’s written by a NEA consultant and is no right wing diatribe, just facts.

“Stank” pigeonholes nicely into that group, I’d hazard.

I made a conscious decision not to read that book. I was afraid that I be so depressed by that book that I would reach a good stopping point, then go to my kitchen and start eating the packets you pour down the trash compactor to clean it.

Did I say trash compactor? I meant garbage disposal.

JD-

The author was on Geroge Noory the other week. Honey Pie was out of town and I listened for the whole show. Bought the book, and she read it herself.

She teaches severely handicapped 6-9 yr olds and joked that her students get a better quality of education, as some learn decent English via phonics (regular classes aren’t), behave better, and want to learn how to do simple math.

I can’t not beleive that yall are makin fun of that guy. He talks good and everything. Everybody know that fast food and weed are major recruteing tools.