Keith Byars was a badass, and this is something you should remember. Eleven Warriors sings the praises of 1984’s backfield hotness, Keith Byars. He could also return kicks against atrocious special teams coverage, too.

Lane Kiffin is recruiting them young, isn’t he? Say, that T.J. Bowman sounds very familiar, and intriguing. We’ll tell every other qb we’re recruiting that he’s just a linebacker, just in case we don’t get him on signing day. In related news, you don’t want to be the guy who tells Ed Orgeron to quit attending middle school practices because he’s terrifying the children and spectators, nor do you want to be any of these people in the SEC this year, either.

Dabo goes surreal. The man has an appreciation of the finer things in life: trick plays, embracing an odd moniker, and Jack Handey. (HT: ‘Fesser.) Dabo also had nothing to do with inflated rankings at Clemson, but after years of Tommy Bowden’s Tiger teams being top 25 preseason marvels turned regular season duds, this pattern should be familiar to Clemsonites.

Jake Heaps must be a genius. The highly touted Sammamish, WA qb will go to BYU for many reasons, sure, but it helps that he’s Mormon and heading to a pass-happy offense. If genius is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas in your head at once, then he must be one, since his final list included both BYU and Baton Rouge, and if that is not contradiction then a debate on the terminology used here is long overdue.

Mike Slive is very proud of all of you for being so mature. If Seastrunk flipped for Alabama as a result of this we would stand in awe of Nick Saban’s amazing ability to manipulate human behavior: Lache Seastrunk, Auburn recruit, apologized for the remarks taunting Nick Saban he made on video taken at Cat Party! or whatever the hell that thing was called last weekend in Auburn:

“He said he didn’t take it personal. He said he knows how it goes. He was very receptive, an awesome man. He said he still thinks I’m a great kid and knows that’s not what I’m about. I really appreciate him for that.”

Plaudits all around for being such adults about all this, and please let it never happen again for the sake of those of us who write about you.

No, really. It’s like a national pet. Bunda is gone from Fridays, but not forgotten, especially when it comes in the form of a Vice Magazine interview containing the following quotes:

Q: Does it get annoying having people stare at your ass all the time?

A: I am actually used to people looking and even touching it, to be honest.

And:

This is your signature move, right?

Yeah. Truthfully, it’s like a motor: Vrrrrrrr! It’s extremely tiring. “Go, go, go, butt! Go, go, go!”

It’s a niche market, unless that market is Brazil, the country forging the smoggy tropical dystopian future you know we are all hurtling towards whether you like it or not.