I PROMISE THAT THESE WILL BE THE MOST EMOTIONAL MEAT PRODUCTS YOU'LL EVER TASTE

All that brisket needs to be delicious is love and support. Best when served within five yards of the grill.

I object: that is false advertising. Why is it called “Vince Young Foods”, when there are only three types of meat? Where is the Tears of Trojan Sorrow Salsa? Where are the Make Your Shitty OC Look Like A Genius Chips? Where is the Sideline Cryin’ Chili (now with a Tennessee kick!)?

They had those, but they’re all way past their expiration date, just like Rex Grossman’s Man-Batter Frosting (a.k.a. The Frosting of a Super Bowl Starter.)

Isn’t one supposed to wait until they are thoroughly washed up and 3 years removed from football to attempt terrible business ventures of this nature? Just sayin’, this ain’t standard.

And you can wash all that wonderful meat down with a tall glass (or 15) of Kerry Collins Whiskey!

I’ll have the veal . . .

I thought Suffering Succotash was trademarked for Puddy Tats. Come to think of it, Vince is just a big ol’ Puddy. My favorite dish would be the Wonderlic Ribs, which scores a 6 out of a possible 50.

So would Vince Young Foods be considered appetizers now, and Kerry Collins Foods the main course? I thought the Vince Young Foods line had been discontinued since Kerry Collins Foods was cheaper and more cost effective?

What about Vince Young’s Poodle-Kickin’ BBQ Sauce, Meltdown Meatloaf, Shirtless Man-Party Short Ribs or Depression Dogs? Depression Dogs: They distress when you cook ’em!

Kerry Collins Foods: Mm-mmm! Bigotry never tasted so good!
Kerry Collins Foods: Even nigra’s love it!
And new from Kerry Collins Foods: Bourbon BBQ Sauce, now with extra bourbon. And no barbecue sauce.

Did anybody check out Young’s personal website? I’ve never seen such a production for an NFL backup. When my kid’s old enough, she’s definitely attending the Vince Young Cheer & Dance Clinic.

But does it come with a free bottle of “STFU Kerry Collins” purple drank?

This is where I throw a trench coat over Swindle’s head and hustle him out the back door into an unmarked pickup truck, hand him an envelope full of cash, and holler GO GO GO like in that Navy commercial.

There is only one Longhorn who produces quality food products. His name is Earl Campbell. Thou shalt not trespass on the land of the Hot Link.

Have we come to the point where we are reveling in other peoples mental illnesses? He may be a douche, he may like to drink ’tron shirtless in a room full of dudes, but his half assed lamentations that he was going to commit suicide should not be something to make fun of. What is this 4chan?

@Texas Gal – Generally speaking, if you want a long-time grudge and still-fresh tears, you have to either be a rival beating us over multiple years and / or beat our various all-universe teams* by more than 3 points. Getting kicked in the balls is unpleasant at the time and doesn’t make a happy memory, but it has a pain-half-life.

Besides, our douchey Heisman winning / MNC losing quarterback is about as big of an NFL bust at the moment as your mopey Heisman losing / MNC winning quarterback. **

• This is sarcasm.
  • This not sarcasm.

I guess we can be pretty sure nobody will agree to market meat with Michael Vick’s name on it…

JTG – It could always be marketed under the Ron Mexico label. Mmmmm… taste like open sores on my genitalia.

Or the fan favorite. It’s Not Over til Its Over Pot Roast, takes about 3-5 yrs to cook…..cause its just not ready yet….