CHRIS RAINEY, HERE IS YOUR MOTIVATION
by Orson on May 21, 2009 4:21 PM EDT
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PrintOh, don't mind me. I'm just watching football practice. You're Chris Rainey, aren't you? Hi, I'm Christina Hendricks. You might know me from my work on Mad Men. Not familiar? Well, I'll show you this clip from the show. I think you'll find it representative of many of my strengths.
You say you haven't seen the show, but you will now? Well, I'd be happy to show you some private scenes, since I just loooooove talented young athletes such as yourself. I only have one thing. You have to weigh over 180 pounds, stud, or you're not going to so much as canter on this pasture.
And I've heard you don't like to eat?
"He doesn't like food," Marotti said. "It's hard to gain weight when you don't like food. He's eating because he has to. He doesn't eat because he likes food. He's just starting to drink the (nutritional) shakes (that contain 365 calories). He didn't like the shakes. How are you going to gain weight if you don't take in calories? I always tell him, 'I watch football every Sunday and I don't see anyone who looks like you playing at the next level. If that's your goal, maybe you've got to change.' "
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You come back to mama when you're full-sized. I like a man with some meat on his bones, and right now this Lean Cuisine things isn't the kind of meal I'm looking for, okay? Until then, it's just Youtube and Jergens for you, Twiggy-potamus.
This post was written by Christina Hendricks and she really will sleep with you, Chris Rainey. This is not fiction and you should treat it as a promise EAT YOU TINY GENIUS EAT!!!
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[makes CALL ME motion in the general direction of Christina’s ass]
by Holly on May 21, 2009 4:28 PM EDT reply actions
the “lose 12 lbs in 2 weeks” ad really fits well with this piece.
by Kevin@LSU on May 21, 2009 4:29 PM EDT reply actions
Well “knockin’ da bottom” outta Christina isn’t gonna help him gain any weight
by Bull_Gator on May 21, 2009 4:36 PM EDT reply actions
And I thought that Bunda had gone from these pages……
Let me stand up and salute as well
by BamaTaxMan on May 21, 2009 4:39 PM EDT reply actions
#2: I’m getting Dominos pizza ads for a “hot online deal.” Perhaps some concerned fans (and/or bloggers) could order a few pizzas to be delivered to the Rainey residence?
by Tim on May 21, 2009 4:56 PM EDT reply actions
I’m going to say what everyone is thinking. That woman is perfection defined.
by CapstoneAlum on May 21, 2009 5:31 PM EDT reply actions
Can someone please explain to her the merits of tasteful nudity in film, re: her burgeoning career?
by Whohah on May 21, 2009 5:42 PM EDT reply actions
For a second, I thought this was a live-action Tex Avery show.
That is how a woman should be built, not the sickly looking puke-queens like Kate Moss and such.
by MCab on May 21, 2009 5:50 PM EDT reply actions
That enlivened an otherwise drab afternoon. Run, Chris Rainey, run!
by dc trojan on May 21, 2009 6:00 PM EDT reply actions
Dat ass!!!!! +10 cocktails for the momentary return of bunda. sexy fridays on KSK just isn’t enough
by lovettowl on May 21, 2009 8:20 PM EDT reply actions
You want to know why this is the greatest country in the world? Click “Play” again.
And God bless us every one.
by Vandy J on May 21, 2009 10:50 PM EDT reply actions
Isn’t stand up and salute an autonomic response?
It was for me.
by allaha on May 21, 2009 11:43 PM EDT reply actions
I didn’t even have to stand up to salute. Lordy.
by Signal to Noise on May 22, 2009 2:07 AM EDT reply actions
Hey, Christina. I’m 6-foot-1, 235 lbs. You need to forget about Nightcrawler in the funky blue jersey call a grown ass man.
by Harris on May 22, 2009 8:46 AM EDT reply actions
If loving big round asses is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
by Doug on May 22, 2009 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
Artists used to create statues that looked like Ms. Hendricks.
/Wishes he was around for the Renaissance
by GamecockTony on May 22, 2009 10:29 AM EDT reply actions
Orson – thank you for introducing me to another of the world’s most beautiful women. I always feel confident I can learn somenting new at EDSBS.
by OllieGator on May 22, 2009 10:31 AM EDT reply actions
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