HOUSTON NUTT BRAVELY HOLDS ON TO JAMAR HORNSBY

by Orson on May 28, 2009 4:06 PM EDT

GIGGITY! Houston Nutt is waiting until the trial of Jamar Hornsby on assault charges to make up his mind about the former Florida safety fond of using dead people's credit cards for living expenses and beating up fast food workers with brass knuckles. It would be hasty since twice is a coincidence, and three times is just coincidence with a stutter.

"It’s real simple to say, ‘Next,’ but we’ve spent a lot of time, do a lot of research, get pretty close to the guy, feel like there’s a relationship there that you can maybe help him," said Nutt, who will welcome Scout’s 17th-ranked recruiting class to campus this summer. "That’s one of the reasons we’re in the business, is to help them. But there’s a double-edged sword on that deal. He’s got to help himself too, he’s got to do things right."

Like not hitting people with brass knuckles, for instance, when they neglect to put mayo on your burger. It's a scholarship offer, though, so Houston Nutt will just treat like any of the other 458 commits he gets every cycle,
anticipating their eventual trip down to Mississippi's endless community college system.

(BTW, the Mississippi economy is entirely supported by casinos, catfish, and community colleges existing solely to funnel struggling non-qualifiers up to large football programs. Add in John Grisham and booze, and you've pretty much got the entire GDP of the state in a single description. )

Oh, and this doesn't sound as bad as it looked on paper.

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To round out the Mississippi GDP list: furniture, coffins, coeds, and crazy ass mayors (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Melton)

by Bunkie Perkins on May 28, 2009 4:34 PM EDT reply actions

Houston Nutt v. Subject Verb Agreement

Subject Verb agreement should sue Nutt for trespass, nuisance, and rape. That man is a talking billboard for the educational systems of the SEC West.

“…but we’ve spent a lot of time, do a lot of research…”

He reminds me of that high school coach with the nut-hugging (no pun intended) sliding shorts who tried to teach you either geometry or geography. Either way, your knowledge in one of these fields was forever marred.

Giggitah!

by Hawgustus Caesar on May 28, 2009 4:37 PM EDT reply actions

Am I the only one who imagines HDN pronouncing Jamar like jammer?

You know why I like Jammer and Enrickey? They’re fast!

threadjack/ Corso had a mild stroke, but expected to recover for 2009 season per ESPN.

by Crabapple Buck on May 28, 2009 4:54 PM EDT reply actions

Per the hospital and ESPN, Corso’s GAMEDAY performance will be no different…

by Hawgustus Caesar on May 28, 2009 5:03 PM EDT reply actions

@ orson

to your list i would add: Grove-caliber “scenery,” William Faulkner’s bottomless bottle, magnolias, and latent racism.

you’ve nicely summed up the Mississippi economy.

by tomcat on May 29, 2009 3:43 AM EDT reply actions

@Bunkie Perkins…thanks to NAFTA coffins and furniture are pretty much gone and Frank Melton lost the election…also, I wouldn’t discount the contribution of meth labs to the robust Mississippi economy

by pick6bamr on May 29, 2009 9:12 AM EDT reply actions

@pick6bamr…plus, given that Frank Melton died shortly after that election—in fact, he never knew he lost—don’t count on him running again (VOTING again, however, is a different matter).

by the ex-croominator on May 29, 2009 9:50 AM EDT reply actions

Nutt has to hold on for Jammer………..with the 15 recruits that aren’t going to qualify, his #17 ranking will be adjusted to #37 on summer reporting day………..In other news the SEC has adopted a limit of 30 offers/yr per institution………this new rule will cripple OM recruiting and may ruin Houston’s “Mississippi Junior College Support Network”; however, we have it on good authority that the junior colleges will continue to be the main educational institutions in the state……Hooty Tooty!

by Melton's Ghost on May 29, 2009 11:52 AM EDT reply actions

Wow. What state will be put down next? Florida’s GDP: Jorts, Cocaine, The Cuban Sandwich, people over 80, meth and crack that are so abundant in the trailer parks of inner Florida, and terrorism training. Not to mention the worst public schools in the country. Crime in Florida is becoming worse than Iraq. You have to really be a badass to venture below Orlando.

Nutt is more concerned about his football team and that is why he is taking a chance on one of these Florida raised hoodlums.

Florida has become a wasteland(that about sums it up).

by Brown on May 30, 2009 5:50 AM EDT reply actions

Yea.. a kid who beats up Fast Food Workers is going to be Re-habilitated by a Coach who’s own wife dreams of beating one of his player’s Mother’s with a 2 × 4.

Yea.. a kid who beats up Fast Food Workers is going to be Re-habilitated by a Coach who’s own wife dreams of beating one of his player’s Mother’s with a 2 × 4.Anyone see any Irony (or brass or wood for that matter) in all this..?

by havok on Jun 1, 2009 10:19 AM EDT reply actions