CURIOUS INDEX, 5/26/2009

by Orson on May 26, 2009 9:23 AM EDT

CONSPIRACY! Submitted by LSUFreek. Layla Kiffin and Erin Andrews were sorority sisters at Florida--true. Erin Andrews is an insanely devoted Florida fan--true. Erin Andrews has been living a double life in a long, elaborately constructed plot to bring total destruction to the Tennessee football program? We have no evidence but the following

If you've ever seen them in the same place at the same time, we want proof, and even then will dismiss your data to keep our insane worldview intact. Most conspiracy theorists won't admit that, but we'll just be open that we're riding this until it dies no matter the facts.

Call it the Erin Andrews Rule, then. We don't mind coaches criticizing each other, but the SEC is as trapped by the dichotomy of Southern cultures as the rest of us, trapped between the twin poles of the WWE and the country club. That Kiffykins has fit in so well in just his first year as to earn his own is either indicative of his ability to immediately adapt to the colors of his surroundings like a chameleon, or that he would be this brazenly dumb no matter where he was.

When LA meets New Jersey it's sure to be on ESPN2! Rutgers and UCLA are discussing a home-and-home. In other news, Florida is attempting to bulk up its 2016 schedule by booking the Botswana Secretarial and Typing School.

Schnellenberger says he'll run a paper route if you need him to. Ever since their naming rights deal fell through, Florida Atlantic has had to share Lockhart Stadium with local high school teams, one of the grim realities for the half of college football not turning a profit. (And as a prof points out in that article, that number does not factor in capital costs.)

Favorite sexual position: The Wildcat. There's nothing that will surprise you in this profile of Houston Nutt, but his city he'd like to visit as "Rio de Janeiro" does tickle the imagination. "SHAKE IT WOMAN WOOOOOOOO!!!"

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I’m not a huge Erin Andrews fan, but I like her better than Erin Kiffykins here. That there is some straight-up nightmare fuel.

by Harris on May 26, 2009 9:35 AM EDT reply actions

Ugh… Trying to get that image out of my head is akin to trying as hard as you can not to think about a blue-eyed polar bear.

by EufaulaPete on May 26, 2009 9:40 AM EDT reply actions

Why am I not surprised that Houston Nutt wants to be Moses for a day?

HOUSTON NUTT: “Now listen here Pharoah… you let my people go, you hear?”
PHAROAH: “DASNAGONNA HAPN!! LEMSDAY!!”
HOUSTON NUTT: “Oh yeah?!?!” (dramatic thumb-point) “FROGS!!!”

It just seems so right to cast the Orgeron as Pharoah, don’t you think.

by CincySooner on May 26, 2009 9:49 AM EDT reply actions

Nice #1 Ladies reference.

by Lawrence on May 26, 2009 9:51 AM EDT reply actions

So, what you are saying is that Erin Andrews has invented this “Lane Kiffin” fellow and is shacking up with Layla Kiffin?

Please elaborate in great detail…

And, if the above is not what you meant, don’t ruin it for the rest of the men in the world who would have the same reading comprehension issues as I.

by Coop on May 26, 2009 9:52 AM EDT reply actions

What sorority?

by Shoeless Stalin on May 26, 2009 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

dacoachO dun beetya tuit. he alredy bea faroh!

www.everydayshouldbelemsday.blogspot.com

Just scroll down, dacoachO hava fine faroh outfit.

by yoyofutbawl on May 26, 2009 10:49 AM EDT reply actions

Lane Kiffin had to sit in on daily meetings with Al Davis for over a year. He’s probably just enjoying how relatively civil and sane the SEC must be, and how much better everything flows when there aren’t Depends breaks every thirty minutes.

by GTSteve on May 26, 2009 11:11 AM EDT reply actions

Zeta Tau Alpha

http://ncaafootball.fanhouse.com/2009/04/28/layla-kiffin-appeals-to-bruce-pearl/

by LSUFreek on May 26, 2009 11:14 AM EDT reply actions

@7… L’Orgeron heads me off at the pass before headbutting me in the face.

(Sigh)… you win again Ed

by CincySooner on May 26, 2009 11:31 AM EDT reply actions

cincysoonah, ya gotta gitup erly tabeet dacoachO, da gratest coach in allda eastennucee!!! FAROH bilda fenceround eastennucee!!!!!

by yoyofutbawl on May 26, 2009 11:47 AM EDT reply actions

Lawrence is correct. I give this post a ninety-seven percent.

by now_a_hoo on May 26, 2009 11:54 AM EDT reply actions

The rumor I got was that if you put Depends on Al Davis, but didnt put any jogging pants on him, he would take off the Depends and run around naked all day til ya caught him again. Musta been a zoo. I couldnt coach or babysit like that.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on May 26, 2009 12:43 PM EDT reply actions